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Open Poetry #6
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Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA

0 posted 2000-03-01 10:29 PM


After so many poems of heartache and of pain
I figured it was time for me to explain
For I have been going through a life quite hard
And scribing the story as if I were a bard

I have spoken many times of my loss
Things that had left me nothing but cross
Things such as love thrown asunder
Due to one of my horrible blunders

I have written of my difficult childhood
Living a life that no child should
Receiving my fathers irrational rage
At such an innocent young age

I have scribed of my grandmother's death
Where she lost hope and breathed her last breath
She left this world altogether too soon
Late in the darkness with only light of the moon

I have uttered of my endless depression
Speaking with truth and lack of discretion
I have spoken of horrors such as suicide
Because in you I chose to confide

Now I guess I should speak of something happy
Something joyful and hopelessly sappy
But I hope you all don't consider me rude
Because after all this I am not in the mood

© Copyright 2000 Travis Welton - All Rights Reserved
bobbycat
Member
since 2000-02-06
Posts 233
USA
1 posted 2000-03-01 10:45 PM


On one hand, this poem makes me sad to think of all the things you've had to deal with in your life....but on the other hand, the last line brought a smile to my face and caused me to chuckle....please don't think me rude; I thought it was a great way to end this poem!  Excellent work!     

Bobbycat =^..^=


 ~~Blessed Be!~~

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2000-03-01 10:48 PM


I too liked the poem..and whether you intended it this way or not, you achieved your goal...you made me smile! Good job!  

sonjes
Senior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 564
North Carolina
3 posted 2000-03-01 10:50 PM


Ya know, I was feeling it and I was there, but the last lines, made me literally drop my head in disappointment for you.  You really had me rooting for you and then, it seems you saddened me.  But, you did get my attention all the way through, and got my emotion hyped up, and therefore I REALLY admire you for this poem.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2000-03-01 10:51 PM


Mystik... write about what YOU want to write about..., write for your self...what you feel...and write to heal...
all I know is what ever you write you touch us.  take care, janet marie

 Now for me some words come easy
But I know that they don't mean that much
Compared with the things that are said when lovers touch
You never knew what I loved in you
I don't know what you loved in me
Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be...
Jackson Browne
*I miss you baby...
I love you...always.


Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
5 posted 2000-03-02 12:54 PM


bobbycat- heh, thanks   My poetry is open to any type of interpretation you want. I am glad you found a humor in this piece I had not originally intended(however now that you say it I can see it, heh) I would never think anyone rude for saying what they think of my poetry.

Poet deVine- Again, thank you   I am glad that I can brighten your day with the darkest of poetry(ok, its not the darkest heh, Michael takes that award lately)   Thank you for your continual support  

sonjes- Well, I am glad that you enjoyed the poem, despite the minor emotional rollercoaster I put you on   Thank you.

Janet Marie- Oh, I do   I never write anything that I dont want to. My views are my views and no one will change them or make me write about anything different.   Thank you.    Oh, BTW, its Mistik, not Mystik  

chic
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245
yellville, Ar, U.S.
6 posted 2000-03-02 01:54 PM


You know...this was a great poem and it had so much feeling (as does many of your others), but anyway...You put alot of heart and emotion into your poems and that's what makes them so great...But then again there is also the fact that there so far has not been any happiness in your life and if there has, there is more sadness than happiness so the happiness is basically overidden by the sadness and sorrow.  I feel ur pain and sorrow Mistik and I give u a HUGE HUG!!!! Cheer up...some day...you will find enough happiness to make up for all the sorrow that you have felt.< !signature-->

 "Life is a game and we have to play, but in the end...we all die."-by me!

[This message has been edited by chic (edited 03-02-2000).]

Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

7 posted 2000-03-02 03:49 PM


wow, it is incredible this place, these poets and readers with whom we are able to share our sorrow, and our smiles...am glad that you found us, and that you share...and I hope your writing helps you find a healing...so many of us here are writing for the same reasons...great poem
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2000-03-02 04:57 PM


I liked the message here.  Sometimes I'm happy and sometimes I'm sad.  I write where my heart takes me and hopefully my heart will take me to happiness a little more often and stay there longer and longer.   James
Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
9 posted 2000-03-02 06:17 PM


chic- Thank you. There has been happiness in my life, but it seems to be few and far between all the pain I have had to feel. Thanks for the hug  

Corazon- Aye, I know what you mean. I dont know what I would have done if I had not found this place. You have all become a family of sorts for me. A place and people I can come to when I need some help, or just to be noticed. Thank you all, every last one of you  

jmlee12345- Thank you. I find if I try to write about something different than how I feel it comes out really bad. I have to be true to my heart, or I can not write.

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
10 posted 2000-03-02 11:34 PM


Yep, I agree. This is sad that all this has happened, but I too had to giggle at the end.

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

11 posted 2000-03-03 12:48 PM


Very clever writing. I enjoyed the way you ended this. I, too, am sorry for your pain.

Denise

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
12 posted 2000-03-03 04:23 AM


Great poem.... feel free to vent any kind of emotions here, we are all friends. HUGS
Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
13 posted 2000-03-03 10:48 AM


WhtDove & dsnyder- Thank you

tracie66- Oh, I do   This seems to be the only place I can adequately vent my emotions. Im too much of a nice guy to blow up in real life  

christies heart
Member
since 1999-08-10
Posts 189
NJ, USA
14 posted 2000-03-03 11:15 AM


This was a wonderful poem,not to mention it echoed so many of my thoughts as of late. The last line did not make me laugh at all. I am wondering now if that how it was intened. I saw it as clearly wrapping up much of the point. It is not only sad that you have experienced so much pain, but tragic. I speak from empathy and not sympathy. So from the same place, I say try to use such adversity to build strenth. That's all I can try to do, and the only sense I can make out of such issues. In anycase, It was a wonderful poem.

 Grant that I may not judge my niegbor until I have walked a mile in his moccasians

Native American prayer



Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

15 posted 2000-03-03 04:45 PM


I think you're lucky to have such a form of expression to deal with it all - so use it, and don't worry about what anyone thinks - truly, just write from your heart.

Great work.



 'Writing sharpens life;
life enriches writing'
Sylvia Plath

Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
16 posted 2000-03-03 06:52 PM


christies heart- I guess its all in the way you read the poem, or your mindset at the time. Whatever way you interpreted it, thank you. Whatever doesn't kill me can only make me stronger.

Severn- Thank you, I am, and I do  

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
17 posted 2000-03-03 07:36 PM


This is a great poem   I really enjoyed it!
sandgrain
Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA
18 posted 2000-03-03 07:57 PM


Sharing your feelings in such a talented way, is an encouragement to others.  Thanks for sharing.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
19 posted 2000-03-03 09:21 PM


Personally, I think poets should write for themselves and, if others like it, so much the better.
Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
20 posted 2000-03-03 10:49 PM


hoot_owl_rn- Why thank you   Much obliged  

a sandgrain- Your welcome, and thank you for reading  

Balladeer- I write for myself first, but once its written I have an unstoppable urge to show it off to others   Thanks.

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

21 posted 2000-03-06 06:02 AM


LOL - I like your honesty...

K

 'Writing sharpens life;
life enriches writing'
Sylvia Plath

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