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Passions in Poetry

- Sucking Seawater Sucks -

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poetFemmeFatale
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since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


0 posted 03-09-2000 07:02 PM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

~  Sucking Seawater Sucks ~



When life deals me a crappy hand
I stick my head down in the sand
I tell the seagulls I'm okay -
and they squawk back, "No freakin' way!"

I've always had to be real strong
Just shirk it off when things go wrong
But I'm not feeling strong no more -
I'm headed for the nearest shore!

When I get there, I'm jumpin' in
A concrete block tied to my limb  (ankle didn't rhyme)
Saltwater burns, I must admit -
But right now I don't give a .....er......crap!    

It burns my nose, my throat, my eyes
And suddenly - I realize...
My situation wasn't bleak
Till I went on this "deathwish" streak!

I flail about - I'm sinking now
I must untie that knot somehow!
I'm sucking in - seawater fast
I don't know if I'm gonna last !!

...Blurble...blurble.....Bloop!

I see you as I gasp for air
You wave & shuck your underwear
You reach me in the nick of time - -

SIGH...

You want my towel?
Too bad - it's MINE!

(Batting eyes & dangling his undies in the air! )  


Yeah, I know - rediculous waste of ink...I'm putting my pen down now, and am gonna go rearrange my shoes or something more constructive....sigh.  Thank you hero!  


signed - flailingFemmeFatale
March 9, 2000

© Copyright 2000 Gennifer David - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


1 posted 03-09-2000 07:27 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Ah, never a dull moment with you around! Cute poem..though I was worried at first..then realized that the 'unsinkable FemmeFatale' would find a way out of this! Good job!  
Sven
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since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


2 posted 03-09-2000 10:40 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

Come on Femme. . . I know that it CAN'T be all that bad, can it?

This was fun just the same. . .

----------------------------------------------

 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

poetFemmeFatale
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since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


3 posted 03-09-2000 10:45 PM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

hehe  Yeah, you said THAT right!  I too have felt like that woman in Titanic...what's her name?  The Unsinkable Molly somebody?  LOL  It's so funny you should say that!  hehe  Much of my inspiration has come from that movie of late!     Glad you liked...will take a strange crowd to welcome this er.....poem!   Got tired of being so serious today!  Thanks PdV....you've always liked my weird side.

 ** I'm reaching for the brightest star I've ever seen - knock my ladder out from under me, and you'll wish you hadn't !! -pFF ** Here's to 2000!
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


4 posted 03-09-2000 10:45 PM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Oopps...got a little carried away on the Submit button....(drumming fingers in impatience!)  LOL

Sven - -  Well, it could be BETTER!  (sticking tongue out atcha! )

[This message has been edited by poetFemmeFatale (edited 03-09-2000).]
bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


5 posted 03-10-2000 12:51 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Hi pFF (I'm laaaaazy).

I enjoyed this poem -- fun to read. What I didn't believe though, was any actual desperation of the character. It seemed candy-coated, meant for a laugh, not reflection. And I think that's what you were going for anyway, so I can't complain too much. Just a little.  

Mike
RSEvans
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since 10-23-1999
Posts 1187
Tulsa, OK, USA


6 posted 03-10-2000 06:44 AM       View Profile for RSEvans   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RSEvans

###throwing pFF a dingy...### see you on the shore sis!
Danny Holloway
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since 01-15-2000
Posts 2072
Tulsa, OK


7 posted 03-10-2000 11:58 AM       View Profile for Danny Holloway   Email Danny Holloway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Danny Holloway

I'm there to give you CPR (mouth to mouth) and to help you out of those wet clothes.
Can't let a lovely lady as yourself take the deep six!
Next time your headed for the nearest shore, give a shout.  Fun in the sand you know.
 
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