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Passions in Poetry

As I Loved You

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Michael
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since 08-13-99
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0 posted 03-14-2000 08:01 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Michael

AS I LOVED YOU


Welled in deepest, darkest eyes
‘Er wore by you to my surprise
I watch the tear form and fall
By virgin trail of Love's call.
To stand before me speaking now
Of remembering "when" and "how".
To try once more lay open heart
To cheat Fate whom swore us apart.

I stand yet back from you to say
By eyes ‘er true, I look away.
Please call upon this name no more
For love, yet there, shall ne'er be tore.
How dare you speak of one shared soul,
Dare reopen that hell-wrought hole.
That sucked love from these lifeless veins,
That live I now to love in chains...

Of Yesterday's sweet memory
Of woman stood now before me!
Let not that word befall dry lips,
Nor touch seduce these fingertips.
For what injustice there be served
By loyalties within me swerved?
Would you yet break my heart again,
To dare but say you loved me then?

To dare but say you love me still,
When love comes not by my free will...
Yet stands offered to one, impart,
Who holds love true and me in heart.
Dare you ask I forsake the touch
That needs the need of me so much?
When I hold all, (less love), now true,
As she loves me as I loved you.

Michael Anderson





[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 03-15-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Michael Anderson - All Rights Reserved
Nan
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since 05-20-99
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Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


1 posted 03-14-2000 09:01 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

This is a very intense work, my friend.. Remember that love knows no logic. "To thine own self be true," Michael.
Marina
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since 02-10-2000
Posts 2267
Pickering, Ontario


2 posted 03-14-2000 01:42 PM       View Profile for Marina   Email Marina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marina

I had re-read this several times Michael,I wanted to be sure to fully grasp the deep emotions going on here. I sense perhaps the tragedy in here as well as the "Not Trully Knowing" ones feelings. An excellent piece my friend...

Marina
Marilyn
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since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


3 posted 03-14-2000 02:36 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

I interpreted this differently then Marina, I think. I thought this was a poem about fighting the over whelming feelings of love because of a trust issue. You were hurt once by fate and though you still feel strongly you can not let yourself be hurt again. It is knowing and loving but not being able to trust. Am I wrong?
devina
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since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


4 posted 03-14-2000 02:44 PM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

This is deep Michael...I can tell you're very full of emotion right now...you've definantly got me with this one- I do believe I'm at a loss for words!!!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

X Angel
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since 11-07-1999
Posts 1592
Oregon


5 posted 03-14-2000 03:36 PM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for X Angel

Wow!  This was passionate and heart-rending Michael.   Wonderful, wonderful poetry my dear friend.
Much Love
~X~
Denise
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since 08-22-99
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6 posted 03-14-2000 03:50 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

This is very powerful and beautiful writing, Michael. Well done.

Denise
Corinne
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since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


7 posted 03-14-2000 04:04 PM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

Now there's the fighting spirit I like to see!

Letting go and moving on, very, very healthy!

Cor
Michael
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8 posted 03-14-2000 05:30 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Oh, jeeze...LOL

So as not to get into an in depth explanation of the poem, let's just say it's a poem about "not" choosing the past over the future.

Nan - always

Marina, the poem is trying to reflect moving forth from the tragedy. (Without looking back... or worse, returning to it).  The feelings are well known - if not readily accepted.

Marilyn, you are right.  This is very much reflective of the bitterness found when trust is broken, and yet the longing to be able to trust again.

Lady devina, there is much emotion within me, 'tis true.  I am focused where I need to be though, (closing the door to the past to move on to the future).  I know things will be much better there.    

X-Angel, "heart-rending", huh... well it's about time I returned you the favor don't ya think?      

Denise, I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

Corinne, You definately read it as was meant to be.  "Letting go and moving on". And yes, there is a very healthy aspect to it.  


Thank you all for the replies.


Michael




[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 03-14-2000).]
Dark Angel
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since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


9 posted 03-14-2000 05:49 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Oh Michael, this is so passionate, so very beautiful and deep. You've expressed yourself clearly. And so the healing begins...  

Excellent writing!  

