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Passions in Poetry

My first post in Open.... "Staring"

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LoveBug
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since 01-08-2000
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0 posted 03-15-2000 10:52 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for LoveBug

Hi everyone, this is my first post in Open, so be kind!  


Staring
Iím always staring
I see everything you do
I hear everything you say
I know more about you than you could ever know about me
Or want to know about me

Staring
I canít take my eyes away
From your walk, your manner
And your eyes... oh, those eyes
I canít tear myself away
From staring at you

Sometimes I wonder
If you know that Iím staring at you
And if you know, do you care?
Do I even want to find out?

If you know, or if you donít
You are still so cold to me
But I canít tear myself away
Iím still staring

I wonder how many people have been stared at
How many people had someone
To know everything about them
To cherish every move, every word
And never known it

Maybe they are like you
And they are cold to that person
And they never know whoís staring
Or they just donít care

But you may not know
How much it can hurt
To stare at the one you love... just stare
And not even receive kindness in return

But, now I warn you, and all others
Who are stared at every day
Treat everyone with kindness
You may never know who is staring
Or who you may be staring at tomorrow



 "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
© Copyright 2000 Erica N. - All Rights Reserved
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


1 posted 03-15-2000 11:01 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

WOW! Lots to ponder here...never thought of it this way!  Welcome to Open!

I love it, I do!  
Mistikman
Senior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


2 posted 03-15-2000 11:02 PM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

Well first let me say welcome to Open, it is a very friendly place, you will probably find. This poem is pretty good for your first  post in here. I would suggest working on the flow a bit more though. It shouldnt sound forced or repetative when saying it out loud. The message represented is a very good one though. Keep working at it Lovebug!  
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


3 posted 03-15-2000 11:48 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Welcome to Open, LoveBug! You have some great thoughts in this. I had never thought of that before!

Denise
bboog
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since 02-29-2000
Posts 307
Valencia, California


4 posted 03-16-2000 12:10 AM       View Profile for bboog   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit bboog's Home Page   View IP for bboog

LoveBug~ everyone is staring at you, but don't mind them. One thought, in these lines
To know everything about them
To cherish every move, every word

I think they might read better if you were to eliminate the "to" so they'd read

know everything about them
cherish every move, every word

but that's just a thought. Keep writing!
bboog
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


5 posted 03-16-2000 12:37 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

It can be hard coming in to Open for the first time!

Well done - for your bravery and for your great poem, Love Bug.

Hopefully we'll see more of you here.



 'Writing sharpens life;
life enriches writing'
Sylvia Plath
childomine
Senior Member
since 01-25-2000
Posts 822
st. petersburg, FL


6 posted 03-16-2000 12:40 AM       View Profile for childomine   Email childomine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for childomine

I've been on both ends of the spectrum - staring and stared at - and never really given it thought - until your poem.  Good first post.
Aimster
Member Elite
since 02-19-2000
Posts 4367
Charlotte, NC


7 posted 03-16-2000 12:43 AM       View Profile for Aimster   Email Aimster   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aimster

Welcome to Open! We don't bite do we guys? LOL at least most of us dont...Anyway wonderful poem you've wrote here...made me sit and think a lot. Thanks I needed to do that...Good job!

Amy  

 ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~
EagleOne
Member Elite
since 03-07-2000
Posts 2858
Between a laugh and a tear...


8 posted 03-16-2000 01:32 AM       View Profile for EagleOne   Email EagleOne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for EagleOne

I understand the apprehension of that first post. I know that you will be welcomed with open arms.  
Glorfindel
Junior Member
since 02-17-2000
Posts 22
Auckland, New Zealand


9 posted 03-16-2000 04:43 AM       View Profile for Glorfindel   Email Glorfindel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Glorfindel

The desire to observe and emulate is the most sincere form of flattery.

Oh, and didn't yo momma ever tell you its rude to stare!?  

 Let winds rage, seas boil and years curse,
My love shal live everyoung in my verse.
Glorfindel
Junior Member
since 02-17-2000
Posts 22
Auckland, New Zealand


10 posted 03-16-2000 04:45 AM       View Profile for Glorfindel   Email Glorfindel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Glorfindel

But theres no harm in looking, is there.......?
LoveBug
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11 posted 03-16-2000 10:55 AM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

Thanks for the warm welcome and the suggestions, everyone!

 "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


12 posted 03-16-2000 11:13 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Lovebug,
Someone is staring at you from a distance, and you were not aware. I've been watching your poetry from way down here in Florida.
When I was 15, I did a lot of staring, too, and they never stared back. Now I just give a subtle glance.
Nice poem from a nice teen poet
I love you
Liz
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


13 posted 03-16-2000 11:28 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Welcome to Open  
Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


14 posted 03-16-2000 05:09 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Love Bug--what a unique and interesting poem--I'm so glad you posted it. BIG WELCOME!
LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
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since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


15 posted 03-16-2000 07:35 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

Thanks for the replies, all!

Liz, it's good to hear from you again! Thanks for replying!

 "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
16 posted 03-16-2000 07:56 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

LoveBug,
You made me think and I see a very creative mind at work here ... 'S'
Welcome to Open ... I've heard alot of good things about you and am looking forward to enjoying more of your work  
LoveBug will be notified of replies
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