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mete out
Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 270
england

0 posted 2000-03-13 07:36 AM



I feel as if this is my ultimate deadline,
That if I don't stop hurting now, I will hurt  
  forever,
These tears, these scars, this anger can no longer  
  pass for emotion;
They are weaknessess.
By now I should be in control of myself,
By now I should be able to smile.
All I feel is frustration at this pathetic excuse for writing,
Why has it left me?
I am engulfed by pain and fear-
But in a time when all I should feel is joy and
  comfort.
I feel like I'm leaning on you too hard,
But I don't want to tell you for fear that you'll  
  agree
And pull me off and let me drop.
I'm so scared of hurting you.
I can't bear the thought of being the weight on
  your shoulders,
Or of being the one who holds you back.
I want to, need to, HAVE to get through this ,
But, again, I am scared; of what I will become,
Will I be me if this pain lessens?
Will I be me if these scars fade?
Will I be me if I feel,(dare I say it), content?

This is it.
If I make this milestone I can be here for you as
  you have been for me,
But if I don't
I might as well say goodbye,
Because being with me will be a walking nightmare,
I'll be a disease you wish you could leave far below,

But I will try (not cry),
And with you by my side,
I will make it.
< !signature-->

 I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.


[This message has been edited by mete out (edited 03-13-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Louise Parsons - All Rights Reserved
AnthonyEV1
Junior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 17
St. Charles, IL, USA
1 posted 2000-03-13 08:48 AM


That was a good poem, a sad one, but still good. You have defenatly not lost your touch for writting, I can tell you that right now. And I'm sure anyone else that reads your poetry feels the same. ((gives you a hug)) I hope everything going on in your life gets better for you.

 Just can't live that negative way...make way for the positive day"-Bob Marley.

"When the rain falls, it doesnt just fall on one man"-Bob Marley.

"" - Bob Marley

Enola
Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 138
England
2 posted 2000-03-13 10:19 AM


I really don't know what to say, every poem of yours I read contains the same brutal honesty and excellent expression, which is why your work is so compelling.  The last stanza is probably the most truthful.  

 The tragedy of it is that nobody sees the look of desperation on my face. Thousands and thousands of us, and we're passing one another without a look of recognition.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
3 posted 2000-03-13 10:32 AM


Oh, this is so sad  
mete out
Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 270
england
4 posted 2000-03-13 11:54 AM


***Anthony,
Thankyou for your words.
It helps to know I have friends here.    

***Enola,
Everything you say about my poetry is what I think of yours.
Your replies always brighten my day as you seem to delve so deep.
Thankyou.   :þ

*Hoot,
It is true, this poem is sad, but know that writing is an invaluable aide.
Thanks for your support.    



 I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.

infinat3 sadn3ss
Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 85
somerset england
5 posted 2000-03-13 03:25 PM


boo(hi and hello is boring)

"the wonders never cease"with you lou.today i have been thinking the same thing today(if i start to be happy,do i have the right to feel i am me?)i think that the answer is that we have every right to be bloody happy . after all ,weve both felt so bad for so long .i am so proud to be able to call you my friend . you understand me and everything i feel so much more than anyone else i have ever known.
i thought of an ace quote today:
"were off to see the wizard,the wonderfull wizard of oz" . maybe one day we will be .
love eternal
cabes

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
6 posted 2000-03-13 10:32 PM


As I read this I began to wonder when I had left the door to my soul open....You echo so many of the thoughts that run through my mind especially right now...today in fact.  I'm stunned and I'm touched by the words that I understand so well.  I used to curse the people that made me who I am today but now I wonder who I would be if I let it all go a scary realization.  Thank you for sharing your words of truth.
mete out
Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 270
england
7 posted 2000-03-15 09:18 AM


***Cabes,
Your words are always so touching.
It is me who should be proud to know you...you really have been an inspiration to me Cable, the best friend a girl (or boy, or dog, or pot of jam) could ever have.
Thankyou so much Cabey.
Love Lou xxx  
p.s....we WILL meet the wizard...!

***Butterflies,
It brings me great comfort to know that you share my feelings and can relate to my words.
I too used to regret the way people changed my life, seemingly for the worse, but, looking back on it, I probably would never have started writing if I didn't feel so bad, and if that were the case I would never have come across such beautiful people such as yourself.
Thanks for your support, Lou.

 I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.

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