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Passions in Poetry

Look Beneath the Skin

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Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


0 posted 02-27-2000 10:39 AM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Alicat

At Basic I was in the Army and I drilled with tools of hate,
And at the practice range that day I jammed an active round.
I thought I cleared, and chambered a round; that's when it went hot plate.
And that was all I knew as my body hit the ground.

When I awoke, nothing was there, except the sound of feet;
The gurney swayed, as bootheels clicked and echoed on the floor.
When next I waked reflection showed a face of ruined meat
My eyes could see, and so I saw commotion at the door.

I guess the nurse was new to the ward, for the look she gave my face
Was one of disgust and before she turned I saw the look of fear.
I knew that she loathed my sight and longed to leave that place;
Before she left I pitched my words so only she would hear.

"You cannot bear to look at me, though I've done no sin;
If you want to see who I really am, just look beneath the skin."


Alicat, the Persnikitty

 As I sit here dimly thinking
Watching modem lights a-blinking
Churning out poetic hash.
Lord, in all Your piety,
Help me keep my sanity:
Please don't let the modem crash!  --Alicat



[This message has been edited by Alicat (edited 02-27-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Alastair Adamson - All Rights Reserved
X Angel
Senior Member
since 11-07-1999
Posts 1592
Oregon


1 posted 02-27-2000 10:54 AM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for X Angel

Your face looks fine really  
Creepy poem...it gave me shivers and made me think! Good one!
~X~
X Angel
Senior Member
since 11-07-1999
Posts 1592
Oregon


2 posted 02-27-2000 10:56 AM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for X Angel

well I take that back, about your face, you have a strange dark fuzzy growth all over it...I hear tell they got these sharp lil things ya just run right across yer skin an POOF no more dark fuzzy stuff
~just kidddddddddddddin

       ~X~
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


3 posted 02-27-2000 10:57 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Wow! What a wonderful message..I wasn't sure where this was going but I really love it.  
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


4 posted 02-27-2000 11:15 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Yanno, I was kind of wondering but I didn't want to just come out and ask....Don't worry, persnikity one, they can do wonders with plastic surgery these days....look at Nan!!!  

Excellent writing and message, btw.
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


5 posted 02-27-2000 11:24 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Alicat~
Excellent point you've made here.
I like this very, very much.
Sorry it happened to you ...
but I'm sure it made you a more
understanding, compassionate person.
~*Marge*~



 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


6 posted 02-27-2000 12:17 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Super message in this one my friend. It applies not only for those who have been hurt in some way but also for those of us who are not in the "beautiful" catagory. All to often people are taken by the face instead of what is really important.  
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


7 posted 02-27-2000 05:02 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Great message here!! *S*
Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


8 posted 02-28-2000 10:04 AM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Thank you all for the replies.  
Now for some background info:  Yes, I was in Basic, but not for long.  When a Colonel says you have asthma, you have asthma.  And so out I went with a MED200.  I do suffer from depression more often than not (hard to believe, eh?), and this poem has been rattling around in my head for the past week from a depression induced dream.  The way it came out wasn't how I originally planned it, though the message was the same...sometimes, poems write themselves.

Thanks again, and I'll be seeing some of you this Sunday.  

Alicat the Persnikitty


 As I sit here dimly thinking
Watching modem lights a-blinking
Churning out poetic hash.
Lord, in all Your piety,
Help me keep my sanity:
Please don't let the modem crash! --Alicat

Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


9 posted 02-28-2000 10:09 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Amen - well said Alicat.


Michael
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


10 posted 02-28-2000 10:37 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I think your message comes through loud and clear. This is perhaps my favorite of yours. Well written  
Munda
Member Elite
since 10-08-1999
Posts 3629
The Hague, The Netherlands


11 posted 03-05-2000 08:32 AM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda

number 5 are you sure you' re happy you challenged me ?  
Munda
Member Elite
since 10-08-1999
Posts 3629
The Hague, The Netherlands


12 posted 03-05-2000 08:34 AM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda

number 6....and the question was not what was, but what will be, will be.....the future's not ours you see la la la la la
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