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Passions in Poetry

Soul ASea Sonnet.... #1..(with English translation)

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Nan
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0 posted 03-07-2000 08:19 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

SOUL ASEA SONNET
(repost)


Aye, look from shore as far as eye can sea
At waving tiers of wont.  Your pounding heart
Beats harmonies on lonely bights, a part
Of shoal’s; deep passion is revealed to me.

A spray of droplets whispers in my ear
As symphonies brew tempests that cascade
Effluent torrents – Thence shoal’s all is said.
Transuding chants of seasong’s muse I hear

Upon mere’s surface – heart and soul in frith’s
Fluidic dance about the brink of tide.
You sea this citadel’s embracing shore

In countenance amount this earthen plinth’s
Protective strand, your deep lee sanctified
In Heaven’s light asea forever more.



[This message has been edited by Nan (edited 03-10-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Nancy Ness - All Rights Reserved
Mistikman
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since 01-10-2000
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1 posted 03-07-2000 09:21 PM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

Well now, this poem has left me quite perplexed   It flows nicely and has an interesting rhyming scheme I have not seen before, but alas I cannot comment on the meaning of the poem, for it is horribly lost on me   Please explain to a dumb little boy like me what this poem is all about  
Seymour Tabin
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since 07-07-99
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Tamarac Fla


2 posted 03-08-2000 09:07 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Nan, I would take this flight with thee,
     Across this very dreamy sea.
     And I would listen to your words.
     And watch the sky and count the birds.
Exquisite. *L* Sy
hoot_owl_rn
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since 07-05-99
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Glen Hope, PA USA


3 posted 03-08-2000 10:59 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Hey, a sonnet about the sea is never a bad thing...and in this case, quite a good thing  
Denise
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4 posted 03-08-2000 10:47 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Beautiful, Nan! It makes me long even more for the seaside!  

Denise
Alwye
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In the space between moments


5 posted 03-08-2000 10:50 PM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

Excellent Nan!  Very beautiful!  I had to dig out the dictionary again, of course, but it's well worth it.  I enjoyed this a lot.  

 *Krista Knutson*

"Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul...." ~*Sarah McLachlan- Do What You Have To Do*~

Michael
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6 posted 03-09-2000 09:20 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

This has always been a favorite of mine, Nan - but I think I related to it at an even deeper level than I ever could before.  Thank you for sharing it once more.


michael
jbowie
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since 02-18-2000
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BANGOR (that OR) ME


7 posted 03-09-2000 09:37 AM       View Profile for jbowie   Email jbowie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jbowie

Being a coastal Mainer and of Irish/scott heritage, I really enjoyed this. Picture through time, taking me back generations. What writing style would you describe this as though? (I need the edification, poor under educated waif that I am)
Nan
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8 posted 03-10-2000 07:00 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Thank you all, for reading this work.  It's actually one of my more intricate works, and is better read aloud than read silently.  It's a Petrarchan (Italian) Sonnet, James...

MM - See if this makes any more sense to you...

I look from shore as far as I can see
At waving tears of want.  Your pounding heart
Beats harmonies on lonely bites - A part
Of soul’s deep passion is revealed to me.

A spray of droplets whispers in my ear
As symphonies brew tempests that cascade
In fluent torrents – Then soul’s all is said -
In soothing chants of seasong’s music here.

Upon mere surface – heart and soul in frith’s
Fluidic dance about the brink of tide.
You see, this citadel’s embracing shore

In countenance amount this earthen plinth’s
Protective stand, you're deeply sanctified.
In Heaven’s light I see forever more.
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores


9 posted 03-10-2000 07:07 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Nan~
Intricately woven indeed.
I do admire the talent it takes
to write in this style.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Mistikman
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since 01-10-2000
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10 posted 03-10-2000 10:33 AM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

Ahh, thats much better, thanks Nan   Wonderful poem  
jbouder
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since 09-18-99
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Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash


11 posted 03-10-2000 11:54 AM       View Profile for jbouder   Email jbouder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jbouder

Nan:

Well done sonnet.  One tiny little thing ... isn't the Italian ABBAABBA/CDECDE?  Wordworth modified the second "BB" rhymes in one of his sonnets but I haven't seen the octet's rhyme scheme altered much more than that.  I wouldn't have mentioned anything except I KNOW how much of a stickler for detail you are.

I like the subject matter, btw, and appreciate the translation (I'm a land lubber).

Jim
Diana B
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since 03-10-2000
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12 posted 03-10-2000 02:56 PM       View Profile for Diana B   Email Diana B   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Diana B

this was so lovely to read...i did read it out loud and it danced on my tongue...lovely
Nan
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13 posted 03-10-2000 03:37 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Bouderwocky.... That's what I get for answering a question so early in the morning - on a sonnet that I wrote a year ago, without checking what the heck rhyme scheme I used anyway...
jbouder
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since 09-18-99
Posts 2641
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash


14 posted 03-10-2000 04:16 PM       View Profile for jbouder   Email jbouder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jbouder

Nan:

You are just as responsible for creating the Bouderwocky monster as any of the other Moderators in this forum, you know.  Why don't we just call this a "Nanian Sonnet"?  

The Whiffling JimBouderWocky
Nan
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15 posted 03-10-2000 07:50 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Of course - I was gonna say that next....

I-NANIAN Sonnet it is!!..


[This message has been edited by Nan (edited 03-10-2000).]
 
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