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Passions in Poetry

Innocence Lost

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Mistikman
Senior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


0 posted 03-15-2000 10:20 PM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Mistikman

Innocence Lost

A title so overused
It is almost a cliché
Often to describe rape
I see it another way

My life headed downhill
I knew not what to do
Everything was dark
No one to see me through

Everything I tried to do
Ended with a failure
Life of eternal darkness
Light was unfamiliar

My grades were low
And I didn't even care
At that point in my life
All I saw was despair

Everyone that I knew
Voiced their indifference
Unaware of my situation
My actions made no sense

Then one dark lonely night
I reached an all time low
Grabbing for a sharp object
My strife would they know

I carved ever so slowly
The letters in my arm
The pain felt so small
Compared to my mental harm

The word summed me up
All that I had known
Nothing seemed more true
Than this word:

Alone

© Copyright 2000 Travis Welton - All Rights Reserved
Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 03-06-2000
Posts 3768
Michigan


1 posted 03-15-2000 10:27 PM       View Profile for Butterflies_dont_cry   Email Butterflies_dont_cry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Butterflies_dont_cry

Mistikman,
Wow!  This has so much feeling and so much pain.  The ending came out of no where and took my breath away.  
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


2 posted 03-15-2000 10:33 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

I'm going to tell you only once more...this is very good..you've gotten to be a good poet while here at Passions!  
LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


3 posted 03-15-2000 10:36 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

This is a good poem, but a bad situation. I hope you get through this ok,and you know who to turn to whenever you need a friend!

 "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


4 posted 03-15-2000 11:53 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Very powerful and sad poem. Well written!

Denise
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


5 posted 03-16-2000 12:27 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Mistik~

This is very, very good.
I would trust that you are far past that stage in your life.
Your brilliance takes you far beyond the realm of being 'alone'.

'Unaware of my situation'

Unaware is the definitive word here ...
we can't 'feel' the pain of others if they mask it.  We do need to be more aware of others and their feelings.

How ?  ASK ... dig beyond the idiosyncrasies of the person and CARE WHAT THEY THINK!

Man, you've got so much going on for you ... infuse it into others around you.
Reach out ... you'll find those who need your friendship.
*HUGS*
~*Marge*~




 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


6 posted 03-16-2000 12:28 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Well done...echoing everything above!

K

 'Writing sharpens life;
life enriches writing'
Sylvia Plath
Mistikman
Senior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


7 posted 03-16-2000 01:38 AM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

Butterflies_dont_cry- Thank you. I try to make the conclusions to my poems as strong as powerful, I love reading poetry that goes out with a bang, so I chose that style for my own. I am glad it had the desired effect.

Poet deVine- LOL, thanks  

LoveBug- This is describing an episode I had 3 years ago, not a current one. Thanks for the support anyway  

dsnyder- Thank you.

Marge Tindal- Beyond it? Yes. Far beyond it? Never. The title was supposed to hint at it, maybe it was too vague. When I carved into my arm, a part of my innocence was lost forever. It is one of those things that once you do it, you cant ever fully go back. The scars on my arm are there to forever remind me of how low I sunk. I can move on, but this will forever be a part of me. That one act changed me as a person forever.

Severn- Thank you. Echoing my above responses then    
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


8 posted 03-16-2000 01:43 AM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

Very powerful and important work, Mistikman. Keep writing it out.

~ Claire
wayoutwalt
Member Ascendant
since 06-22-99
Posts 5106
TEXAS (it's all big)


9 posted 03-16-2000 02:56 AM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wayoutwalt

sniff it did the same to me mistik yuh got me with a sharp poem to the heart (not to be whats the word o you'll think of it but yuh can i save that reply it was killer  )
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


10 posted 03-16-2000 08:06 AM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

You definately have come far since you found us Travis. This was an amazing poem and even if there are no scars on the skin there are always ones on the heart. Know we love you here and if you ever need us, we are here. Well done.  
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


11 posted 03-16-2000 11:38 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Sir, this is astounding.  I can relate all too well.  I think being alone is the most miserable feeling on earth.  Far worse than some other things I can only try to compare it to.  If there was just some way to link all the lonely people in the world together, that would probably fix everything!  Then NO ONE would be alone!  I have lived in a house full of people before though, and felt like I was more alone that way.....alone inside 4 walls.  Just because others are around you, doesn't mean they are THERE .....You know what I mean, I'm sure.  Thanks for the read, you got my wheels turning this morning.     I also want to thank you for all the nice comments you've left me.  I wish I could have left more comments for you too!  I will do better, I promise!  I'll be dropping in from time to time.   Sincerely,  Gennifer
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


12 posted 03-16-2000 12:33 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I can't say anything anyone else hasn't said about this piece. It's sad truth and well written.
Mistikman
Senior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


13 posted 03-16-2000 06:13 PM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

Meadowmuse- Thank you, I will.

wayoutwalt- Heh, Thanks walt.   I am glad my poem affected you.

Marilyn- Thank you. Scars are something I know far too much about, I am afraid. Both emotional and physical I now have as evidence of my past, and neither will heal anytime soon.

poetFemmeFatale- Indeed, I would rather suffer anything else, besides being alone. Having someone to lean on can help in any situation, unless the situation is the fact that you have no one to lean on and share with. You are welcome for the reply, I was happy to do it, and I meant what I said, this place just wont be the same without you.

hoot_owl_rn- Thank you.
Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


14 posted 03-16-2000 07:58 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Excellent work there Mistik.  The emotion is evident.  I carved something in my arm once too - "F.T.W."...LOL  Wonder what that stood for?  

Great poem


michael
Mistikman
Senior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


15 posted 03-16-2000 11:46 PM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

Michael- Thanks for reading. I dont know how you feel about what you did, but I wish I had never carved into my arm, it brought me nothing but harm in the long run, serving as a reminder to everything wrong in my life, and people still failed to notice me. Such is life I guess...
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


16 posted 03-17-2000 07:25 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Hey! I got a rolly!

Thanks!

 'Writing sharpens life;
life enriches writing'
Sylvia Plath
 
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