navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #6 » Fallen Heart (any title suggestions would be appreciated)
Open Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic Fallen Heart (any title suggestions would be appreciated) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2000-03-18 10:02 AM


I sit here in rapt fascination,
At a fallen heart's one inclination.
To hold on to fear,
When another draws near,
Showing love in minutest degree.

Once bitten twice shy, so they say.
We live it, each our own way.
But finding true love,
Is a gift from above,
Will it find you or just pass you by?

If you can't face the chance you must take,
Because once you had made a mistake.
The love that is true,
Will be lost from your view.
There in, lies the worst wounding blow                  

© Copyright 2000 Marilyn - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

1 posted 2000-03-18 11:59 AM


It must be a tough spot to be in. You have expressed that well in this piece! I'm not sure of a title. If I can come up with something I'll let you know!

Denise

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
2 posted 2000-03-18 12:10 PM


How about

"Life's Greatest Mistake"
"To Face True Love"
"Face Love, Embrace Love"
"In the Face of Love"
"Don't Lose the Best"
"Undeniable"

Oh, well. I tried. Whatever the title, the poem is great!
Liz

Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
3 posted 2000-03-18 12:20 PM


"Love's Second Chance"

        Love is lovlier
    the second time around
       just as wonderful
  with both feet on the ground

      its that second time
  you hear your love song sung,
makes you think, that love like youth
     is wasted on the young,

      Loves more comfortable,
     the second time you fall,
       like a friendly home,
     the second time you call,

    there are those who'll bet
    love comes but once and yet,
     you'll be so glad you met
     on the second time around.

lyrics from "Second Time Around".


 A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives.

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
4 posted 2000-03-18 12:29 PM


Danny, Perfect title, "Love's Second Chance"
Liz

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
5 posted 2000-03-18 12:39 PM


I love your message here, Marilyn...
We just can't go through life blaming the next for the shortcomings of the previous, ya know?... and so many do..

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2000-03-18 02:29 PM


Marilyn~
Lovely thoughts you've penned.
I like it very much.
Borrowing from Danny's idea ...
I would suggest 'Second Time Around'
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2000-03-18 07:59 PM


Marilyn I think a nice title would be one of the following although you already have a title now called Fallen Heart.  But anyway:
A chance, take a chance, Love's chance, A chance to Love.  Very close to Dannys idea.  James

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
8 posted 2000-03-18 08:08 PM


It's a wonderful poem, Marilyn. How about "Wipe the slate clean"?

or "double exposure"

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
9 posted 2000-03-18 11:44 PM


Love that song Once bitten twice shy baby....
Great poem Marilyn...though I like the title's offered and couldn't give ya one for this...sorry.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
10 posted 2000-03-19 09:51 AM


Marilyn, I can totally relate to this as you know. I rather like Danny's suggestion too  
Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
11 posted 2000-03-19 11:25 AM


I like Danny's idea for your title too .....
A beautifully written piece that speaks to me ....
L.,
Shannon

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
12 posted 2000-03-19 11:30 AM


Marilyn: I too like Danny's choice but it might not be 2nd, could 5th or 10th..LOL...I only hope it gets better the higher the number..

HUSG

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
13 posted 2000-03-19 02:01 PM


Thankyou all for your replies and suggestions.  

Danny...thankyou for the lovely response.  

James...yes I put a title on this piece but was not satisfied with it. That is why I asked for suggestions.

Rainbow....That is very true. It doesn't matter the number of times we have tried to find love but that someday we do find it. The only thing is with each attempt we lose a little more hope and burry ourselves deeper behind our walls. *sigh*

What do you think of "Another Chance for Love" or "Love's Other Chance." ?



Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
14 posted 2000-03-19 02:06 PM


" Loves Other Chance " ... sounds right to me, Marilyn ...  
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #6 » Fallen Heart (any title suggestions would be appreciated)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary