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MyPenNameIsSam
Member
since 2000-03-06
Posts 94
usa

0 posted 2000-03-13 11:54 PM


rough draft of course--just wrote this

Deathly Glazed Stare
3/13/00

Clenching my fists
Stomach knoting into a ball
The sickening feeling
Overwhelming me as I stare
     into space at the nothingness
     sitting on my wall

My vision is blurry
There's a ringing in my ears
My brain is throbbing
     and my temples pulse so strongly
     I feel my blood revolving

My hands clenched so tightly
     my nails begin to draw blood from my palms
Sweat stinging my eyes
My shirt drenched with this clammy feeling
     that covers my body

I shake
My eyes bloodshot
Tears locked behind my eyes
My nose drips
My mind aches
I feel myself in a daze

So sick of this town
I don't know what to do
Just a 21 year old girl
With nothing and everything to do

So tired of feeling
     this meaningless drone
Hating the routine
     of this day to day groan

Can't take this drooling,
     humdrum life
So tired of being stressed
     night after night

I need to move on
But I've no clue
     where to go
I must finish with school
     and continue with this brain-warping drool

Pushing buttons at work
Helping people that bitch
Being treated like sh**
Just a pathetic peon
     working at the bottom of the empire that pays
       me

Feeling trapped in this life
Don't know how to get out
I can hardly breathe
The suffocation of circumstances
     holds a  pillow over my face

SO DEATHLY SICK OF THIS HUMDRUM LIFE...

< !signature-->

 "One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time." -Andre Gide



[This message has been edited by MyPenNameIsSam (edited 03-14-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 molly - All Rights Reserved
mariee66
Senior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 596
Recess, OfYourMind
1 posted 2000-03-13 11:59 PM


My gosh~
I hope you were not writing about your life~
We all go through meaningless jobs when we are young... I've been there... I know~
Things will look up for you... believe that~
Take Care~
Marie~


 "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;
And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind." The Bard


MyPenNameIsSam
Member
since 2000-03-06
Posts 94
usa
2 posted 2000-03-14 01:12 AM


Mariee--of course I'm talking about my life...*laughs* but thanks for the words of encouragement.  I just feel so tired of my life sometimes,... the irritation of everything seems to go in cycles of lesser irritation to severe frustration, as I'm feeling right now.  But it's always helpful to hear words of encouragement.     Thank you.
-molly aka sam

 "One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time." -Andre Gide


Cerenity
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637
Escondido-California
3 posted 2000-03-14 09:52 AM


Hi Molly Dear,

You see the cute little guy up in the corner of my reply he's doing the jig, I want you to do the jig all around your house then I want you to go out side even if it is raining and do some more jiging. When things get taugh the tough get silly crazy and hopefully happy even if for a moment. Just a thought.

By the way I tryed to e-mail you back last week but your address didn't work????

Have fun,  Cerenity

Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
4 posted 2000-03-14 11:09 AM


Hi, frustrating situation to be in for sure.
May I suggest a plan, that lays out the details required for you to leave.  Must include money of course, a date, and details that must fall into place.  Then make that plan happen.  It could be the most exciting adventure of your life.  
I moved 2000 miles to Phoenix years ago on the flip of a coin.  East or West was the call.  I just wanted out of Arkansas and I didn't care which direction I went.  Most exciting time of my life.  Met wonderful people and they helped me with my career.
MAKE THE PLAN.  All life is a chance, just roll the dice and see what happens.
Did I mention that I am prone to impulse and such?  Oh well, .....
Good Luck!

MyPenNameIsSam
Member
since 2000-03-06
Posts 94
usa
5 posted 2000-03-14 11:44 PM


Cerenity--Thanks so much!     Your cheery note helped me start today out well before I had to head off to work again.     Greatly appreciated!!!
     And as far as the email thing--did you try to email me back at hotmail or prodigy?  B/c my prodigy account is all messed up and won't work and if you email me at my hotmail account make sure you send it to BlueGlassBrain@hotmail.com NOT BlueGRASSBrain!  Lot's of people make that mistake...other than that I'm not sure why it wouldn't have worked!

Danny--Thanks for your advice!   I'm planning on moving eventually but at the college that I'm going to right now I need to stay there for a little over one more semester and then I'll be able to transfer somewhere and ALL of my credits will transfer instead of just a few of them--it's some block-transfer thing that they do, otherwise I might move right now.  *sigh*  But thanks for the advice!  

-molly aka sam

 "One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time." -Andre Gide


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