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Open Poetry #6
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648


0 posted 2000-03-17 03:56 PM


~
Once again
Another part of me dies
Thrust clean through
By reality’s sword
I bleed

Again

drop

by

drop

by

drop
~
drip
~
drip
~
drip


© Copyright 2000 Denise - All Rights Reserved
Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
1 posted 2000-03-17 04:46 PM


Piercing piece you have written here.  I have gone for bandages, hold pressure on that wound.

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
2 posted 2000-03-17 05:09 PM


Denise, dear
Your creative juices are flowing. I know the feel of that blade. And you wrote it so well.
Good work
Liz

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
3 posted 2000-03-17 05:21 PM


And Corinne puts the drip drip action into fast reverse, replenishing Denise's blood supply!

I like how you push the envelope, Denise!

Corinne

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2000-03-17 05:43 PM


Ouch, I felt that from here...and now I drip too...
Ravenlearns2fly
Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 71

5 posted 2000-03-17 06:47 PM


oooooo!! I really liked this poem,words at times can bring such vision to thine eyes.
Raven

 

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
6 posted 2000-03-17 07:37 PM


Dee I really like this and the way it fell like drops at the endof the poem!  

 "Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O,no! it is an ever-fixed mark....William Shakespeare



Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2000-03-17 07:52 PM


Denise~

This is very creative.
I like the message and the format.
I like the way it 'flows'  
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

8 posted 2000-03-17 08:37 PM


WOW! Denise, this is fantastic, loved the way it flowed and the format too. Terrific writing.  

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge



RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
9 posted 2000-03-17 09:08 PM


Denise: HUSG

 I love the way I look in your eyes, I'm just me tho'...
We are all works in progress, no?


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2000-03-17 09:10 PM


I offer you a chalice, and let not a drop be stricken...This is GOOD "d"!  Thanks!
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

11 posted 2000-03-17 09:15 PM


Thank you, Danny, Elizabeth, Corinne, Martie, Raven, Romantic Heart, Marge, Dark Angel, Rainbow (HUGS), and Serenity for reading and for your kind comments. You all are so wonderful!

Denise

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
12 posted 2000-03-18 02:22 PM


Denise, This is awesome writing I love the form you used and the whole way you wrote this.
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
13 posted 2000-03-18 02:32 PM


You sure have a way of portraying your pain and hurt! Denise, keep praying, they know not what they do. You bring tears to my to know you're hurting so bad.  I love ya Denise!  ~hugs~
Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
14 posted 2000-03-18 04:36 PM


Denise,
I too, like the format you used here ....  a poem that the reader really feels ....
Excellent !!
If you are hurting, I send you hugs... and if you're not, I send you hugs ...

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

15 posted 2000-03-18 08:35 PM


Thank you Gloria, Rebecca and Pepper for reading and commenting and for the hugs! They are appreciated!

Denise

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
16 posted 2000-03-20 10:16 AM


Denise...me thinks free verse is becoming of you  
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
17 posted 2000-03-20 10:28 AM


Denise...me thinks free verse is becoming of you  
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

18 posted 2000-03-20 01:41 PM


Thank you Ruth! I'm glad you think so!

Denise

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
19 posted 2000-03-20 08:48 PM


d,
To staunch that wound  , some humor quick
Bandages will need  , that little *****

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

20 posted 2000-03-20 08:53 PM


ROFL   Oh, that's great, Dr. Moose! Thanks, I needed that!

Denise

Blondie
Member
since 1999-08-06
Posts 307
Ohio
21 posted 2000-03-20 08:56 PM


very very creative!!  
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