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Passions in Poetry

Obscene Alchemy (thanx to bsquirrel )

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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


0 posted 02-24-2000 01:51 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for serenity blaze

((A circle now, from a triangle grew,
after careful honing of edges.
Rounded corners, point retired--
tears and broken pledges.

Pieces of her, all swept up--
like someone scooping dross--
Back turned, discreet,
discarding gross--
to no one mutters, "never was..."
   It wasn't.

Suddenly, (or gradually)
who really pays attention?
An obscene alchemy occurred--
madness re-invented.

A corner made sharp entrance,
and spiked him through the heart...
Summoned priests, arm-in-arm:
"Evil Now Depart."
Chanting now, they all agree,
"she's not what she appears to be."

Total Dose--manna--prescribed,
enough to set sanity reeling.
They chant again, smug in reply:
"You do not know what you are feeling."

A vessel once, now made a sieve.
My friend is dying--
dying to live.
She wants back every piece of her.
Even ugly, burning, hurt.

Every angle meets attack.
Without them all she feels is lack.
Forward?
First, she must go back.

Toes on high-rise,
white on ledge...
"nothing," she sighed,
"has no edge."


'b'squirrel, i hope you'll forgive me for the "borrow,"  it was just one of those lines i loved so much, i had to make explain why.
© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


1 posted 02-24-2000 02:04 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

This is fabulous....Loved it.  Even comes with a moral...LOL  Great poem.


michael
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


2 posted 02-24-2000 10:43 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

wow serenity...this is excellent...and isnt wonderful to be so inspired by someone elses words...its the ultimate compliment to another poet. you have a quite a talent.
take care, janet marie
PS>> now wheres my dictionary...I just gotta know what a couple of those words mean(smile)

 ...there are places inside all our souls...
that have never been touched...
there are places inside our hearts...
that need to be loved this much...
Janet Marie

*I miss you baby...
I love you, always.*

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


3 posted 02-24-2000 10:53 AM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

Some deep images here, dark contrasts against light backgrounds...

Very well written!


Corinne
spiked
Senior Member
since 01-13-2000
Posts 886
Hammond, La USA


4 posted 02-24-2000 03:14 PM       View Profile for spiked   Email spiked   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for spiked

Well written leaves me confused and disoriented at the same time.
Leave it to you to make my head spin serenity.lol
Love the end

Rich
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


5 posted 02-24-2000 05:48 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Michael--worth it just to make you laugh.

Janet Marie--thank you, thank you, for your
         incredibly kind words.

Corinne--much appreciation, I've been
         enjoying your work as well.

Spiked--made your head spin?  Like Linda
        Blair?  Perhaps we should call in a
        couple of priests for you!  But ,
        please, spare me the split-pea soup!
        A special thank you from me to you,
        for all of your kindness, and intro-
        ducing me to the forum.
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


6 posted 02-25-2000 12:15 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Jeez, I never would've noticed this if you hadn't messages me over my latest poem thinking I was mad at you. Funny how things work out.   What can I say? I really enjoyed this poem, and believe me, I have no problem with what you did. All writers borrow from each other. This is taking stuff from other work and giving it a new context -- making it your own. If you'd just set off one of my poems in quotes and called it yours, THEN I'd be mad.   Frankly, I'm a little bit touched that you think enough of my work to give it that treatment. Thanks.

Mike
Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 01-30-2000
Posts 2636
Sippin a Timmy's in London


7 posted 02-25-2000 12:52 AM       View Profile for Rex Allen McCoy   Email Rex Allen McCoy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rex Allen McCoy's Home Page   View IP for Rex Allen McCoy

Hi serenity ... been back to read this poem several times and have come to the conclusion that at best I can only guess as to its meening ... it's starting to haunt me

Rex}<{{{{o>


 I'm not ugly!
I'm just visually challenged!


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


8 posted 02-25-2000 12:53 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Oh no, no, no, all thanks go to you!  23?  You have got to be kidding...
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


9 posted 02-25-2000 12:56 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Nope, not kidding. Believe me, I'd be like most other 23 year olds out here if it weren't for my past, which forced me into a very self-aware, observational, reflective way of dealing with life. Hence my poems, and the sometimes wisdom and experience within. Traumatic childhoods swing both ways -- good and bad.

Mike
 
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