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Passions in Poetry

I Saw Stars

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Michael
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Member Rara Avis
since 08-13-99
Posts 7003
California


0 posted 03-10-2000 09:49 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Michael

I SAW STARS

I walked outside last night,
Saw stars across the skies.
Heaven was opened bright,
Very much to my surprise.

First time in thirty days,
I could feel that yearning.
That leaves the eyes aglaze,
The heart open and burning.

The clouds had finally broken
Revealing the crescent moon.
To free the wish unspoken
To the stars brilliantly strewn.

A spectacle aslope,
Set to ease a timeless sorrow.
A billion glints of Hope
I might see the sun tomorrow.

Where by God's guiding hand,
Or but wistful Fate, agleam,
Last night I saw stars and...
I remembered how to dream.


Michael Anderson






[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 03-10-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Michael Anderson - All Rights Reserved
Marilyn
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since 09-26-1999
Posts 2660
Ontario, Canada


1 posted 03-10-2000 10:05 AM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

It is amazing how the weather can effect our emotional state. When I can see the stars and feel the sunshine on my face, I am lightened. When the clouds cover the sky and it is dark for days, my mood falls into the depths. Spring is almost here and I praise it's arrival. Well written and I am glad you can see the possiblity of dreams again. Bravo my friend.  
Lost Dreamer
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since 06-20-99
Posts 2589
Normal, Illinois


2 posted 03-10-2000 10:23 AM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

Michael, This is beautiful, and gives me a breath of fresh air to know things are getting better.
devina
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since 10-28-1999
Posts 3599
Northern Cali


3 posted 03-10-2000 12:11 PM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

Now I'm jealous Michael, I've been working so much that I haven't had a chance to stargaze....*sigh* I'll have to make a point to do that tonight...scince you've gone and inspired me and all!!!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11106
Glen Hope, PA USA


4 posted 03-10-2000 12:14 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Michael...it's nice to be able to dream once more isn't it. The numbness is wearing off now and the senses have now started to come back to life. Enjoy the newness of things my friend and enjoy life once more  
PoeticKnight
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since 01-20-2000
Posts 1151
New Orleans, LA


5 posted 03-10-2000 12:31 PM       View Profile for PoeticKnight   Email PoeticKnight   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PoeticKnight

I liked this stanza...
The clouds had finally broken
Revealing the crescent moon.
To free the wish unspoken
To the stars brilliantly strewn.

I was out late last night and saw that same crescent moon here in new orleans. I almost wrote a poem too, but drinks kept coming...yadda yadda yadda....

I always like your poems like everyone else here too.

Poeminister
Senior Member
since 02-26-2000
Posts 1868
Regina SK; Canada


6 posted 03-10-2000 02:00 PM       View Profile for Poeminister   Email Poeminister   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Poeminister's Home Page   View IP for Poeminister

Dear Micheal

This is a lovely poem.  It's always beautiful to go outside and to virtually loose conciousness of body situation by staring into the night sky letting our minds leap away absorbed in the beauty...keeping dreaming always...

Poeminister

 "...no single sound too rude
Upon thy slumber shall intrude,
Our thoughts, our souls- O God above!
In every deed shall mingle, love."
--Edgar Allan Poe (from Serenade)


Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25881
Hurricane Alley


7 posted 03-10-2000 02:07 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

I saw the title and expected to read that someone smacked you! LOL

Seriously, this is a lovely poem. It's as clear as the night sky that you witnessed. As lovely as the stars you viewed. And as hopeful as your wish...good one!
StarrGazer
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since 03-05-2000
Posts 696
Texas


8 posted 03-10-2000 02:28 PM       View Profile for StarrGazer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for StarrGazer

wow my two favorite things stars and poetry, not to mention your almost magical way with words so beautiful  

 ~*Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear*~


angel girl
Member
since 07-23-99
Posts 329
within a whisper...


9 posted 03-10-2000 03:58 PM       View Profile for angel girl   Email angel girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for angel girl

How can you write so good and so much as
well? Anyways, this is really good. Your
words paint a beautiful picture.


