I make a concious effort every morning not to let things get me down and to just ride on whatever wave I happen to catch.
It does last for a good while, sometimes almost all day, but more often than not, my optimism fails me and I sink back down into my usual depths of not quite despair, not quite torture, but the feeling that my insides are being systematically sqeezed of all their life and usefullness.My stomach feels pinched and uncomfortable.
I'm not ready anyore. Every single ****ing day I start off fine and every single ****ing day ens in the same, sick-filled slumber.
Lathergy replaces every ounce of hope and good will that morning held for me.
Although I know this can't feasibly last forever- it is hard to remain in this positive mind-set because I feel like so much crap.
But, for now, I'll just try to ride on whatever wave I happen to catch.
I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.