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Passions in Poetry

The Dark One's Wish List

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EagleScorpion
Senior Member
since 03-08-2000
Posts 1705
Here, Now, Forever


0 posted 03-10-2000 12:16 AM       View Profile for EagleScorpion   Email EagleScorpion   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for EagleScorpion

The Dark One's Wish List

Faded memories, forgotten goals,
Unsatisfied hearts, forsaken souls,
Blind old men, neglected tears,
Wasted potential, savage fears,
Chemical dependancy, biblical discrepancy,
Corrupt hypocracy, utter insanity,
Mass scuicide, global genocide,
In Satan, a sadly some confide,
Black magic, obsession so tragic,
Political stability so erratic,
Marijuana tokers, crack smokers,
Society's pitiful isolated jokers,
Overpopulation, quartered rations,
All a product of procrastination,
Bitter hope, hooked on dope,
End of the rope, trying to cope,
Nuclear war, battle planes soar,
Whats this life for? Armageddon's roar,
Stinking death, passion bereft,
Rampant theft, nothing shall be left,
Ashes to ashes, eleven bells, fallen angels,
This world goes to hell.

© Copyright 2000 Joseph Alexander Knob - All Rights Reserved
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


1 posted 03-10-2000 12:47 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Hi, E.S.

I was intrigued at how you managed to rhythmically place and rhyme words that are usually unrhymable. That's a cool feat. One small gripe; this poem is too message-heavy. The best way to give a message is with strong images that speak for themselves, not prejudgments and condemnations (though those can be good in moderation). Either way, I loved the complex rhythms of this piece.

Mike
Mistikman
Senior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


2 posted 03-10-2000 01:13 AM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

Oooh, this is wonderful. I love the flow of this one, almost chanting   Keep up the good work.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


3 posted 03-11-2000 08:12 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

This is a clever poem...well done. Welcome to passions  
tracie66
Member Elite
since 01-18-2000
Posts 4587
Victoria, Australia


4 posted 03-11-2000 10:38 PM       View Profile for tracie66   Email tracie66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tracie66's Home Page   View IP for tracie66



Nice one
this was a fantastic read, I loved it
You have done well
Welcome to passions



 Keep all the windows of your mind open
Anne Rooks
 
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