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Open Poetry #6
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

0 posted 2000-03-08 12:02 PM


initials
   of each  pain
   are inscribed
   on her gilden
   soul
   tarnished
   broken
   tainted

  
memories
   shelled  away
   buried deeply
   no remnant of
   then
   tarnished
   broken
   tainted


hopeless
   is the dreary
   prospect  now
   of living out
   life
   tarnished
   broken
   tainted


forsaken
   dreams into a
   charnel stile
   housing of no
   hope
   tarnished
   broken
   tainted


revealed
   futility upon
   one faithless
   man bestowing
   lust
   tarnished
   broken
   tainted


continue
   though  never
   will be shown
   traitorous or
   true
   tarnished
   broken
   tainted


violated
   the  once she
   believed real
   is the  story
   love
   tarnished
   broken
   tainted


illusory
   the masque is
   portrayed her
   face a  smile
   faux
   tarnished
   broken
   tainted

  

  
  
  

© Copyright 2000 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
1 posted 2000-03-08 12:26 PM


Wow! Such wonderful poetry! I love the form, the images..the words....it's nice to read you again!  

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2000-03-08 12:50 PM


WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

This is a perfect example of why i missed you so...beautiful, Christopher!

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
3 posted 2000-03-08 02:16 AM


Beautiful poem but sad that manyy women go through that kind of false love

 "Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O,no! it is an ever-fixed mark....William Shakespeare



Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
4 posted 2000-03-08 04:38 AM


Sharon - One of these days, you're going to have to say something bad to me... what with all your sweet replies, my head barely fits through the door!

serenity - I just got back from a business trip in Boulder, CO. I had a laptop, but silly me forgot to contact my ISP for a remote access number! Thank you for the welcome back!

ARH - Sad indeed, but while I focused on the female point of view in this, I wrote it from my heart. Women aren't the only ones with hearts to be broken! Thank you for the reply!

Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
5 posted 2000-03-08 04:40 AM


Wonderful christopher! the format is terrific
and the poem itself quite insightful...bravo!

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
6 posted 2000-03-08 05:23 AM


Chris, I probably saw much deeper into this than I was supposed to.  You take your pain to such wicked vantage points at times. You have written a wonderful poem here.  Your talent never ceases to amaze me.

Michael



[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 03-08-2000).]

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
7 posted 2000-03-08 07:36 AM


You write with a beautiful style and touch those that read to the core of the soul where the river of pain still flows.  Thank you for sharing your gift of words like the sunrise sheds it light on the darkness of the night.  
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
8 posted 2000-03-08 09:45 AM


Christopher...I can very much relate to this piece. Well don in its technique and presentation both  
Enola
Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 138
England
9 posted 2000-03-08 10:26 AM


I'm speechless, this is probably the most amazing poem I've ever read.  I find it an inspiration - you write like a true professional. I only hope that some day, I can write with such compassion and eloquence.

 The tragedy of it is that nobody sees the look of desperation on my face. Thousands and thousands of us, and we're passing one another without a look of recognition.

Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
10 posted 2000-03-08 10:36 AM


Excellent poem Christopher, I like the repetitive use of
tarnished
broken
tainted
It helped to reinforce the message of the poem in a most excellent way  

Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

11 posted 2000-03-08 10:38 AM


liked this and yes the format brought the message home even more so...great writing
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
12 posted 2000-03-08 10:46 AM


     (hysterical laughter!)  

[This message has been edited by poetFemmeFatale (edited 03-08-2000).]

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
13 posted 2000-03-08 11:03 AM


Beki - The provision of insight is more than I could ask for, thank you for such a wonderful compliment!

Mike - Nope, not what you think... and I'm amazed I can amaze you!

Butterflies - What a beautifully poetic response. Thank you for bringing me a smile today!

Ruth - I know you can, thank you!

Enola - You've got me blushing a crimson shade! If this provides inspiration, then I am doubly blessed! (And I expect to see the resultant poem!)

Mistikman - Thank you, actually I was worried I might have overdone it. Glad o see it was well recieved.

Corazon - Thank you for reading and replying!

