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Passions in Poetry

The Creature

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Mike
Member Elite
since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


0 posted 03-03-2000 11:44 AM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Mike

Crying children, no one there,
Broken railing, on the stair,
Mother sits with vacant stare,
No food in kitchen, to prepare.

The creature waits, her teeth bared white,
Beneath the girders, of hell's night,
Pierce the skin, in pain's delight,
Feel the joy, of creature's bite.

Light's filament, is hanging bare,
Mother's there, but who knows where,
Out on the streets, car horns blare,
Who gives a damn, as if I care.

I wish I may, I wish I might,
See cockroach run, as neighbors fight,
A handgun lays, in open sight,
Come to me, no sense of fright.

Shot rings out, red matted hair,
Spattered pool, look, see skin tear,
Creature smiles, done paid her fare,
Mother dies, with vacant stare.

[This message has been edited by Mike (edited 03-03-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Mike - All Rights Reserved
Enola
Member
since 02-11-2000
Posts 138
England


1 posted 03-03-2000 11:58 AM       View Profile for Enola   Email Enola   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enola

Wow.  That's a good poem, I could feel the chills running down my spine.  What was the inspiration?
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


2 posted 03-03-2000 12:27 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

This is intense, Mike. Very well written.

Denise
Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


3 posted 03-03-2000 01:36 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Tim, this description is intense and real I'm afraid...a view that must be hard to keep from thought when you search for peace.  Very well written, of course.
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


4 posted 03-03-2000 01:50 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Left a little speechless at the reality of this
Good work
Liz
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


5 posted 03-03-2000 03:19 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Mike, wow, this was very chilling and so very vivid. Excellent work!  

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


6 posted 03-03-2000 03:53 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

OMG....what a POWERFUL poem!!! If this doesn't make everyone step back for a moment and think...nothing will. Wonderful job on such a terrible subject!
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


7 posted 03-03-2000 09:00 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Mike~
Almost too vivid a portrayal.
Stark-naked horrifying reality.
I cry for us all.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


8 posted 03-03-2000 09:06 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

If anyone could write about a horrible incident and make it so chilling in its imagery, it's you. Excellent poem, sir...terrible subject....so sad....
 
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