Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
Hollywood movie star
Miss Hotsy totsy was following her dream
which seemed to be another movie star scheme.
A traveler far from her country paradise
just another lovely lured by those Hollwood lights.
She took a hostess job on Fairfax and Vine
and she met Mr. Hokus Pokus in record time.
Seems he was a local film producer with a million dollar line
and as he layed his eyes on Miss Hotsy totsy he thought to himself
"Oh, she's so fine..I claim her..she's all mine."
And so it comes as no surprise at all
he buttered her up and made her promise to call.
It seems he had told her he could use her talents on his next movie
and he was mesmerized by her hostess skills and her natural beauty
So as they parted that night with a friendly kiss
he made her promise to meet him in the morning mist.
The plan was to meet in his office on Hollywood and Vine
and as he walked away he threw in just a few more lines.
"Come to me early in the morning my lovely and please be right on time.
Hey, did I tell you I'm the guy that wrote that famous Mae West line.
Why don't you come up and see me sometime."
She showed up bright and early on that Hollywood day
not even and earthquake could have kept her away.
Of course Mr. Hokus Pokus called her right in.
He said "Lets start this off with a hug my friend.
And since you're new to this town
I volunteer my services to show you around."
He told her his new movie was almost ready to go
but there was one small thing he needed to know.
Could she do love scenes in various stages of undress?
You must know that all the actresses do it and I'm only asking for a screen test.
Of course you have heard of theatrical expression.
All of those love scenes...all the kissing and lustful passion...hey, thats just acting
...its not really happening.
Somehow he knew she would agree
so he passed her the script and she began to read.
Her movie character would be Madam Rue
and he would be her lover true.
The part he would play was Abra Cadabra
you know the guy who reaches out to grab ya.
So now the time has come to begin
here's your chance to be an actress my friend.
Lights, camera, and now the action starts on the couch
they're sitting side by side checking each other out.
Madam Rue and Abra Cadabra
his part to reach out and grab ya.
For just a moment you will resist
but the scene now calls for a passionate kiss.
And now both get up and head for the red linen bed
hey, thats the way the script read.
Scene two opens with them lying in bed
they follow the script exactly as read.
She is now lying there in a red lingerie
of course the script says it must come off
it's only in the way.
Lights, camera, and action and the show must go on.
And so as each new scene begins its unveiling
Miss Hotsy totsy always seems so willing.
Somewhere in scene three well you can probably guess
what will happen when you and your lady undress.
Oh, how she wanted to win this part
to fulfil this Hollywood dream deep in her heart.
Its only acting...not really real.
And so the directors deed was done
another day for Hokus pokus Hollywood fun.
And before she left that day
he told Miss Hotsy totsy he wasn't sure
but not to worry or have any fear
cause more screen test await you my dear.
I will offer now some friendly advice
to those who seek a Hollywood Movie star life.
Beware of directors like Hokus Pokus
cause in just a few short scenes
They'll break your heart and steal your dreams.
The promise of a starring role is but a hoax
he wants to score...he wants to boast.
He and his friends follow this simple plan
to lure starstuck girls to bed...if they can.
All those love scenes and the kissing and the passion
it's only acting...its not really happening.
Hey, remember this is Hollywood
but even here I'll reveal some good.
My good friend Julia Roberts has a story to share
it seems she met this very same Mr Hokus Pokus when she went there.
Oh yes, she sat on that very same couch
and as usual Hokus Pokus tried to pounce.
Seems that on the very same moment he did his pounce
Julia jumped right off that couch.
A well placed heel in the groin
took the man named Hokus Pokus down.
And these are the very words she said
as he layed their on the floor.
"Stop your overreacting...hey...I'm only acting
...and we still have two scenes more."
I know for a fact that Mr. Hokus Pokus is no longer around in that Hollywood town
cause Richard Gere had a ball running that
SOB right out of town.
[This message has been edited by jmlee12345 (edited 03-08-2000).]