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Open Poetry #6
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As there are stars and storms
| Open Poetry #6 |
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As there are stars and storms |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704
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We question heaven and I see your flashing want of the kiss I hold and struck I wonder are endings but a turning to the new unknown You shake the still places of my loss held quiet and unfurled I am before you and ever are there places we walk undying We catch the dark of unlit stars our breath too softly slow to miss the path of inhalation and always I seek for air I need not breathe The crush of you peeks through my safety that kiss my eyes have hid is quickly stolen and so I storm the sky with search of peace Your trust lifts from me the presence of my defense silent arms louder than a whisper of denial and I question heaven and call the moving clouds to answer 'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kamla, I can only begin to say how amazing I think you are. I must read this again. |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
I have to agree with Martie, you are very talented my friend! Corinne |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Beautiful, girl. When I grow up I wanna write just like you. "and ever are there places we walk undying", Indeed, Severn. Indeed. Michael |
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mirjam Member
since 1999-11-24
Posts 246Auckland, New Zealand |
You shake the still places of my loss held quiet and unfurled i am before you... Man Kamla i have read this 3 times now and every time i read it the lines swirl around my heart, it is your way with words that stirs up such a passion for poetry - what an amazing poem - so full of longing, and question, and frustration, and i dont know... your writing always brings out a SENSE, and sometimes i just can't put my finger on what it is exactly. Keep calling Kamla, the one who made those moving clouds WILL answer. Bless you my dear friend. |
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
I have read this about 6 times now and every time it sounds better and better. I tried to pick favorite lines but I love them all. This poem has the freshest imagery I have read in a long long time... Lord, Severn, this is OUTSTANDING! Extraordinary even...makes me say "DAMN! I Wish I'd written that!" I will look forward to reading more of your work  |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
Excellent as always Kamla. I'm glad you're back and posting. Will look forward to more. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Deep, deeper, deepest... "And always I seek for air I need not breathe--" Sums it up for me in a cosmic heart-beat. Beautiful, thank you. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kamla~ Enchanting and lovely are your thoughts. Big sighs of contentment over this one. What a talent for sending soft flowing streams meandering through my mind. Love ya' gal ... Thanks for the e-mails. I LOVE 'EM. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Kamla, *sighhhhhh* I'm in awe of your talent sweet butterfly. This is breathtaking, extremely beautiful, I loved every single line, from the beginning to the end!! Excellent work as always!!! *hugs* my dear friend. What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Absolutely beautiful, Severn... Like Beki, I'm unable to pick a favorite phrase... all are excellent! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Some day, sweet girl, you're gonna have to tell me how you can make something so beautiful look so easy. You are amazing, my deer. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
Nice poem.Liked this much |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Kamla I wonder if your years will ever catch up to your talent. I doubt it. The Talent has too great a headstart. Amazing, dear Love ya Liz |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Severn. . . You always have a way of making me think. . . and this time is no different. . . these words are so profound, they make me want to discuss the nature of life and the cosmos with you. . . for I am sure that we have the same ideas. . . Wonderful words my friend. . . --------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Wow....incredible work. You speak with a wisdom that few possess. Stunning piece, Severn. *Krista Knutson* "Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul...." ~*Sarah McLachlan- Do What You Have To Do*~ |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Beautiful, as always, Severn!  Denise |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Martie - wow - a re-read! Thanks hon, that is a compliment and that you think I am amazing is also a BIG one...and humbling. Kisses. Corinne - why thankyou - and the same sure goes! Michael - hehehe! I, like you it seems, most definitely have a Peter Pan complex - I ain't never growing up! Thanks my friend. Mirjam - more re-reads! Wow! Hey girl - your replies just boost my feeling of belief in myself - thankyou - now would just go be a misionary or something please? Beki - WOW! MORE re-reads...I am now officially floating...thankyou, thankyou - wow.  Eloise - I'm glad to be back and thanks for replying as I know you have such trouble with your computer. Serenity - 'cosmic heartbeat' - wow, that's a nice way of seeing it! Thanks! Marge(y) - hey, well, I just love YOU. OK? Going to argue?? LOL. Thankyou dear friend - lets meander together down some streams, a nice break from the world. Soul sis - hugs back. And thankYOU - see you soon...hehehe Suthern - thanks! That is a lovely thing to say! 'deer - The Severny One sagely says a simple satisfied shanks.  Vandana - so nice to hear from you - thankyou. Lizzy - only you could say something like that and my friend that is so amazing to me to know you think that - wow!! Thanks dear. Sven - Perhaps we do. Thankyou! Alwye - thanks hon - many say the same of you! Denise - glad you could make it! Hugs. and thanks |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Kamla...absolutely beautiful |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
K There are so many memorable lines in this I hardly know where to start .. so I won't. I'll just say that I read it first a few days ago and even now I'm still finding new angles .. this is a truly good poem Kamla .. so good it's off the freezing scale .. lol P |
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Grandma Jo Member
since 2000-01-02
Posts 51 |
You are GOOD! I just loved this. I have put a copy on my message board in my kitchen. Hope you don't mind. "Words are an extention of the soul... and poetry the most beautiful form of those words!" |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Ruth - why thankyou my friend. Sir P - from you that is an immense compliment - thankyou. Humbly curtsying. Grandma Jo - I mainly brought this up again to say a special thankyou - that really means a lot, and of course I don't mind - I am quite honoured. Thanks. K |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Grrrrrrr quit the "Sir" or I'll side with BD and relocate you .... P |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Amazing my dear, *L* |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Beautiful Severn, just that The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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