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Passions in Poetry

Betrayal

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Denise
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0 posted 03-18-2000 01:26 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Denise




The pain returns
Again it burns
Consuming me
So totally
In scorching flames
Lit Ė to your shame
I die again
As I did then;
The dead donít cry
So why do I?
It would have been
A lesser sin
To run me through
Why didnít you?


© Copyright 2000 Denise - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley


1 posted 03-18-2000 01:29 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Wow! Very powerful!
Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley


2 posted 03-18-2000 01:29 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

See! So powerful I clicked twice on the reply button!  

[This message has been edited by Poet deVine (edited 03-18-2000).]
Meadowmuse
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since 12-27-1999
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3 posted 03-18-2000 01:36 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

You've written the sting of bitterness so well into this piece, Denise. Excellent.

~ Claire
Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
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4 posted 03-18-2000 01:40 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

wow Denise...this is awesome...you have captured the essence of these emotions...the last stanza is powerful..
take care, jm

 Now for me some words come easy
But I know that they don't mean that much
Compared with the things that are said when lovers touch
You never knew what I loved in you
I don't know what you loved in me
Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be
jackson browne


Marina
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since 02-10-2000
Posts 2267
Pickering, Ontario


5 posted 03-18-2000 02:04 PM       View Profile for Marina   Email Marina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marina

This is great Denise!  I think the lenth of it only adds to the depth of it's power and meaning.

Marina
Mistikman
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since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


6 posted 03-18-2000 02:09 PM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

Excellent poem Denise, the pain of betrayal really shows here.
A Romantic Heart
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since 09-03-99
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Forever In Your Heart


7 posted 03-18-2000 02:23 PM       View Profile for A Romantic Heart   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for A Romantic Heart

I know what you mean!

 "Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O,no! it is an ever-fixed mark....William Shakespeare

WhtDove
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8 posted 03-18-2000 02:29 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Awww Denise, after a beautiful day at the ocean, what struck you to give you such pain?
I'm sorry for whatever it is that causes you such grief my friend!
Many hugs and much love to you! With prayers too!
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores


9 posted 03-18-2000 02:33 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Denise~
Seering pain ... I feel the heat.
You've described it so well.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Balladeer
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10 posted 03-18-2000 02:53 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Your versatility is overwhelming how you can write of such peace and beauty and such anguish and fire almost simultaneously. Excellent poem, Denise, though sad.
Ravenlearns2fly
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11 posted 03-18-2000 03:26 PM       View Profile for Ravenlearns2fly   Email Ravenlearns2fly   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ravenlearns2fly

oh what beauty lies within your words of pain.
I really liked this poem.!!!!
Raven

 
Denise
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12 posted 03-18-2000 08:31 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Thank you all so much for reading and commenting. Betrayal of trust, I think, is one of the worst pains in the world. I didn't realize until the other day that this pain was still so strong within me. Thanks again for your warm and wonderful comments and thanks Rebecca for the hugs and prayers.  
Nan
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13 posted 03-19-2000 08:23 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

I guess that the positive side of tears, then, would be that they tell you you are indeed alive... and that's a good thing... as is this wonderful work, Denise..
hoot_owl_rn
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since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


14 posted 03-19-2000 10:16 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Wonderful poem Denise, so powerful and sad in content  
Pepper
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since 08-19-99
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15 posted 03-19-2000 10:27 AM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

Pain so evident ... Denise, this is writing at it's best .....
        ((((HUGS))))
L,
Shannon
Elizabeth Santos
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since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
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16 posted 03-19-2000 10:41 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Applauding your talents and this strong and wonderful poem
Liz
Corinne
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since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


17 posted 03-19-2000 10:45 AM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

Denise,

a poignant, beautiful poem!

Corinne
RainbowGirl
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since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
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18 posted 03-19-2000 11:26 AM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Denise: I agree with you, betrayal of trust and the hurt continues on...well portrayed...I'm sorry, it hurts like nothing else on earth.

HUSG
LoveBug
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19 posted 03-19-2000 12:01 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

This is a very powerful poem that just about everyone can relate to. I hope that writing this helped you release some of your pain.

 "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
Denise
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20 posted 03-19-2000 02:11 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Thank you, Nan, Ruth, Pepper, Elizabeth, Corinne, Cindy and LoveBug for reading and for your warm and wonderfully comforting comments. It warms my heart!

Denise
Dark Angel
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since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


21 posted 03-19-2000 04:27 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Denise, this is indeed a powerful and strong poem as well as sad. Excellent writing!  *hugs* my friend.

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


Denise
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22 posted 03-19-2000 09:25 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Thank you for reading and for your kind comments, Dark Angel, and for the hugs too! I appreciate it very much!

Denise
 
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