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Passions in Poetry

Water Fallen

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Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


0 posted 03-06-2000 07:08 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Severn

Throat caught
  I rush
in lost vision

and where leaves walk I
  scream by
in winds moving

faster than all autumns
              
            I

loosed in
  fuming waters
tumble
spray-turned aware

less of ending
than forever
falling

and
if I
just
slow
to

halting

surely the water
  could curl me
in the hush
of soft currents

yet there
I am
   just    
a peace-lost
     drift of
            me
      
water fallen

© Copyright 2000 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


1 posted 03-06-2000 07:13 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Kamla~
I am somehow reminded of a
fallen leaf ... swirling atop the waters
of swiftly moving currents.

Beautiful images.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 02-14-2000
Posts 700
USA


2 posted 03-06-2000 07:22 AM       View Profile for CMGrimm   Email CMGrimm   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CMGrimm

Wonderfully well written severn...I like this style using the tempo of the poem to show the emotions of the writer/narrator
wonderful read.

Chris

 Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON.
Nurse Crachet
Member
since 09-27-1999
Posts 321
They know where I am!


3 posted 03-06-2000 07:41 AM       View Profile for Nurse Crachet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nurse Crachet

This is quite a poem, it almost seemed to come to life as I read it. Thanks for the journey, I enjoyed it.
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


4 posted 03-06-2000 07:51 AM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Well written and presented Severn. I could feel myself rushing along.  
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


5 posted 03-06-2000 08:27 AM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Severn: Although sounding lost it also sounded peaceful to me...hmmm, does that make sense..

HUGS

 I dropped a tear in the ocean
when it is found, I will stop loving you...
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


6 posted 03-06-2000 08:50 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Severn,
You not only made a water fall, but I heard the sounds in the words. Well done. *L*
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


7 posted 03-06-2000 10:11 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Kamla..a nother wonderful work from your hands to our eyes and mind  
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


8 posted 03-06-2000 10:55 AM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

I like this new experimental style, Kamla!

Corinne
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


9 posted 03-06-2000 11:00 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

I'm with Marge on this...I saw exactly as she did....yet another beautiful piece leaving me feeling breathless at how you depict my moods.
Seems we're both swirling atop the same waters of restlessness.....like fallen leaves.
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


10 posted 03-06-2000 11:37 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

faster than all autumns--I love the sound of this, love the sound of the whole poem.  Thank you Kamla for shraring your vision.
Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


11 posted 03-06-2000 12:52 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Yep - shivers.  You move me with your works like few can, Severn.  Powerful image depicted here.  One I relate to only too well.     ((HUGS))


Michael
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


12 posted 03-06-2000 03:12 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Sweet Butterfly,I could see and feel every line, This is marvelous! Excellent work ! as always   !

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


13 posted 03-06-2000 06:01 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

May those fuming waters turn calm and gentle, nice person. Excellent, as always.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


14 posted 03-06-2000 08:37 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

I agree, this is most excellent, Severn! I wish you that peace that you seek.  

Denise
mirjam
Member
since 11-24-1999
Posts 248
Auckland, New Zealand


15 posted 03-09-2000 01:20 AM       View Profile for mirjam   Email mirjam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mirjam

Oh Kamla, i have no words to adequately describe how this amazing piece has touched me.  Yes, a swirling leaf, turned this way and that in waters she cannot control, feeling scared, lost, and being able to do little more than move along with the current. You know how water is when it's running down stream, (where you are right now), well eventually it falls over a waterfall, and then... well then it rests calm in a deep pool, and laps gently against the edges.  May God give you patience and endurance, until that time when you will find that peace you seek.  Hey and Kamla, your writing is absolutely amazing, not that that isn't the umpteenth time i've told you that!  Loved the rhythm, the words, the sense, the everything.  My dear friend your gift is priceless.  Love ya.  
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


16 posted 03-09-2000 04:20 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

a peace-lost
     drift of
            me


Tumblin' and turnin' still I see!
Bootiful, K, and wet!
RSEvans
Senior Member
since 10-23-1999
Posts 1187
Tulsa, OK, USA


17 posted 03-09-2000 04:33 PM       View Profile for RSEvans   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RSEvans

Beautiful visual and sensual piece.  Bravo
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


18 posted 03-10-2000 01:01 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

You guys are all too wonderful you know that?
I'm just grateful really that any poem I write can reach people.

Marge(y) - Thankyou! You know I wasn't actually thinking of myself as a leaf in this...I think I was just nothing...hmmm - I do like it when a person sees something different in one of my poems than I originally intended...yay! Hugs.  

Chris - Well thankyou...very much!

N C - Great! Thankyou!

Marilyn - thanks!

RG - Well, it does have peaceful imagery in it so I can easily see that! Thankyou.

Sy - Hey masterpoet, thankyou very much, I appreciate it.

Ruth - that is a lovely thing to say - thanks hon.

Corinne - thanks! I do a lot of experimental stuff. (Given that I am NOT a structured poet at all. lol)

Femme - we are indeed it seems. If you're like me then periods of mental rest are few and far between. Thanks!

Martie - wow, thankyou! I never saw it as sharing a vision - and from you that means so much.

Michael - Wow. That is an incredibly overwhelming thing to say and I really appreciate it.

Thankyou.
Gone all humbly here.

Soul sis - Well you know where the current starts my friend - and thanks for being there when I limp out of those waters.  

Michael - thanks - and I hope the same for you 'deer one.

Denise - thanks sweet one.

Mirjam - you my friend are a saving grace! Thankyou.

Chris - Well, wet. Yes. Thanks - I think...LOL.

Robert - Thanks so much!

K




 'Writing sharpens life;
life enriches writing'
Sylvia Plath
 
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