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Passions in Poetry

Would this make you cry?

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redwriter1
Member
since 07-22-99
Posts 476
Franklin, TN


0 posted 03-14-2000 09:57 PM       View Profile for redwriter1   Email redwriter1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for redwriter1

You can't leave, not without me
we had a deal, don't you remember
you swore, you promised I could come

You can't take it back
it's a done deal
don't you dare go back on a promise
it's not fair and I don't care
who you tell
we had a deal

(tell me what pictures or stories come to mind with this chorus)

It could go a million ways.. so I"m looking for your fresh ideas. (smile)

thanks guys!!

(( ohhh and.. try not to kill anyone.. if at all possible.. it's been done to death)) eww.. bad pun sorry


[This message has been edited by redwriter1 (edited 03-14-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 redwriter1 - All Rights Reserved
mariee66
Senior Member
since 01-30-2000
Posts 621
Recess, OfYourMind


1 posted 03-14-2000 10:23 PM       View Profile for mariee66   Email mariee66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mariee66

Hmm... I'm thinking two lovers... possibly young... who made a pact~
One has begun to have second thoughts~
The other is pressuring~
Am I anywhere close to homeplate???~
Or am I out in left field???~  
Marie~


 "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;
And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind." The Bard

redwriter1
Member
since 07-22-99
Posts 476
Franklin, TN


2 posted 03-14-2000 10:25 PM       View Profile for redwriter1   Email redwriter1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for redwriter1

I'm trying to be a little more original, as in.. siblings.. (cos that's where I got the idea from). something showing that love runs very deep, (and not just for lovers).

got any new ideas now? story line?

I have an idea in mind.. just seeing what you all think.
redwriter1
Member
since 07-22-99
Posts 476
Franklin, TN


3 posted 03-15-2000 07:32 AM       View Profile for redwriter1   Email redwriter1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for redwriter1

mmm noone has any thoughts  

guess it's time for re-writing ..lol
www.mp3.com/kaylynn

[This message has been edited by redwriter1 (edited 03-15-2000).]
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


4 posted 03-15-2000 07:34 AM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

A parent dying and leaving his child and the the child is angry....and I could be way of base as well..

HUGS
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