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Passions in Poetry

Water's Essence

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MyPenNameIsSam
Member
since 03-06-2000
[First Post] 94
usa


0 posted 03-06-2000 03:51 AM       View Profile for MyPenNameIsSam   Email MyPenNameIsSam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for MyPenNameIsSam

Please keep in mind while reading this poem that it is a rough draft... as are almost all of my poems.  There are places that don't flow correctly and things that need to be changed.  If you would like to give me advice I will receive it kindly.  Thank you.

Water's Essence 11/11/99

The brisk wind
The water rough, yet smoothly flowing
Trees with no leaves
and a grey-blue sky

Holding my soul up to nature
Putting myself in her hand
She will rock me
She will soothe me
She will show me the mysteries of life

She allows me a glimpse into water
The blue skies there reflected in blackness
She shows me the surreal reality
That goes far beyond man's comprehension

She points to the sky in the big fluffy clouds
She shows me the whisps of man's dreams
The abundance of mind
     floating far beyond time
with the wisdom of sunshine behind it

She lets me fly free, within the winds eye
to feel its constant surrounding
To see for the first time, that the winds hold the key
to a world that society's been blinded

She looks to the horizon
     towards the trees with no leaves
She shows me the life that is hiding
She shows me the strength and the courage each one holds
And the individual loving that binds them

Again to the water she points as she says
"My child, the waters will calm you.
The waters give warmth to the mind and the heart
     even when freezing has iced them.

"They will hug you and kiss you and hold tight your hand
     as you continue along this great journey
They will bring you the wisdom of sun in reflections
and give back your strength with the trees that surround them.

"They give life to the trees and they form the clouds
And they constantly love you and watch you
When sadness has etched itself into your soul
Remember to let water hold you

"Remember to breathe, water floating in air
And remember this day I have shown you
Remember this day so that when it comes time
You can close your eyes and know waters hold you."

© Copyright 2000 molly - All Rights Reserved
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


1 posted 03-06-2000 05:37 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

This is really nice work, Sam - and I particularly like:

The abundance of mind
     floating far beyond time
with the wisdom of sunshine behind it

She lets me fly free, within the winds eye

Wonderful lines!

Welcome to Passions!

    

K




 'Writing sharpens life;
life enriches writing'
Sylvia Plath
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


2 posted 03-06-2000 05:46 AM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Nice writing.  The last three paragraphs  remind me of a prayer. "When sadness has etched itself into your soul..remember to let water hold you."  So similar to a prayer I say sometimes.   James
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


3 posted 03-06-2000 06:47 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Sam~


A wonderful entrance to the family
of Passion's poets.
Looking forward to more.
~*Marge*~



 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


4 posted 03-06-2000 09:38 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

What a beautiful entrance to passions...welcome and I'm looking forward to reading more  



MyPenNameIsSam
Member
since 03-06-2000
Posts 94
usa


5 posted 03-08-2000 07:26 PM       View Profile for MyPenNameIsSam   Email MyPenNameIsSam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for MyPenNameIsSam

Thank you all.    I'm so glad you liked it.    This is one of my more recent and favorite poems.  
     I'm glad you thought it sounded like a prayer.    That's how I meant it... I was describing how I felt at the place that I go on the lake for comfort.  
     Oh!  And if any of you have time, could you possibly look at my Moon Flower poem?  I'd really appreciate any help or words of wisdom you have on that.  Thanks again!  
sincerely,
Molly aka Sam
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


6 posted 03-09-2000 05:05 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Just thought you could have another smile since you gave us so many...





[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 03-09-2000).]
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