[This message has been edited by angel girl (edited 03-10-2000).]
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


10 posted 03-10-2000 04:11 PM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Stars are beautiful, aren't they?  Glad you're seeing some too.  My email is down, has been all morning, says they're upgrading, HA!  I'll leave you a note tonight, as I'm leaving town - and actually heading your way!  No joke!  I have family there, and am visiting them. Thought I'd drop in on you and Chris this weekend, but I think nah...    Will be in touch before I go.   Gen
Pepper
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since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
11 posted 03-10-2000 06:02 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

Brilliant poetry, Michael
What a perfect source of wonder and hope, the night sky.
What a perfect poem from an amazing poet
We marveled at the same crescent moon here in Flodida last night
Pepper and Liz
Diana B
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since 03-10-2000
Posts 99


12 posted 03-10-2000 06:06 PM       View Profile for Diana B   Email Diana B   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Diana B

so very sensitive...i loved a "billion glints of hope" nice read  
A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 09-03-99
Posts 5497
Forever In Your Heart


13 posted 03-10-2000 07:36 PM       View Profile for A Romantic Heart   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for A Romantic Heart

Not only the sun, but the stars are shinning on you too!!!!Glad to hear your soul is healing! I loved the poem as always!!!!

 "Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O,no! it is an ever-fixed mark....William Shakespeare

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


14 posted 03-10-2000 07:42 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Michael~

'Last night I saw stars and ...
I remembered how to dream.'

I smile  
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


15 posted 03-10-2000 07:52 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

It's like breaking a fever, isn't it?  So
incredibly happy for you!
bboog
Member
since 02-29-2000
Posts 307
Valencia, California


16 posted 03-10-2000 07:57 PM       View Profile for bboog   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit bboog's Home Page   View IP for bboog

Michael: I'm new here so don't hate me for what I'm going to say, simply that I think this one is good, but could use another rewrite. Currently, for example, the first stanza reads:
I walked outside last night,
Saw stars across the skies.
Heaven was opened bright,
Very much to my surprise
I think it might be better if it went something like:

I walked outside last night,
Nothing was going right,
Very much to my surprise
Saw stars across the skies.

the other stanza that didn't seem to fit was this one:

A spectacle aslope,
Set to ease a timeless sorrow.
A billion glints of Hope
I might see the sun tomorrow.

Perhaps it's just me, but the word "aslope" seems out of place. "A billion glints of hope" is ok, but then the very last line, "I remembered how to dream" seems (to me) out of touch. "I had a feeling that what is wanting in my life is going to happen" is (I think) what you want to say, which brings the speaker back to hope. "I wished upon a dream?" I don't know if this makes sense to you at all, but it's meant to make you think about the poem, not you.
best regards,
bboog

Nan
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Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24463
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


17 posted 03-10-2000 08:22 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

...and there's no stopping you now, is there??
Aimster
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since 02-19-2000
Posts 4374
Charlotte, NC


18 posted 03-10-2000 08:36 PM       View Profile for Aimster   Email Aimster   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aimster

Michael

Beautiful simply beauiful. I am so happy that things are starting to look up for you. As always I wish you nothing but lots of happiness. Take care.

AMY  
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


19 posted 03-10-2000 08:37 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

See, what he forgot to tell everyone, is that since he lives so close to Hollywood, the stars he saw were the two legged kind! His dreams are of being with Pam Anderson! That's the star he saw!
Good Mike!  
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26423
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


20 posted 03-10-2000 09:56 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Michael, I'm really glad to see that the clouds have dissipated and skies are once again clear.....ah, the wonder of time. Nice writing.
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-13-99
Posts 7003
California


21 posted 03-10-2000 10:03 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Marilyn, it is amazing...last night was like the lifting of a veil.  (I was wondering though if perhaps it was my mood having effect on the weather - been some thirty days of rain and clouds)...Coincidence?

Gloria, me too...

devina, Glad I could be the one inspiring you for a change...  

Rith, you are so right about the senses...like having a complete body cast removed.

JML, drink one for me next time...and I'll write you another poem.

Poeminister, 'twas like staring straight through to heaven last...my poem does little justice to the feeling.

PdV...Yeah I had Rogger Rabbit images going through my head when I titled it...LOL For all intents and purposes, something did smack me last night.    

