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Passions in Poetry

black evening

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bsquirrel
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since 01-03-2000
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0 posted 03-17-2000 12:19 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

Bauhaus playing on the box.
Candles casting light and shadow.
Dark outside shapes move by the window.
It's a black evening.

Moon just a fingernail paring.
Dusk too fragile and dim for sharing.
Would you like the feel of something daring?
Taste the black evening.

Invisible arms hold me up.
Invisible hands push me down.
Invisible wishes burn in flame,
Dyed a black evening.

Clock shows hours that don't exist.
Coded fears I didn't have on the list.
There's still someone who needs to be kissed,
'Cause it's a black evening.

Voice calls outside in the night.
Candle flame casts a coldless light.
"Come and rectify what went wrong and right."
Don't listen to the black evening.

Phone rings triplets out of tune.
Still can't see much of the moon,
Under the dark trees that swoon
With the black evening.

Clouds are weaving
A day unbelieving
Into a moon that's wreathing
A black evening.
Day is over.
It's time for cover.
Pull close your lover.
Say you love her.

And don't be lured away,
For it's a black evening.

Roses in piles
As inert as graves.
Whatever bloomed is forever doomed
To the cusp of the lips of your youth of your tomb.
Hide from black evening.

The night is here.
Be quiet, dear.
The door looks so small and hunched over.
Easy to break in and snatch away my lover.
The night is here.
Be quiet, dear.
Shhhh.

Hide yourself deep in yourself.
For it's a black evening.
Dress in light colors, say your prayers.
Don't go near the stacked shadow stairs.
Hurry, emote your motionless tears.
It's a black evening.

(c) 2000 Mike Chmielecki
© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Aimster
Member Elite
since 02-19-2000
Posts 4367
Charlotte, NC


1 posted 03-17-2000 12:37 AM       View Profile for Aimster   Email Aimster   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aimster

~mike...

another great poem! u go boy!! this one was really good i thought too. full of mystery, suspense, power, all that...very nice

amy  

 ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~
devina
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since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


2 posted 03-17-2000 12:41 AM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

Only you could make the black evening sound romantic!!! This was yet another wonder!!

Pull close your lover...say you love her...

This was my favorite line, really drew me into the depths of the poem!!!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

bsquirrel
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3 posted 03-17-2000 12:59 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Amy,
Thanks. I like how you end with "...all that."   True to form, this poem came out while I was listening to Bauhaus. "Whoever that is," you're probably saying. A really cool post punk group that's often grouped under goth.

Devina,
Glad you enjoyed. And I liked that line, too. I'm trying to get more into the humanity behind the insanity these days.  

Mike
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


4 posted 03-17-2000 01:12 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

A new classic from "b"---this so appeals to
my moodiness.

Can I play favorite lines too?

"the cusp of the lips of your youth of your tomb..."

I have missed you, my friend...
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
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since 01-03-2000
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5 posted 03-18-2000 02:44 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Hi, 's'. Thanks for reading. Yes, I'm been absent of late. Here's me trying to find my way back. half  

Mike
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


6 posted 03-18-2000 02:56 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Write me, you weenie!  (Did I ever once mention, tho, that my computer was as slow as...Eeeewwww!)   Well.  At least I have an excuse...
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


7 posted 03-18-2000 03:57 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Mike~
This is a stunning piece of work.

'Moon just a fingernail paring'

Wonderful, wonderful image.
Can't get more perfect than that.
~*Marge*~



 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

INclan
Senior Member
since 07-20-99
Posts 1046
Indiana, USA


8 posted 03-18-2000 05:24 AM       View Profile for INclan   Email INclan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for INclan

Good poem, Mike. I enjoyed the imagery. At first I thought I was reading the lyrics of a song, the poem flowed so well.  Changing to a more liberal format took something away, for me.

You might consider a second version written as a song throughout. Just a suggestion.

INclan
bsquirrel
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9 posted 03-18-2000 12:43 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thanks, Marge. I try to choose my words carefully when writing, and took a few tries to get that particular phrase. Glad it was worth it.

INclan,
I believe a lot of poems, with their inherent, subtle rhythm and sometimes rhymes would make good songs. In fact, I was sorta humming a tune to myself while writing this poem. Thanks for the suggestion, but I like it the way it is.

Mike
Meadowmuse
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since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


10 posted 03-18-2000 03:22 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

This is one of those times when I just have to say, "Wow."

{shaking my head}

I've been listening to Peter Murphy's "Cascade" for the past two hours, then to read this...okay, another "Wow..."

bsquirrel
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11 posted 03-19-2000 02:34 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Peter Murphy's awesome, but I still think he was best while in Bauhaus. He had the theatrics, the atmosphere, and especially the humor down pat. Nice to know there's another fan out there. And even better to know it's you!  

Mike
Elizabeth Santos
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since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


12 posted 03-19-2000 04:12 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Mike
I am in love with your poem
Liz
 
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