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Dovetailing

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Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


0 posted 03-05-2000 10:13 AM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Corinne

Dovetailing

A piece of me floated away last night,
broke away like eroding earth
in a flood of unexpected tears
and unchecked emotions.

Breathed me in leisurely,
steam rising from my cup
as I evaporated into you.

As time passes, I see
less and less of me
and more and more
of we.

2000 Corinne Bailey


© Copyright 2000 Corinne - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


1 posted 03-05-2000 10:43 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Beautiful, Corinne! Sounds like the perfect relationship!

Denise
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


2 posted 03-05-2000 10:45 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Perfect title to a perfect poem!
You are an amazing poet!
Liz
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


3 posted 03-05-2000 10:47 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Corinne, this is stunning..and I have to agree with Liz, you are amazing
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


4 posted 03-05-2000 10:49 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Corinne, I too agree with Elizabeth, well done.
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


5 posted 03-05-2000 10:52 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Oooooh, Corinne~
I want to drink from this cup !


Absolutely wonderful !
What a moment you've captured
in such a unique way.
Smiles !  
~*Marge*~
  


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Parker
Member Elite
since 01-06-2000
Posts 3135
... the old black rum


6 posted 03-05-2000 12:07 PM       View Profile for Parker   Email Parker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Parker's Home Page   View IP for Parker

~Corinne~
Love grows on the wing
Dove takes journey from closed hand
Freedom to touch again...

Parker

Ok I know he's lost it with this haiku stuff.
Dovetailing is very sweet, your writing is always different.
A true painter of life.
It sounds like your in love. Its always the sweet ones falling in love somewhere else.  

Parker

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


7 posted 03-05-2000 12:42 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

This is so gently expressed...but I felt a sadness, reading this poem, as though it spoke of losing one's "self" slowly. I'm sure it is purely my own perception that found a sadness here, but regardless, it is a beautiful piece of writing.

~ Claire
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


8 posted 03-05-2000 05:20 PM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

Thank you, Denise, Elizabeth, Martie,  Seymour and Marge for your very kind comments!

Parker,

Don't be so sure of what you think of as reality!

Claire,

I guess there is some sense of sadness, but in giving up of one's self, there is more joy than any other emotion.

Corinne

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


9 posted 03-05-2000 05:25 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

I did catch that sense of sadness in this poem, Corinne - all in all this is quite the loveliest poem...

Well done!

K

 'Writing sharpens life;
life enriches writing'
Sylvia Plath
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


10 posted 03-05-2000 10:23 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Corinne, this is one lucky fella....and I'm sure he knows it  
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


11 posted 03-06-2000 01:12 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

Rockin' quite well here! I agree with Severn, (don't tell her that,) that there's an underlying sense of saddness here. I choose to see that as the sense of loss over the exclusivity of self being replaced by the wonder of a joining. Though that joining is sought after, there's still hat feeling of sadness over losing somethign.
Well done, I like this much especially how you chose to end it!
Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


12 posted 03-06-2000 02:04 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Oh my, this is beautiful.  It's a wondeful feeling to become so immersed in the "we" aspect of a relationship.  You capture the essence well.

Michael
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


13 posted 03-06-2000 10:37 AM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

Thank you, Severn, Balladeer, Christopher and Michael!

I guess it's the yin and yang of love, giving up of one's self, there is a sense of loss but so much more is gained in doing so, don't you think?

Thanks again for all your very sweet comments.

Corinne
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


14 posted 03-06-2000 10:43 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

BEAUTIFUL!!!!! Applauds this fine work  
 
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