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Open Poetry #6
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My first post in Open.... "Staring"
| Open Poetry #6 |
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My first post in Open.... "Staring" |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697
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Hi everyone, this is my first post in Open, so be kind!  Staring I’m always staring I see everything you do I hear everything you say I know more about you than you could ever know about me Or want to know about me Staring I can’t take my eyes away From your walk, your manner And your eyes... oh, those eyes I can’t tear myself away From staring at you Sometimes I wonder If you know that I’m staring at you And if you know, do you care? Do I even want to find out? If you know, or if you don’t You are still so cold to me But I can’t tear myself away I’m still staring I wonder how many people have been stared at How many people had someone To know everything about them To cherish every move, every word And never known it Maybe they are like you And they are cold to that person And they never know who’s staring Or they just don’t care But you may not know How much it can hurt To stare at the one you love... just stare And not even receive kindness in return But, now I warn you, and all others Who are stared at every day Treat everyone with kindness You may never know who is staring Or who you may be staring at tomorrow "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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| © Copyright 2000 Erica N. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
WOW! Lots to ponder here...never thought of it this way! Welcome to Open! I love it, I do!  |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Well first let me say welcome to Open, it is a very friendly place, you will probably find. This poem is pretty good for your first post in here. I would suggest working on the flow a bit more though. It shouldnt sound forced or repetative when saying it out loud. The message represented is a very good one though. Keep working at it Lovebug! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Welcome to Open, LoveBug! You have some great thoughts in this. I had never thought of that before! Denise |
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bboog Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 303Valencia, California |
LoveBug~ everyone is staring at you, but don't mind them. One thought, in these lines To know everything about them To cherish every move, every word I think they might read better if you were to eliminate the "to" so they'd read know everything about them cherish every move, every word but that's just a thought. Keep writing! bboog |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
It can be hard coming in to Open for the first time! Well done - for your bravery and for your great poem, Love Bug. Hopefully we'll see more of you here. 'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
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childomine Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818st. petersburg, FL |
I've been on both ends of the spectrum - staring and stared at - and never really given it thought - until your poem. Good first post. |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Welcome to Open! We don't bite do we guys? LOL at least most of us dont...Anyway wonderful poem you've wrote here...made me sit and think a lot. Thanks I needed to do that...Good job! Amy ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~ |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
I understand the apprehension of that first post. I know that you will be welcomed with open arms. |
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Glorfindel Junior Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 22Auckland, New Zealand |
The desire to observe and emulate is the most sincere form of flattery. Oh, and didn't yo momma ever tell you its rude to stare!? Let winds rage, seas boil and years curse, My love shal live everyoung in my verse. |
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Glorfindel Junior Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 22Auckland, New Zealand |
But theres no harm in looking, is there.......? |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Thanks for the warm welcome and the suggestions, everyone! "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Lovebug, Someone is staring at you from a distance, and you were not aware. I've been watching your poetry from way down here in Florida. When I was 15, I did a lot of staring, too, and they never stared back. Now I just give a subtle glance. Nice poem from a nice teen poet I love you Liz |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Welcome to Open |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Love Bug--what a unique and interesting poem--I'm so glad you posted it. BIG WELCOME! |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Thanks for the replies, all! Liz, it's good to hear from you again! Thanks for replying! "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
LoveBug, You made me think and I see a very creative mind at work here ... 'S' Welcome to Open ... I've heard alot of good things about you and am looking forward to enjoying more of your work  |
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