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Passions in Poetry

I'm Sorry...

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devina
Member Elite
since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


0 posted 03-15-2000 02:01 AM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for devina

Tonight I cried for you in vain-
For the unfairness of your pain-
It wasn’t your fault,
My dear love of heart-
And I will weep for you..

Not because you’re weak-
But because I love you…
And I should have been there-
To hold you, to save you,
Just to be there.

Instead I stayed in darkness,
Unaware of all your pain-
I can only thank God-
That you’re still here with me today.

Please forgive my ignorance-
For not knowing that you needed me-
For not feeling you calling my heart-
For not being able to see.
That I almost lost the one so dear to me.

I would have walked the world-
In empty shadow-
Feeling all your pain-
Missing you, loving you-
Trying to justify the same.

Regardless of what you’ve lost-
You still hold all inside-
Because you’re you-
My soul sister at heart-
My relation to the world-
My only justification-
To care or not care.

Remember my heart
Is there…and I’m sorry-
That I wasn’t.
Regretful tears still sting
These eyes…
For the one I almost lost to Fate.

*Dedicated to one of my very closest friends, Marlene…whom I almost lost in a car accident six months ago. I recently learned that she’s paralyzed from the waist down…and this heart continues to bleed for what never should have been.*




 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

© Copyright 2000 Tanya Nicole Bustamante - All Rights Reserved
wayoutwalt
Member Ascendant
since 06-22-99
Posts 5106
TEXAS (it's all big)


1 posted 03-15-2000 02:05 AM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wayoutwalt

oman sniff forget a about the great flow of the poem the sentiment is sweet and its just the perfect poem,,,nicely done devina
bboog
Member
since 02-29-2000
Posts 307
Valencia, California


2 posted 03-15-2000 02:26 AM       View Profile for bboog   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit bboog's Home Page   View IP for bboog

dV~ I think this poem could use a little bit of editing. For example, instead of
Tonight I cried for you in vain-
For the unfairness of your pain-

I think you should forget about rhyme and start the first stanza in free verse. example

"Tonight I cried for you Marlene
Not because you’re weak-
I love you…
I should have been there-
To hold you, to save you,
Just to be there.

Please forgive my ignorance-
I didn't know that you needed me-
I didn't feel you calling my heart-
I wasn't able to see.

I almost lost someone dear to me
stayed in darkness,
Unaware of all your pain-
thank God-
you’re still here with me today

~I don't know if this helps you, it just seems like you're saying the same thing, and a little pruning could make the picture that much clearer.
best regards,
bboog
Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


3 posted 03-15-2000 03:44 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Devina~
This is your heart talking to a friend.
What beautiful words you write.
These are YOUR emotions
YOUR words
YOUR thoughts .....
Perfect just the way it stands.

I hope you get to share it with your friend ... I'm sure she will need and want to feel your hugs.
Love ya'
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


4 posted 03-15-2000 03:57 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

This is sad and so beautiful devina, I'm sure your friend will love and appreciate this.  
beautifully written.  

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


5 posted 03-15-2000 08:57 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

devina,
    
It is good to cry, my dear.  This is very very sad and your warm, caring, loving side show though so vividly here.  So please don't misunderstand what I am about to say.

Circumstance is what kept you from being there the night of the accident.  Fate can deal some pretty hard blows at times.  Even still, you had now way knowing what had happened so please, please don't beat yourself up for "not" being there.  Your heart has always held the friendship special, and from where you were, what else could be done?

You were able to share you beautiful emotion with your friend last night, even if under less than desirable circumstance.  Some never get that chance.  By all means be sad for her, but also be joyous she is alive and still your friend.  Most of all, do not carry ANY guilt from this.  And if I've said too much just slap me!  I am speaking from experience here, though.

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))!!!!!


Michael

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


6 posted 03-15-2000 09:08 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

This is full of sadness... but also beautiful with shared friendship. We can't always protect our friends... we can only love them.
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


7 posted 03-15-2000 09:16 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

devina,
A wonderful sad poem. You did well.
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


8 posted 03-15-2000 09:19 AM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

Wow Devina!  What an apology.....very heartfelt.. thanks for sharing!!
devina
Member Elite
since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


9 posted 03-15-2000 10:16 AM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

wayoutwalt- I thank you dear...straight from my heart!!

bboog- I respect your critisism, however this poem had no forthought, no planning, and definantly no format. This was strictly me dealing with the pain...maybe you should feel that instead of "just" a format.

Marge- How can I ever thank you enough for understanding?? This was an overflow of my heart here!! thank you!!

Dark Angel- thank you..that means alot!!

Michael- I know what you're saying hun, don't worry, this hand won't be doing any slapping on your part...I know you are right...thanks for being there!!!

suthern- You're right, of course...that sounds like a poem all in itself!!! thank you.

Sy- thanks to you m'friend...just dealing with the pain!!!

LR- So I did good on the apology huh??G* thanks m'friend!!


 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


10 posted 03-15-2000 04:35 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Excellent expression, Devina! Very well done!
I'm so sorry for your pain.
Denise
Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 08-26-99
Posts 1064
northern mountains, Idaho


11 posted 03-15-2000 04:45 PM       View Profile for Rosemary J. Gwaltney   Email Rosemary J. Gwaltney   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rosemary J. Gwaltney's Home Page   View IP for Rosemary J. Gwaltney

Oh, Devina,  you are such a warm and loving person.  This poem is lovely and heartrending.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


12 posted 03-15-2000 05:08 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Wonderful sentiments from a loving and concerned heart.   James
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


13 posted 03-15-2000 05:23 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

My turn to cry, devina.  Beautifully expressed...love to you, and prayers for Marlene.
Marina
Member Elite
since 02-10-2000
Posts 2267
Pickering, Ontario


14 posted 03-15-2000 05:42 PM       View Profile for Marina   Email Marina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marina

A beautiful poem devina...fate can play such a strange role in our lives.  What is important is you can be there for her now. I'm sure just writing this will have made you feel better.
HUGS to you and Marlene

Marina
mariee66
Senior Member
since 01-30-2000
Posts 621
Recess, OfYourMind


15 posted 03-15-2000 05:52 PM       View Profile for mariee66   Email mariee66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mariee66

How heart wrenching this must be for you~
I feel your pain, as I am no starnger to it myself~
Take Care~
Marie~


 "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;
And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind." The Bard

Sven
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Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


16 posted 03-15-2000 11:07 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

Beautiful Devina. . .

You all know the song. . . "Don't know what you've got. .  ."  sometimes, we should feel glad that we do. . .

-----------------------------------------------

 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

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