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Open Poetry #6
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Miss.Queeny
Junior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 22


0 posted 2000-03-01 02:50 PM


Ok, this is my first poem and I am nervous, you all seem to know each other.

*** Window ***

Withering hopelessness.
Words are all I am to you,                        
and I can not speak my
truth,
because I know,
all I am is empty,
hollow words of forgiveness.
For I speak only the echos you long to hear.

And the night seems so grotesque now,
because I fear what I will dream,
and I fear being awake,
as the world sleeps
and my God sleeps
and dreams of honesty.

How absurd,
to watch the flouresent archives and wake,
fresh with poison, to a different,
familiar ache.

Vuglgar displays of power,
like poetry to a starved society.
An eye - dramatic and dancing with passion,
glistens with rage and catches
the soul of it spectators in the wet mouth
of its pupil.

So I create a fire and burn my skin,
so I am not perfect and I am not beautiful.
And you told me I had never looked so
damn
beautiful,
as I did when I crouched with the flame.

Because I am not like them,
I told you,
and I told you I was not
going to lose my soul to a monster -
and you kissed me and said
' Wonderful hopelessness '
as we looked at the bodies burning houses.
Through our window which filtered
reality
and shielded us from
honesty.

*** There you go, I know it is long and I apologise for my spelling. I am but young.

Love, Peace and Apathy...MISS.Q xxx


© Copyright 2000 Miss.Queeny - All Rights Reserved
RufffRyder
Member
since 2000-02-25
Posts 143
<------Over There------>
1 posted 2000-03-01 03:09 PM


Beautiful!!
You`ve done a excellent job with your first post
I look forward to reading more of your work.
Welcome to passion and thank you for the read Miss.Q

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
2 posted 2000-03-01 03:56 PM


This is wonderful - and full of emotion.  Welcome to Passions.


Michael

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
3 posted 2000-03-01 04:11 PM


No need to be nervous sweetheart, I promise we don't bite, well, only when we're hungry..*g*

HUGS

 I dropped a tear in the ocean
when it is found, I will stop loving you...

Miss.Queeny
Junior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 22

4 posted 2000-03-01 04:31 PM


Thankyou RufffRyder, Michael and RainbowGirl...I do feel welcome now, thankyou for your kind words and encouragment.

Love, Peace and Happiness...Q xxx

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
5 posted 2000-03-01 06:32 PM


Very nice for your first poem! Welcome to the family. Please check your email for a special welcome. How young are you? Would you feel more comfortable in the Teen Forum? You are certainly welcome to post anywhere here.....  
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2000-03-01 08:16 PM


You?  Nervous?  After reading your first post, I'M nervous...This is just TOO GOOD.
Welcome...(so now you know a few of us...)

Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
7 posted 2000-03-01 08:20 PM


Miss Queeny, May I call you miss Queeny... There's something very sexy about the way you write...

Parker

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2000-03-01 09:23 PM


Very well done!....and welcome
devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
9 posted 2000-03-02 12:12 PM


This was a wonderful show of emotion...
young or old...this simply caught my attention Miss!!! Welcome from lil ole me!!!

And don't mind James...I think everyone's in heat down there in Canada!!LOL!!!! (just kidding James...you know I love to see you blush!!!!)


 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

10 posted 2000-03-02 12:32 PM


Wow...I am addicted to freeverse and am always looking out for new talent - WOW!!! And here I find some!

Welcome to Passions - this is excellent work.

      

K



 'Writing sharpens life;
life enriches writing'
Sylvia Plath

mete out
Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 270
england
11 posted 2000-03-02 06:23 AM


This is an incredible poem Miss Queeny.
Do not apologise for the length of it, sometimes brievity will not do.
I look forward to reading more of your amazing, inspiring work.

There's an e-mail waiting for you too honey..


 I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.

Songbird
Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184
Missouri
12 posted 2000-03-02 08:00 PM


This was really a enjoyable read, no need to be nervous here. You are among the nicest company on the web. If you are afraid of getting bit just don't go in Critical Forums!! I am teasing. LOL
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
13 posted 2000-03-02 08:20 PM


This is quite an intense work, and quite brimming with imagery it is...

Welcome to Passions, Miss Queeny - You might as well dive in - the water's fine here...

HelmutB
Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964
Canada
14 posted 2000-03-02 08:48 PM


Welcome to Passions
A well done your poem, very nice.

 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
15 posted 2000-03-03 06:30 AM


A very nice poem, a great first post here. Don't be nervous, we don't bite...well at least very few of us do. I myself would look out for Toerag at times...lol.
Welcome to passions  

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