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Open Poetry #6
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pmc
Junior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 48
Germany

0 posted 2000-03-09 10:30 AM



A Kosovan Tale.


He stood beside his Father
as we burst into his home.
He had his chance to run,
but he wouldn't go alone.

He stood beside his Father
though we beat him with a gun,
He tried his best to fight.
I couldn't make him run.

He stood beside his Father
as we pushed him to the wall
His legs gave way beneath him
and yet he didn't fall.

He stood beside his Father
when he knew they were to die.
Tears were in his eyes
and still he didn't cry.

He stood beside his Father
in the house where he was born.
He died beside his father.
We buried them at dawn.


Patrick McFadden
21 June 1999


© Copyright 2000 Patrick McFadden - All Rights Reserved
Ted Reynolds
Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331

1 posted 2000-03-09 12:51 PM


This poem has the impact of a bullet in my chest.  I think I will be weeping for a while.
RSEvans
Senior Member
since 1999-10-23
Posts 1147
Tulsa, OK, USA
2 posted 2000-03-09 12:58 PM


ouch!  This strikes close to the bone.  Such a simple poem, but what an impact!  Kudos to you poet for stirring that within us.
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
3 posted 2000-03-09 01:01 PM


Magnificent tale. Welcome to the family! I love this poem because I can feel it! Please check your email!  

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2000-03-09 01:39 PM


PMC~
Stirring.

Welcome to Passion's.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2000-03-09 04:16 PM


This is a very interesting and a well written poem.  Could you please tell me a little bit more of the background behind this poem.  My son was stationed in Albania for a period of time during this conflict which is actually still in progress so I followed the events with interest.   James
Elizabeth
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Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
6 posted 2000-03-09 05:10 PM


Welcome Pat! It is nice to have you here, and what a post for your first one!

Elizabeth

 "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!"
-The Crucible


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2000-03-09 07:32 PM


Wow!  This hurt my heart.
pmc
Junior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 48
Germany
8 posted 2000-03-10 09:14 AM


Thank you all for your comments.

To answer jmlee.
I wrote the poem after listening to a TV report in which a Kosovan mother explained how she and her other children were allowed to escape but that her eldest son who was twelve had refused to come and had remained with his father.
She was looking for their bodies.

pmc

sonjes
Senior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 564
North Carolina
9 posted 2000-03-11 07:10 AM


Oh my, disturbing, sensational, sad, respectful post, pmc.
Welcome to Passions.

  Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence.
-Enigma

CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685
USA
10 posted 2000-03-11 07:14 AM


Welcome to Passions pmc...wonderfully emotional post.  Looking forward to reading more of your work.

Chris

 Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON.

Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
11 posted 2000-03-11 01:42 PM


This is very powerful pmc. Might I make a suggstion though? on the very last line, instead of

We buried them at dawn.
how about
We buried them next morn.

That keeps almost the exact same message, and rhymes much better with born. Just a suggestion, in no way do you have to take it.
Again, Excellent poem.

INclan
Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024
Indiana, USA
12 posted 2000-03-11 02:29 PM


Welcome to Passions.  A very moving poem...I liked the way you bring out the best and worst of humanity all in the same piece.

WEll Done,

Inclan

Diana B
Member
since 2000-03-10
Posts 97

13 posted 2000-03-11 02:45 PM


powerful writing...haunting message...good work
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
14 posted 2000-03-11 04:05 PM


Patrick this is an excellent format and very touching...thanks for the explanation...I'm going to e-mail a copy of this to my son in Germany.    James

[This message has been edited by jmlee12345 (edited 03-11-2000).]

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