navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #6 » Conception Of The Whore
Open Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic Conception Of The Whore Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2000-03-13 03:18 AM


What is this word that I have heard
so casual, in conversation?
Want to know the truth of it,
the sickening revelation?

Virgin sacrifice--rusty shed--
tender age of seven.
A tiny, tasty morsel,
a bit of bread, unleavened.
An offering to Satan
wicked in his grin
(again and again and again...)
Lines of friendship?  Wires crossed?
(The serpent is subtile, my obtuse friend.)
An understatement.  CRIMINAL.
Satan shrugged and walked away.
Echoes of his laughter taunting me today.

A guilty child, alone to bear
burden of The Secret Sin.
(again and again and again...)
struck nearly mute, blind in refute,
the Way Out, for me was In...
an ocean in a bottle...
haystack in a needle...
it seemed to me a simple grace
to stop the pain, un-feel the feeling.

At fourteen, we met, yet again,
Satan and three minions.
After that, I cared not
of any man's opinion.
Bloodied to unconsciousness,
tossed into the river,
they thought me dead--
and so i am, still to be delivered.

     Life and water,
     hate and death--
     ugly catechism...
     wretched absolution--Lucifer's baptism.

At twenty-three he tackled me
on a shadowed, dim-lit street.
Before I knew that it was he
I felt him enter me.

All the earth herself was shaken
as i felt myself forsaken.
Something snapped within myself--
for i would NOT be taken.
That night i gave it all away--
i met him, beat-for-beat.
My soul caved in, i met his grin
as he spat into my face.
(Once again, no proper end,
    he simply walked away...)

So do not feed me "metaphor",
a hurtful gift of Lamentation.
All i did was simply live
up to expectation.

So forgive me when the white horse calls--
forgive me if i graze.
Forgive me if the sun's so bright
I retreat into the haze.
Forgive me for my broken heart.
Forgive me when I cry.
Tears are all I have sometimes
to prove I'm still alive.

© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Shelley
Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 263
Ohio, USA
1 posted 2000-03-13 03:38 AM


I honestly don't know what to say, except you have nothing to ask forgiveness for.

Tears have to be one of the top gifts we were given.

I love the way this is written, no mistaking the emotion here.

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

2 posted 2000-03-13 05:05 AM


Overwhelmingly powerful, Serenity.

Stumped for words except perhaps to say...excellent writing and tears are something we often take for granted until we lose the ability to shed them. (I know that well).

K

 'Writing sharpens life;
life enriches writing'
Sylvia Plath

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
3 posted 2000-03-13 10:38 AM


I'm speachless........this was very powerful.

Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
4 posted 2000-03-13 11:50 AM


Powerful work you have written.  Excellent imagery and emotion in this sad piece.
The expression was good as well. "Tears are all I have to prove I'm still alive".  
I have other feelings about this that I can't express here.  
Remarkable indeed.



Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
5 posted 2000-03-13 06:49 PM


We can look back on our own lives and point at the bad times ... some things we try to forget and others we can't ... most of us have things we try to hide, but what you have described here is far worse than a recuring nightmare
Apparently you have managed to hang on to your sanity and I hope you also have some happy times to look back on
At best I can only offer a prayer for your future peace and ... serenity

Rex

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2000-03-13 07:06 PM


serenity...
this poem is so exceptionally well expressed...It just literally takes my words...its reasons move me deeply...
i am at a loss to tell you...
take care, jm

 Now for me some words come easy
But I know that they don't mean that much
Compared with the things that are said when lovers touch
You never knew what I loved in you
I don't know what you loved in me
Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be
jackson browne



Deb Lynne
Member
since 1999-08-19
Posts 180
Where blue skies meet blue ocean
7 posted 2000-03-13 07:09 PM


Sad, strong & touching.  God bless!
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

8 posted 2000-03-13 07:46 PM


Excellent poem, Serenity, about painful experiences. You have expressed the pain well in this.

Denise

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
9 posted 2000-03-13 10:01 PM


Serenity~
This is so powerful, honey.
You've shown great courage in this piece.
I so admire that courage.
You live. You feel. You cry ... and that is more than I can say for some who don't see the truths in themselves.  
This piece proves you are alive ... and the tears are shared with friends.
Remarkable, Serenity.
~*Marge*~



 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
10 posted 2000-03-13 10:14 PM


It is very powerful work you have here. And Serenity it wasn't your fault and you have nothing to apologize for.

Elizabeth

 "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!"
-The Crucible


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
11 posted 2000-03-13 10:15 PM


The power in this poem is beyond question...I would like to address the presentation of it. This poem is nearly flawless in its execution....brilliantly done. To take the things you wanted to say and present them in the way you have (making it look easy, btw)is the mark of an excellent writer. My admiration of it, and you, is very high. Well done.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

12 posted 2000-03-13 10:54 PM


My most profound and humble thanks to all.
Not something that I usually would share,
but i feel that it is important to share even
the ugliness of our lives...who knows maybe somebody, somewhere will read this and be able to talk about it.  And please, rest assured, I am okay.  I have come to terms with it.  And besides, NOT being alright really sucks.  I WIN THE FINAL ROUND!!!

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
13 posted 2000-03-13 10:58 PM


This was the most emotion provoking piece I've ever read my dear "sis"...I know you feel better letting it out...pain and courage...this will never cease to be great!!!
love you,
Devina

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

spiked
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873
Hammond, La USA
14 posted 2000-03-13 11:23 PM


Strong words.
Sometimes a word used to express one thought can be viewed differently in the eyes of another having a completely different meaning than that of the originator.
Be strong for you know we are friends and I am there even through tough times.
Just need our minds to be on the same page.
You've outdone yourself with this one SOMEONE must have struck a very deep chord even if it were by accident.
Keep up the great work. You should write more than you have lately.

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
15 posted 2000-03-14 12:18 PM


Exorcising our demons is painful, but
also very, very healthy.

It is only then we can put them behind us.

Corinne

MyPenNameIsSam
Member
since 2000-03-06
Posts 94
usa
16 posted 2000-03-14 12:42 PM


Dear Serenity,
     There's no need to ask forgiveness from anyone...  It's so difficult to go on with one's life after these things happen and it's so difficult for others to understand what you're feeling when you feel that you can't tell them...but that doesn't mean that you must ask forgiveness.  Perhaps it helps you to forgive yourself by asking others forgiveness even though it's not necessary...or helps you forgive what has happened (even though that's probably mostly impossible) and in that case it's okay to ask forgiveness, but know that aside from helping yourself, this forgiveness that you ask for is unneccessary...(does this make sense?  i'm not sure if I wrote it so others can comprehend what i'm trying to say)
     I'm glad you've been able to put this behind you as you've said... but I know it still haunts you at times -- know that I send you love and light for these times and I'm sorry that these things happened to you.
love,
molly aka sam

 "One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time." -Andre Gide


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #6 » Conception Of The Whore

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary