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Open Poetry #6
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Look Beneath the Skin
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Look Beneath the Skin |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas 
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At Basic I was in the Army and I drilled with tools of hate, And at the practice range that day I jammed an active round. I thought I cleared, and chambered a round; that's when it went hot plate. And that was all I knew as my body hit the ground. When I awoke, nothing was there, except the sound of feet; The gurney swayed, as bootheels clicked and echoed on the floor. When next I waked reflection showed a face of ruined meat My eyes could see, and so I saw commotion at the door. I guess the nurse was new to the ward, for the look she gave my face Was one of disgust and before she turned I saw the look of fear. I knew that she loathed my sight and longed to leave that place; Before she left I pitched my words so only she would hear. "You cannot bear to look at me, though I've done no sin; If you want to see who I really am, just look beneath the skin." Alicat, the Persnikitty As I sit here dimly thinking Watching modem lights a-blinking Churning out poetic hash. Lord, in all Your piety, Help me keep my sanity: Please don't let the modem crash! --Alicat [This message has been edited by Alicat (edited 02-27-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Alastair Adamson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
Your face looks fine really  Creepy poem...it gave me shivers and made me think! Good one! ~X~ |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
well I take that back, about your face, you have a strange dark fuzzy growth all over it...I hear tell they got these sharp lil things ya just run right across yer skin an POOF no more dark fuzzy stuff ~just kidddddddddddddin ~X~ |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Wow! What a wonderful message..I wasn't sure where this was going but I really love it.  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Yanno, I was kind of wondering but I didn't want to just come out and ask....Don't worry, persnikity one, they can do wonders with plastic surgery these days....look at Nan!!! Excellent writing and message, btw. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Alicat~ Excellent point you've made here. I like this very, very much. Sorry it happened to you ... but I'm sure it made you a more understanding, compassionate person. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Super message in this one my friend. It applies not only for those who have been hurt in some way but also for those of us who are not in the "beautiful" catagory. All to often people are taken by the face instead of what is really important. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Great message here!! *S* |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Thank you all for the replies. Now for some background info: Yes, I was in Basic, but not for long. When a Colonel says you have asthma, you have asthma. And so out I went with a MED200. I do suffer from depression more often than not (hard to believe, eh?), and this poem has been rattling around in my head for the past week from a depression induced dream. The way it came out wasn't how I originally planned it, though the message was the same...sometimes, poems write themselves. Thanks again, and I'll be seeing some of you this Sunday.  Alicat the Persnikitty As I sit here dimly thinking Watching modem lights a-blinking Churning out poetic hash. Lord, in all Your piety, Help me keep my sanity: Please don't let the modem crash! --Alicat |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Amen - well said Alicat. Michael |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I think your message comes through loud and clear. This is perhaps my favorite of yours. Well written |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
number 5 are you sure you' re happy you challenged me ? |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
number 6....and the question was not what was, but what will be, will be.....the future's not ours you see la la la la la |
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