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Open Poetry #6
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PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

0 posted 2000-02-23 05:30 PM


Does he look into your eyes
The way I did when you cry?
Maybe it can be that I feel worse
That our parting was on purpose
Hope can be a temporary comfort
When the future doesn’t hold you in it
I can’t explain why you touched me
For a time, the memory, I can’t see
I never go a day without some thought
Of you and the lessons you taught
I know you must dream sometimes
And though they may be crimes;
I’ll steal all that I can
And I’ll be back again and again
Because I know you don’t look in his eyes
Like you did when you looked in mine
It’s a small sacrifice that I pay
It’s a great loss that I bear today



© Copyright 2000 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
1 posted 2000-02-23 06:10 PM


I really liked the flow of this poem. It's very apparent that this person means a great deal to you. I hope they only know it. Keep up the good work.



Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

2 posted 2000-02-23 09:16 PM


Strong words - hope your message wil be heard.

 'Writing sharpens life;
life enriches writing'
Sylvia Plath

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

3 posted 2000-02-24 10:37 PM


Wonderful poem, JML!  

Denise

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
4 posted 2000-02-24 11:45 PM


JML~ this is so full of love. It is also very sad. I really liked it! You write so good.   -SEA
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2000-02-25 03:46 PM


"Hope can be a temporary comfort
When the future doesn’t hold you in it
I can’t explain why you touched me
For a time, the memory, I can’t see
I never go a day without some thought
Of you and the lessons you taught...

Because I know you don’t look in his eyes
Like you did when you looked in mine
It’s a small sacrifice that I pay
It’s a great loss that I bear today"

WOW!!!!...how did I miss this one...I must be slipping in my stalking skills  (can you ever forgive me)

anyway...needless to say...I REALLY was effected by this ones emotions...you write with a quality of aching passion in your words...these are my favorite kind...
so now that I've told you this...you know what to do, right?(smile)
stalk ya later, gator



 ...there are places inside all our souls...
that have never been touched...
there are places inside our hearts...
that need to be loved this much...
Janet Marie

*I miss you baby...
I love you, always.*


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