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Open Poetry #6
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Denise
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since 1999-08-22
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0 posted 2000-03-18 01:26 PM





The pain returns
Again it burns
Consuming me
So totally
In scorching flames
Lit – to your shame
I die again
As I did then;
The dead don’t cry
So why do I?
It would have been
A lesser sin
To run me through
Why didn’t you?



© Copyright 2000 Denise - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley
1 posted 2000-03-18 01:29 PM


Wow! Very powerful!
Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2000-03-18 01:29 PM


See! So powerful I clicked twice on the reply button!  

[This message has been edited by Poet deVine (edited 03-18-2000).]

Meadowmuse
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since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

3 posted 2000-03-18 01:36 PM


You've written the sting of bitterness so well into this piece, Denise. Excellent.

~ Claire

Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2000-03-18 01:40 PM


wow Denise...this is awesome...you have captured the essence of these emotions...the last stanza is powerful..
take care, jm

 Now for me some words come easy
But I know that they don't mean that much
Compared with the things that are said when lovers touch
You never knew what I loved in you
I don't know what you loved in me
Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be
jackson browne



Marina
Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245
Pickering, Ontario
5 posted 2000-03-18 02:04 PM


This is great Denise!  I think the lenth of it only adds to the depth of it's power and meaning.

Marina

Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
6 posted 2000-03-18 02:09 PM


Excellent poem Denise, the pain of betrayal really shows here.
A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
7 posted 2000-03-18 02:23 PM


I know what you mean!

 "Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O,no! it is an ever-fixed mark....William Shakespeare


WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
8 posted 2000-03-18 02:29 PM


Awww Denise, after a beautiful day at the ocean, what struck you to give you such pain?
I'm sorry for whatever it is that causes you such grief my friend!
Many hugs and much love to you! With prayers too!

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
9 posted 2000-03-18 02:33 PM


Denise~
Seering pain ... I feel the heat.
You've described it so well.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
10 posted 2000-03-18 02:53 PM


Your versatility is overwhelming how you can write of such peace and beauty and such anguish and fire almost simultaneously. Excellent poem, Denise, though sad.
Ravenlearns2fly
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since 2000-02-28
Posts 71

11 posted 2000-03-18 03:26 PM


oh what beauty lies within your words of pain.
I really liked this poem.!!!!
Raven

 

Denise
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since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

12 posted 2000-03-18 08:31 PM


Thank you all so much for reading and commenting. Betrayal of trust, I think, is one of the worst pains in the world. I didn't realize until the other day that this pain was still so strong within me. Thanks again for your warm and wonderful comments and thanks Rebecca for the hugs and prayers.  
Nan
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since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
13 posted 2000-03-19 08:23 AM


I guess that the positive side of tears, then, would be that they tell you you are indeed alive... and that's a good thing... as is this wonderful work, Denise..
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
14 posted 2000-03-19 10:16 AM


Wonderful poem Denise, so powerful and sad in content  
Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
15 posted 2000-03-19 10:27 AM


Pain so evident ... Denise, this is writing at it's best .....
        ((((HUGS))))
L,
Shannon

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
16 posted 2000-03-19 10:41 AM


Applauding your talents and this strong and wonderful poem
Liz

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
17 posted 2000-03-19 10:45 AM


Denise,

a poignant, beautiful poem!

Corinne

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
18 posted 2000-03-19 11:26 AM


Denise: I agree with you, betrayal of trust and the hurt continues on...well portrayed...I'm sorry, it hurts like nothing else on earth.

HUSG

LoveBug
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since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

19 posted 2000-03-19 12:01 PM


This is a very powerful poem that just about everyone can relate to. I hope that writing this helped you release some of your pain.

 "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde

Denise
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since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

20 posted 2000-03-19 02:11 PM


Thank you, Nan, Ruth, Pepper, Elizabeth, Corinne, Cindy and LoveBug for reading and for your warm and wonderfully comforting comments. It warms my heart!

Denise

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

21 posted 2000-03-19 04:27 PM


Denise, this is indeed a powerful and strong poem as well as sad. Excellent writing!  *hugs* my friend.

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge



Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

22 posted 2000-03-19 09:25 PM


Thank you for reading and for your kind comments, Dark Angel, and for the hugs too! I appreciate it very much!

Denise

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