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Open Poetry #6
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Glimmerless.......
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Glimmerless....... |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Sweet innocent face, Staring up at mine, Cheekiest grin, Bright eyes that shine, But something is wrong, Something that she can't see, And she's searching for answers, Answers from me, " Why am I so tired?" I can't explain, " Why do I feel so bad?" God, please stop her pain, I want to take her in my arms, And to my breast hold her tight, But the final glimmer of hope, I am losing sight, For the white coats say, Her end is coming near, That her life light is fading, And will cease to flicker within the year, I can't let this happen, To this angel of mine, I need to find something, God, help me to extend her time, If that means that I, Must sacrifice my life, In an instant I will, And I shall take away the knife, The sharpness that is severing, Her thin thread of hope, In the dark void of pain, Her tiny hands fruitlessly grope, For something to hold onto, Something she doesn't know what, Perhaps an answer to grasp? Her unrelenting pain to stop? Sweet innocent face, Staring up at mine, A pale, faded grin, Eyes that used shine, " Where is your smile?" she asks, " And why are you crying?" My love just isn't enough, To stop my baby from dying. |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
~Moonshine~ I felt the depth and emotions through every part of me. I can't think of no greater loss than that of a child. However five years ago, I lost my adopted mom...so maybe I can relate to this feeling a little better than I might have originally thought. "When life seems bleak and you can't go on Trust in God, he'll make you strong" Keep your head held up high, you will be in my prayers. ~Amy |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
oh gosh this is heartbreaking...sitting here crying...it is so hard when you would give your life if you could...but you aren't given that option....sigh...great poem |
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Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
A heartbreaking story, my prayers are with you. Recording the memories you have with her will be something that will help you cherish more her memories and deal with the pain. Keep on writing. |
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January Flowers Member
since 2000-02-01
Posts 209South Carolina |
The pain in this writing leaves me absolutely numb. I cannot imagine... I have been told before that God will never give us an obsticle so large that we cannot handle it, for He knows our capabilities, but this situation is completely devestating. Offering the peace of prayer to you. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
this is so sad  not an easy thing to write about, not an easy thing to read, but you've put it together wonderfully in a sad, but well written piece of poetry...well done  |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Wow - I feel terrible, this poem is not a personal poem for me. I don't even have any children yet - this is a poem that I wrote as a reaction to a patient that I cared for when I was on clinical prac last year ( I am a student RN) in a paediatrics ( childrens)hospital. Working in paediatrics you work closely with the childs parents as well - I developed a close relationship with the childs mother while I was on prac - I wrote this poem as a reaction to things she told me. I really empathised with the family, the mother in particular because I could only barely imagine what this would feel like if it happened to me. Even though this was a very sad experience ( my first heartbreaking experience with child mortality), it was also a very beautiful experience - and the little girl was absolutely amazing, a total inspiration. I am sorry if I gave people the impression that this poem was about myself - it was very late when I posted that poem and I forgot to type that it was not a personal poem. Thank you all for your lovely replies. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Moonshine, Excellent, you certainly touched my heart and frightened it at the same time. What a releief I felt when I read your reply PHEW!!! GIRL. A very sad poem and excellently put together. Well Done!What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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christies heart Member
since 1999-08-10
Posts 189NJ, USA |
Tremendous!!! This poem touched me more than I can express. It is a wonderful thing that you, as a student RN, can empathize so well and really be there for those you have contact with. I work with many individuals in the midts of personal tragadies as well, and working in a hospital, I have seen that the years of being over-worked...ect, can sometimes suck the humanity from some. Never lose yours. You have a wonderful gift for caring for the patients and families you will enounter in your career. The last line makes me cry every time I think of it!!! |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Moonshine, this is a devastating and beautiful piece of writing...the futility and desperation of a mother's unconditional devotion set down so well in verse. Wonderful work, this. When my sister was dying in December, I communicated almost daily with each of the doctors (and there were several) who had treated her over the past three years along the progressive stages of her illness. She and I had often discussed how we wanted to do our part to help remind the doctors and medical folks that the "case" they were treating was, indeed, a person...with a full and active life, with family and friends who loved