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Passions in Poetry

Hell

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Mistikman
Senior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


0 posted 02-29-2000 12:11 AM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Mistikman

For my life I am going straight to hell
To a place where vile demons dwell
And if Satan shall have his way
Forever there I am doomed to stay

For in my life I committed treacherous deed
Upon which my conscience does now feed
I have judged others by standards not my own
Surely they would hate me had they just known

I committed the horrible act of hypocrisy
Which inflicts my soul with mortal leprosy
If now death claimed me it would be quite Just
For into the bowels of hell I would be thrust

To burn amongst others in fire and brimstone
Reaping all the devious seeds I have sown
Screaming in agony as my punishments worsen
Why couldn't I have just been a better person?

Why did I have to hold myself above others?
Dignity my blindness continually smothers
I wanted others to see me how I failed to see them
More than my mortal body, my soul was condemned




[This message has been edited by Mistikman (edited 02-29-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Travis Welton - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


1 posted 02-29-2000 12:15 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Ok..you're getting too good at this poetry writing stuff! LOL

Deep and dark poem, Mistikman...I hope you don't think this is your fate..you certainly aren't a hypocrite...so it must just be a fictional work...ok..
Mistikman
Senior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


2 posted 02-29-2000 12:17 AM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

Well, it is a fictional piece, mainly because I am an atheist, I dont believe in hell   But yea, I am a hypocrite. I want others to like me despite my physical appearance, yet I find it hard to get close to someone who is not physically attractive themselves. I try to look past it, but it is really hard.
Cerenity
Member Elite
since 02-16-2000
Posts 2712
Escondido-California


3 posted 02-29-2000 12:44 AM       View Profile for Cerenity   Email Cerenity   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cerenity

Mistikman,

I am so glad there is no place like this you described here, but I have to say you did bring up some good points about judging people.

Thanks, Cerenity
INclan
Senior Member
since 07-20-99
Posts 1046
Indiana, USA


4 posted 02-29-2000 12:57 AM       View Profile for INclan   Email INclan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for INclan

A very interesting and well written posting, Mistikman.  Hell is not a subject we often see in poetry here.  I must say that I admire your faith. Reading your comments, I am reminded of the song-line "....I can swear there ain't no heaven but I pray there ain't no hell."  Good Luck.
RufffRyder
Member
since 02-25-2000
Posts 191
<------Over There------>


5 posted 02-29-2000 01:03 AM       View Profile for RufffRyder   Email RufffRyder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RufffRyder's Home Page   View IP for RufffRyder

A very strong,dark and yet well written piece.
Thank you for read Mistikman.
chic
Member
since 01-26-2000
Posts 255
yellville, Ar, U.S.


6 posted 02-29-2000 09:32 AM       View Profile for chic   Email chic   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for chic

Mistikman my main poetry man Great poem, very deep and dark, but also it describes my life to a tee Great work

 To be or not to be...that is the question.[hamlet]


Mistikman
Senior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


7 posted 02-29-2000 05:57 PM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

Cerenity-1- Thank you.

INclan- Thank you, I dont know what really prompted this poem, I just had sudden inspiration and the words just flowed. I am willing to take on any subject, no matter how neglected, if inspirations drives me to.


RufffRyder- Thank you.

chic- Bah, I doubt you are nearly as much of a hypocrite as me. Just keep looking foreward and life will improve, trust me. Thank you for the response btw.  
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


8 posted 02-29-2000 06:04 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

Mistikman, I like this! Quite original in execution and darkened with regret... so skillfully expressed. Excellent work!

~ Claire
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


9 posted 02-29-2000 06:30 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Excellent work Travis! I see you improve with every poem you write.  
 
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