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 please read, help me with a title. =)
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Passions in Poetry

please read, help me with a title. =)

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Travis
Junior Member
since 06-14-99
Posts 18


0 posted 03-10-2000 01:27 AM       View Profile for Travis   Email Travis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Travis's Home Page   View IP for Travis


Can you see what lies beneath...
The disguise and mask I wear?
Daily I dress in this fašade,
For it hides the sadness there.

Hides the tears that never end,
Covers my body as it trembles with fear.
Fear that my love has left forever,
Stolen from me, the last which is dear.

The cloak wears heavy upon me,
Symbolic of the burden I bear.
So full in length, it wraps my chest,
Hiding the scars that I must wear.

So it is, behind the disguise and mask.
The handsome physique, you will not see.
But of a broken man, forever cursed,
By the only woman so loved by he.


Travis

© Copyright 2000 Travis - All Rights Reserved
Enola
Member
since 02-11-2000
Posts 138
England


1 posted 03-10-2000 09:13 AM       View Profile for Enola   Email Enola   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enola

I know the feeling all too well.  I know the saying is such a cliche, but time heals all wounds - and in your case will peel off the mask you hide behind.  Have faith, keep writing and life will get better, I promise.  It's taken me almost seven months now, but every day is better than the last.  

 The tragedy of it is that nobody sees the look of desperation on my face. Thousands and thousands of us, and we're passing one another without a look of recognition.
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


2 posted 03-10-2000 09:19 AM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

How about Cloak of Loss?  Or Love Love?

And, there is more love out there, my friend, to be found, once you let go of lost love.
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


3 posted 03-10-2000 09:31 AM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Beautifully done. I feel your pain as well as my own in this piece. As for a title...Beneath the Mask or Cloaked. Titled escape me at times as well.  
StarrGazer
Senior Member
since 03-05-2000
Posts 696
Texas


4 posted 03-10-2000 04:08 PM       View Profile for StarrGazer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for StarrGazer

very nice  




 ~*Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear*~


First__Knight
Senior Member
since 11-08-1999
Posts 688


5 posted 03-10-2000 07:49 PM       View Profile for First__Knight   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for First__Knight

Very nice in the writing.....All have had good titles.........Here is mine.....maybe call it.  "Under the Surface"

 There are two kinds of pedestrians...the quick and the dead. Drive it like you stole it.

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


6 posted 03-10-2000 08:14 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Travis~

First of all ... this is
a haunting piece of work.
You do not cloak the hurt so well.

I would suggest the title of:
'So Loved By He'
for I see beyond the mask.
~*Marge*~




 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

 
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