Starrgazer - two of my favorites as well...they can make quite the combo.

angel girl, I don't know what compells my pen...it's gotta be gettin' low on ink I would think...

Gen, the stars are very special for me.  Did you know that some of the stars we see actually have burned out many years ago?  They just shined so bright that we still can catch the essance. I just wonder if one as such can still catch our wishes...

Pepper, oh to be able to see that moon - and the stars so clearly too - was an incredible muse...glad you caught a glimpse too.

Diana B, glad you enjoyed.

A Romantic Heart, The sun was shining today. Ah, yes - "healing" is good...

Marge     Right back at ya...

serenity, indeed...a very apt description.

Nan - No way at all...

Aimster - How was your trip?  I am so glad to see you've come back.  Thank you.

Chris, you're exactly right - 'twas like a billion Pamela Andersons...now you know why I can't get that smile off my face...LOL

bboog, I don't normally care to justify my poetry to anybody - but I feel a special need in this case...I will give you a reply in just a bit.


That you each and all for the kind replies.


Michael



[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 03-10-2000).]
Deb Lynne
Member
since 08-19-99
Posts 181
Where blue skies meet blue oce


22 posted 03-10-2000 10:32 PM       View Profile for Deb Lynne   Email Deb Lynne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Deb Lynne

Michael, you write what is in your heart & it is always beautiful.  Whether it "sounds better this way or that" doesn't matter.  It's how it makes you feel just to write it.  Write on, my friend, and we'll keep reading!
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-13-99
Posts 7003
California


23 posted 03-10-2000 10:41 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

bboog

you would have me change the first stanza to:

I walked outside last night,
Nothing was going right,
Very much to my surprise
Saw stars across the skies.

from:

I walked outside last night,
Saw stars across the skies.
Heaven was opened bright,
Very much to my surprise.

A. "Nothing was going right," has nothing to do with the poem or my mood as it stood last night.  That is purely an accessment on your part.  

B. I don't know if my referance to "heaven" offends you in some way, but the view I caught last night was a glimpse of heaven for me - they don't come very often in this smog filled town I live in...

C.  You're changing the rhyme scheme and in all truthfullness - that's not very poetic to me...  If you are gonna offer critique, that is fine in my book and always apppreciated, but at least take as much care in your offering as I have in preparing the poem.

Now then, you have a problem with the word "aslope" - well does the universe not refract before us... I wasn't staring at a "flat" portrait but a vast sloping universe last night - I truly don't know why this word seems out of place to you.

O.K. In regards to your comment:

("I remembered how to dream" seems (to me) out of touch. "I had a feeling that what is wanting in my life is going to happen" is (I think) what you want to say, which brings the speaker back to hope. "I wished upon a dream?" I don't know if this makes sense to you at all, but it's meant to make you think about the poem, not you).

There was nothing wanting in my life before last night - thus no dream.  Again you assume.  So I'm not really sure where you come up with me "wishing on a dream."  Just to catch the stars so brilliantly as they were displayed last night, (after some thirty days of not seeing a one) was hope that maybe I might see the sun tomorrrow  - literally, if not metaphorically.  Therein where nothing was "wanting" in my life before (and I was cold) - maybe I would feel the sun tomorrow, again - literally, if not metaphorically.  

I hope I have clarified your questions a little.  I might also add that you being new here might not catch half of the "neccessary" poetic refrerances I place in any of my poems.  If one were to take the time to read through my works - you would find my poetry is like an interlocking jigsaw puzzle - with many titles and key phrazes referred to within the whole structure.  To fully grasp this piece, there are at least three other poems I made direct referance to and lest you were someone I wrote those poems to personally, I would not expect you to catch them, nor undersatnd them.  That is the beauty of poetic liscense, is it not?


Thank you,

Michael
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2660
Ontario, Canada


24 posted 03-10-2000 10:44 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Coincidence Michael? I believe there are few things in this life that are coincidence. There is always a reason and a purpose even if we do not see it.   The weather turned cold and dark here today. Freezing rain and some snow. (I wonder if that is why my heart feels so chilled tonight?)
 
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