This is an old poem... I wrote it in 1996 about something that happened when I was in 8th grade in 1992. I definetly do not profess this to be a very good poem either... just posting it for a friend or 2 to see and perhaps some of you might get something out of it as well.
He's Out There
Dedicated to a Bastard
I wonder what would happen if I pulled the trigger
I'm 18 now,
nobody would think twice about killing me if I killed him
But what if they knew how much it's hurt me?
What if they knew how much it's effected the rest of my life?
If they could see into my brain
If I could roll the film
If they could see the shame,
and the guilt, and the humiliation
If I could just tell somebody!
If I could just let it all out!
But I can't
I can't because it's long gone
I can't because it's over
I can't because he's still around
He's still alive,
and he's still everywhere I look
He's still the same guy
He's still the same prick
But we don't talk anymore
We only talk when he's threatening me
We only talk when there's a gun involved
We only talk when he gets crazy
That's why I keep my mouth shut
That's why I bite my tongue-
-It's because he's out there
It's because he knows
It's because he's watching
Nobody understands it
Nobody can know it
Nobody else can feel it like I do
Because nobody else is me
Nobody else knows him like I do
Nobody else knows exactly what I know
And nobody ever will
Because that's the way it has to be
Because that's the way it is
It's done with,
and it's in the past...