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Passions in Poetry

My Pathetic Pantoum

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Bang
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since 03-13-2000
[First Post] 6


0 posted 03-13-2000 03:20 AM       View Profile for Bang   Email Bang   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bang

My Pathetic Pantoum

There is no such thing as happy.
There is no such thing as fair.
There is no such thing as faith.
There is only great despair.

There is no such thing as fair.
It's a long, sad life we lead.
There is only great despair.
It's a life of aching need.

It's a long, sad life we lead.
Empty of all that we know is right.
It's a life of aching need.
Empty memories told me tight.

Empty of all that we know is right.
There is a sad look in his eyes.
Empty memories told me tight.
Just a sad look in his eyes.

There is a sad look in his eyes.
There is only great despair.
Just a sad look in his eyes.
There is no such thing as fair.

There is only great despair.
There is no such thing as faith.
There is no such thing as fair.
There is no such thing as happy.


© Copyright 2000 Bang - All Rights Reserved
Munda
Member Elite
since 10-08-1999
Posts 3629
The Hague, The Netherlands


1 posted 03-13-2000 06:38 AM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda

Pantoum, my favourite ! Sad but very clever !
I like how you use the 2nd & 4th line in your first stanze again in your 5th stanza to make the last stanza complete again. Very clever.
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
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2 posted 03-13-2000 08:10 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Bang~
I see nothing 'pathetic' here.
Sad perhaps ... but not 'pathetic'.
I admire the talent it takes to do one of these.  Someday I just have to give it a try.
(not today)
Nice work.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

EagleScorpion
Senior Member
since 03-08-2000
Posts 1705
Here, Now, Forever


3 posted 03-13-2000 12:27 PM       View Profile for EagleScorpion   Email EagleScorpion   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for EagleScorpion

Magnificent! Yet, for the sake of this world, I have to disagree with you, I feel there is a constant balance between good and evil, and reading your poem, it put the idea of the pentagram weighing heavier than the cross, and that cant be. I feel happy and faithful, and I'm sure you do likewise. There is a god up there, and he's reading too, by the way.
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
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4 posted 03-13-2000 07:38 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Welcome to the family! Please check your email...  
Bang
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since 03-13-2000
Posts 6


5 posted 03-13-2000 09:19 PM       View Profile for Bang   Email Bang   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bang

Thank you all for your kind and generous comments.

Bang
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