Seems my whole life I've been searching,
For something I saw once in a dream.
Walking along a long and twisted
Tale of inconsistent theme.
Seems my whole life I've been lonely,
Though people surround me flourishing love.
As if my heart could answer solely
To something set further above.
For Love is something I saw once,
Looking through a younger man's eye.
But Love it seems boasts restless wings,
I found her only flying by.
Yet stealing something from of me,
For which I'll ever pay the cost.
Love cut me and left me bleeding,
And Love left my soul lost.
Lost in the mists of eerie dreams,
Come but to torment the mind.
Dreams of Sweet Love escaping with
That part of me I never could find.
Now, after years searching about me,
I wonder, should I just look inside?
Within those giant walls of stone,
Where that wounded heart must hide.
That heart, itself, which once was stone,
Till a curse upon my name
Turned it to clay to lay alone
In hollowed-out pits of shame.
Perhaps an answer lies there,
Or clues to help me end this quest.
Something to make me whole again,
Lay this anxiety to rest.
So softly I approach the tomb,
Cutting the barbed-wire strands of pride.
Slowly rolling the stone away,
To take a look inside.
Everything is dark and gloomy,
Like a turned-off T.V. set.
The air is damp and deathly cold,
I'm not sure what I've found, not yet.
Memory hangs upon the walls
Where blood still stains the floor.
For open wounds have never healed,
On a heart begging for more...
Curled up in the corner,
Cobwebs lingering overhead.
Playing chess with the emotions,
That with it were left for dead.
As shadows slowly move about,
There, paying me no heed.
The faceless images of yesterday
Paying Destiny's deed.
As standing face to face with them,
I Wonder why they won't awaken.
For are they not still a part of me,
If eternally forsaken?
I scream and yell and kick and cuss,
Never so much as turning a head.
Till I sight the glance of Sweet Romance,
Set cross-legged on a heart-shaped bed.
Whispering softly in a stinted voice,
Her painted eyes wild, yet trite.
An instant, color illuminates the room,
Then everything falls black and white.
Behind me I hear something slam,
As her soft lips whisper, "more!"
And I know the stone's resumed its place,
Pride guarding, heretofore.
As distant shades of laughter
Bring all sense to sharp incline.
Then fade unto the darkness,
In a voice that sounds like mine.
Saying, "Welcome to Forever,
The lonely catacombs in your chest.
Where notions serve time for thoughtless crime,
Where emotions are put to rest.
Your sentence is a simple one,
The rest of your life will do.
You're charged with having feelings,
You know you weren't supposed to."
Now I realize that part of me
That many years ago was torn;
Is just the prison of indemnity
For feelings far away forlorn.
Such a tantalizing name, "Forever",
Not quite what I was searching for.
A pit of confusion around my heart,
For abased emotion to explore.
A place for notions, such as I
In emptiness to be forgot.
Before we ever dare to dream
Of becoming conscious thought.
Still it's funny, though, In all my searching,
I guess I never really had a clue.
You see somehow I always thought Forever,
Was a place meant for me and you.
'Tis true, Love lasts forever,
Only her memory slips away.
[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 03-05-2000).]