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


Local Rebel
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since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


10 posted 03-14-2000 05:55 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

Yes, tis fruitless to pine for one who does not reciprocate... after all... that person is not the one we fell in love with... eh???

nice work
LittleBoyLost
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since 03-14-2000
Posts 29


11 posted 03-14-2000 08:04 PM       View Profile for LittleBoyLost   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LittleBoyLost

This would be much better if you fixed the meter and didn't try to force some of the rhymes.  Good subject though.  Thank you.
hoot_owl_rn
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since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


12 posted 03-14-2000 08:15 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Michael...this is a beautiful piece. I can see the healing in it, it is powerful, yet very sad. Nicely written  
Mistikman
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since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


13 posted 03-14-2000 08:17 PM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

^
|
Uhm, what they said   Excellent job Michael
Alwye
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since 06-16-99
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In the space between moments


14 posted 03-14-2000 09:58 PM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

Stunning and beautiful work, my friend. This is very passionate and filled with intense emotion.  Great work, as always.  

 *Krista Knutson*

I do this so this world will know that it will not change me....-GB

KimW
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since 03-04-2000
Posts 272
Medford, Oregon, USA


15 posted 03-14-2000 11:06 PM       View Profile for KimW   Email KimW   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit KimW's Home Page   View IP for KimW

A very powerful piece Michael and it is good to write, heal and to move forward.

Kim
Balladeer
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


16 posted 03-14-2000 11:20 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

WHOOA!! DOES THIS ONE HIT THE SPOT!! Excellent work, Michael. We should do anything for a person we once loved.....except love them again. I like your style.
Nicole
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since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


17 posted 03-14-2000 11:36 PM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

*sigh*  This is definately something I needed to read.

Thanks for making me think


 May I never be too busy to help another's load,
Then I'll be drinking from the saucer 'cause my cup has overflowed.

--Author Unknown
jbowie
Member
since 02-18-2000
Posts 137
BANGOR (that OR) ME


18 posted 03-14-2000 11:45 PM       View Profile for jbowie   Email jbowie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jbowie

beautiful phrasing and such good flow. How can you write with such meaning and style at the same time. Alot of us cheat and bend our poetry to suit us, but you seem to roll out such fluid forms with consistently well thought meaning. "physician, heal thyself"
seems to be part of what I am getting here, but who knows how many meanings can hide in your poetry.
WhtDove
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since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


19 posted 03-15-2000 12:47 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Michael I don't know what else to say except Extraordinary work!

 <*\\\><

There's only two ways you can go...
One way you can save your riches,
And the other will save your soul.
Rich Mullins
Michael
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since 08-13-99
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20 posted 03-15-2000 08:42 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Dark Angel, And so it has.  btw, I love Coleridge  

L.R., BINGO!!!

LittleBoyLost, First of all let me say wlecome to Passions.  I have not had the pleasure of reading your work as yet but I will surely look for it.  I agree with you 100% on the meter, that is always helpful for sure.  However, I am curious as to your definition of "forced rhyme".  I am always open to critiques on "form" but I am not sure I understand what your meaning is here. Please do clarify, if not here, feel free to email me anytime.

Ruth, from a tear to a sigh... from a sadness to new hope... Healing now, living & loving tomorrow.

hehe, Thanks Mistikman, glad you enjoyed.

Alwye, emotion is always intense - is it not?  Doesn't always have to be Dark though.

Kim W, very good, indeed.

Balladeer, I am humbled to get a "WHOOA!!" from you, 'tis a great honor.

Satiate, glad to get something ticking in your head...  Thinking is good, just don't over do it...  you might end up skitzed out like me.

jbowie, It's like any medicine.  You know it's good for you but sometimes you have to force yourself to take it.  You have a keen eye, my friend.

Rebecca, I am so glad you enjoyed it.


Thank you all for the kind replies.


Michael


  



[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 03-15-2000).]
LittleBoyLost
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since 03-14-2000
Posts 29


21 posted 03-15-2000 09:00 AM       View Profile for LittleBoyLost   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LittleBoyLost

I hope you didn't take offense.  All I meant was a few times it seemed you were rearranging your words in order to get your rhyme in the right place and other times the meter not sounding right made the rhyme seem a little off.  Please don't be offended because I liked the poem.  I re-read my comment and it didn't come out the way I meant it too.  That sometimes happens to me.  Sorry.

LBL
Michael
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since 08-13-99
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California


22 posted 03-15-2000 09:06 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

No offence was taken at all, LittleBoyLost.  I just wasn't really sure what you were meaning.  I try to be as "open minded" to critique as possible.  I can honestly say that "this" poem truly flowed from me - that left me in question of your remark.  In the "Window Pains" poem, I could definately see where I struggled a bit, though.  Thank you for your openness.


Michael
Elizabeth
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


23 posted 10-22-2000 03:10 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Look what I found digging around in here. Painful subject, but good work.

Elizabeth


You cling to your ways and leave mine to me.
Suum cuique.
~Elizabeth


Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


24 posted 11-08-2000 10:37 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

adding to library file
 
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