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Open Poetry #6
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My Pathetic Pantoum
| Open Poetry #6 |
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My Pathetic Pantoum |
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Bang New Member
since 2000-03-13
Posts 6 |
My Pathetic Pantoum There is no such thing as happy. There is no such thing as fair. There is no such thing as faith. There is only great despair. There is no such thing as fair. It's a long, sad life we lead. There is only great despair. It's a life of aching need. It's a long, sad life we lead. Empty of all that we know is right. It's a life of aching need. Empty memories told me tight. Empty of all that we know is right. There is a sad look in his eyes. Empty memories told me tight. Just a sad look in his eyes. There is a sad look in his eyes. There is only great despair. Just a sad look in his eyes. There is no such thing as fair. There is only great despair. There is no such thing as faith. There is no such thing as fair. There is no such thing as happy. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Bang - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Pantoum, my favourite ! Sad but very clever ! I like how you use the 2nd & 4th line in your first stanze again in your 5th stanza to make the last stanza complete again. Very clever. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Bang~ I see nothing 'pathetic' here. Sad perhaps ... but not 'pathetic'. I admire the talent it takes to do one of these. Someday I just have to give it a try. (not today)  Nice work. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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EagleScorpion Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644Here, Now, Forever |
Magnificent! Yet, for the sake of this world, I have to disagree with you, I feel there is a constant balance between good and evil, and reading your poem, it put the idea of the pentagram weighing heavier than the cross, and that cant be. I feel happy and faithful, and I'm sure you do likewise. There is a god up there, and he's reading too, by the way. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Welcome to the family! Please check your email...  |
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Bang New Member
since 2000-03-13
Posts 6 |
Thank you all for your kind and generous comments. Bang |
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