Gen - Thank you, I think... For the record: This poem is actually about myself and some of the personal trials I've experienced in my life. Though I don't necessarily feel this way anymore, the memories of it are still vividly etched in my mind. I swear this had nothing to do with anyone other than myself and the person whom was directly involved. I chose to view it from a female standpoint to gain a bit of emotional distance, and to bring a more subjective viewpoint to the feeling of the poem. When I started, it was from the first person, male, viewpoint. I found myself to "close" to the subject, so I found a way to back it off a bit. Then, I was able to recall the feelings, but maintain a space between it and I. Capice?  

Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
14 posted 2000-03-08 11:08 AM


Christopher, amazing, I really like that you can read backwards or forwards and its still a powerfull message.

Parker

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
15 posted 2000-03-08 11:39 AM


Okay, as I read this from a *Christopher* angle - I see only the beautiful things inside you.  However, we have similar scars I believe.  I didn't take offense to this sir.  I found it to be completely honest and soul bearing.  Nothing wrong with that, no matter which angle.  Me capice.  (big troll grin)  
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
16 posted 2000-03-08 11:42 AM


edited...

[This message has been edited by poetFemmeFatale (edited 03-08-2000).]

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
17 posted 2000-03-08 02:38 PM


This may have been written about your specific circumstance my friend but it hits home for many of us (unfortunately). Well done.  
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

18 posted 2000-03-08 03:52 PM


Christopher, this really is a beautiful and evocative piece of poetry no matter what the point of view, and I thank you for this "gilden" gifting. (I loved that word...*smiling*)

~ Claire

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
19 posted 2000-03-08 05:05 PM


Excellent Christopher!
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
20 posted 2000-03-08 09:29 PM


Excellent dear Christopher! Doing it from that view point, I can't say if that was easier or not! Great work, miss you around here!
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
21 posted 2000-03-08 10:47 PM


Stunning, Christopher.  Sharply painful, and presented in a crisp, clear form.  You have phenomenal talent.  

 *Krista Knutson*

"Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul...." ~*Sarah McLachlan- Do What You Have To Do*~


Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
22 posted 2000-03-09 04:25 PM


Haleyja - Awes-e-ome! You appear to be the only one who noticed that! It doesn't matter which way you read it! Thank you for noticing!

Gen - It's all good chick! No worries!  


Marilyn - I know,   Thank you!

Claire - You've left me a-smilin' wide! Thank you, I love the word as well!

Martie - Thanks for reading and replying!

Becca - I can't either, but it was instructive! Thank you, I'll try to be around more!  

Alwye - Now you've got me *blushing* Thank you!

Oscar Wilde
Junior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 31
San Francisco
23 posted 2000-03-09 08:35 PM


I was searching for you, though I didn't know it. And then I saw the title of your poem. I too have an illusion to keep one that sears my soul at times. Your picture reminds me of that illusion and now I want only to cast off the veil and dance freely in your heart. I cannot take my eyes from the visage on this page. Have we met? Can we? I feel the pull of your words so strongly that I know I am forever rambling here. I apologize. I will now seek your words and drink of your greatness.

Gemini
Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA
24 posted 2000-03-09 11:02 PM


Christopher, I feel your words, have been there myself and have a girlfriend who is now experiencing the same.  Very excellent poem.  Hugs.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
25 posted 2000-03-09 11:08 PM


Hard to match the replies here so I'll just say that I admire the poem and the writer greatly.....a work well done.
Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
26 posted 2000-03-10 12:08 PM


My goodness...I'll have to agree with Balladeer on this one.  What can I say that hasn't already been said??  (seems I say that a great deal when it comes to your poetry, m'friend...could it be that I'm always late in reading? lol)  I can say that when I read this, you were speaking for me.  You may have written your pain, however detached, but you have written my past(perhaps some of my now, as well) with perfect clarity.  Excellent work, as always guy!

 May I never be too busy to help another's load,
Then I'll be drinking from the saucer 'cause my cup has overflowed.

--Author Unknown

Oscar Wilde
Junior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 31
San Francisco
27 posted 2000-04-01 01:16 PM


I relate so much to this poem! I feel that I've become an Angel of Illusion in my life..


Thank you.
Your biggest fan,

O.

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
28 posted 2000-04-01 03:24 PM


Perhaps you could give lessons on how you change colors in your poetry like that..
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
29 posted 2000-04-01 03:56 PM


Christopher,
  It's all been said, but not yet from me, and from my viewpoint, this is superb and so meaningful to many. Excellent in style, content and form.
liz

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