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Open Poetry #6
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Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

0 posted 2000-03-07 11:12 PM


  Like a touch of mescaline

Through the ferment on the lake,
Ran the currents of awake.
Moving all that float of green,
To a picture of serene.

Up above the clouds rode high
And the moonlight lit the sky.
Bringing magic unforeseen,
To an Eden moments glean.

Captive in its warm embrace,
Thinking thoughts of wine and lace
I was total with the scene.
Like a touch of mescaline.

And the wind brought leaves to gay,
Dancing, turning, in ballet.
Till a touch did stop my roam
And I heard the words go home.

I have fantasized before,
But never with such soar.


© Copyright 2000 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

1 posted 2000-03-07 11:29 PM


I think I like the way you fantasize, Seymour...this one sends me...

~ Claire

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
2 posted 2000-03-08 12:03 PM


May your fantasies come true.
Exceptional poetry, as only you can write
Love ya
Liz

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2000-03-08 12:15 PM


Seymour~
Simply breathtaking, my friend.

Within the touch of mescaline,
visions not many eyes have seen.
Turning thoughts to wings a'flight,
bringing fantasies to light.

Captivating me within the realm
of the beauty of surround.
Mesmerizing mind and tongue
vivid thoughts have just begun.

Soaring far beyond the me,
sights before I've never seen.
Winds of chance now blow me home,
but, oh what freedom was my roam.

~*Marge*~




 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
4 posted 2000-03-08 12:20 PM


Oh, Seymour, I'm there! What a fabulous poem!

Corinne

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2000-03-08 08:57 AM


Meadow, Why thank you Meadow and I have gone on some of yours. *L*

Elizabeth, How many come true, I don't know
But they are with me all the time, Love Sy

Marge, Your poem was lovelier then mine, you should put it on the forum. *L*

Corinne, I'm glad I could steal your mind for a moment. *L*

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2000-03-08 06:11 PM


Seymour, methinks this is better than mescaline...
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
7 posted 2000-03-08 06:45 PM


Seymore, you write the greatest poetry I've ever read. In some ways, your poetry has inspired me to be more artistic, complexic and creative. You've influence me to the point that I changed my style a little. My next poem on this board will pay homage to you my friend.

 Nathan

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2000-03-08 06:46 PM


You have a magic place, dear Sy, and I'm so glad you share it with your words of grace.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
9 posted 2000-03-08 09:37 PM


This one makes me soar to read  
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

10 posted 2000-03-08 11:12 PM


Beautiful, Sy!

Denise

bboog
Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 303
Valencia, California
11 posted 2000-03-09 01:44 AM


Sy: You had me going. I'm new here, so please take these suggestions with a grain of salt. Since mescaline is a powerful halucinogentic, I kind of expected a little more excitement/imagination.
  Example:"moonlight exploded in the sky" or "I embraced the total scene". The last two lines (I think) should be rewritten as they are weak.
Again, only my two cents worth.
best regards,
bboog

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
12 posted 2000-03-09 07:53 AM


One little touch will do it.  Wonderful work, Sy...I'm soaring.


Michael

[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 03-09-2000).]

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
13 posted 2000-03-09 11:42 AM


Serenity, Me thinks so to, thank you.

Nate, It is an honor to inspire you. I will look for your poem.

Denice, Thank you sweet. *L*

Hoot, Thank you for the beautiful comment. *L*

bboog, I did,nt say I took the mescaline. Thanks for the critic.

Michael, Thank you much Michael.

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
14 posted 2000-03-09 12:42 PM


Keep soaring, Seymour... and thanks for taking us with you! *S*
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
15 posted 2000-03-09 10:15 PM


Suthern,
I'll try *L* I'll try.

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