her as only she could be loved for the remarkable person she was...and in doing so, to help the medical folks see their own worth and importance in the lives of each and every one of their patients and patients' families. For two months in the hospital and then the final seventeen days in Hospice, as we progressed toward her death, the doctors came...nearly every day. They knew that I wanted them to take part in this experience, and although painful and so difficult for us all, I believe the sharing was important to them as well as to us. Her primary oncologist, who is the head of the largest cancer center in this region, stood beside me with tears in his eyes, gazing down at her, rasping and comatose, on the morning of her death. He could not speak, but through his embrace, I knew that he understood the depth of our loss, and really felt the true and sobering impact that his life had had in ours. I admire your compassion and sensitivity to your patients, and I thank you for sharing this poem with us. Claire I'm sorry my response was so long, everyone. |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Thanx for your lovely reply DA - sorry that I freaked you out : ) Thanx for your reply and nice compliment CH, sometimes it is hard to separate your personal feelings from your role in acting "proffessional" but at the same time I think me being able to empathise increases my proffessionalism in a lot of ways. I have cried so many times for patients, but I've also shared in their happiness or whatever feelings that they have experienced in their healing. Thanx for your reply Claire - I am sorry to hear that you lost your sister. It was good to hear the Dr's took an active emotional role in her treatment. Nurses and doctors and other health care proffessionals are taught " proffessional distance" in their training - sometimes this can lead to people treating patients as " cases" as you say. There is no excuse for it, but sometimes it just happens. I struggle with proffessional distance myself because I think maybe I care too much. Caring is good but it can lead to burn out - I need to learn to separate myself from my feelings a little more than I do - but then again I think caring improves the quality of care that we provide to our patients. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Moonshine~ A touching piece that is felt by some father, some mother ... somewhere today. Thank you for sharing this lovely and thoughtful piece with me. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
this poem is extraordinary and touched me deeply...the fact that your can evoke such emotion and it not be from "personal" experience makes your talent even more impressive...exceptional. take care, janet marie ...there are places inside all our souls... that have never been touched... there are places inside our hearts... that need to be loved this much... Janet Marie *I miss you baby... I love you, always.* |
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RufffRyder Member
since 2000-02-25
Posts 143<------Over There------> |
Some say men aren`t suppose to cry, But the pain I feel has brought a tear to my eye, Im lost for words to brighten your day, Know that on my knees for you two I`ll pray. I am so,so sorry,I wish there were something that I could do or say to make your pain go away and make things better. GodBless both of you. |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Thanx for your lovely comment Marge - I know that death is a natural part of life but I wish that noone ever had to go through the loss of a child. Thanx for your lovely comment Janet Marie - I don't see it as talent, I just wrote about what the girls mum talked to me about. I actually don't like the structure of the poem but I don't know how to change it to make it better so for the time being I will just leave it. I haven't been very inspired in my poem writing lately. Thanx for your lovely reply Rufff, it was very sweet. But this poem is not actually about me - it is written about a patient that I cared for and her mother and things that she talked to me about. It is a reflection of the pain I could see that she was in. And I beg to differ with you about men being " not supposed to cry" because I think that is total bollocks! That notion is something that macho men of the generations before us created and it is not only untrue but also unhealthy. Crying is a natural release of emotional energy and is a very healthy thing - I have problems in crying myself ( I'm a girl) but I do know that it is a normal, healthy thing to do. It shows that you are a very sensitive, caring person and that is nothing to hide : ) [This message has been edited by Moonshine (edited 02-28-2000).] |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
A heart wrenching piece but beautifully written. God bless you both Elizabeth |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Thanx for your reply and lovely compliment However, this poem was not written as a personal poem but as a reflection on a patient that I cared for last year on prac and her mother - thanx for your concern though, it is sweet |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Losing a child, I'm sure, Is the hardest grief to carry. This is an excellent poem that I am sure will bring comfort to many bereived parents. I'm glad it is not about you. Denise |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Thanx for your reply and compliment Denise - I agree with you, I don't think anything in the world could be worse than losing a child (for me personally)I really felt for the mother and actually developed quite a close relationship with her whils I was working on that particular ward. |
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