navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #6 » Broken Ice
Open Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic Broken Ice Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
christies heart
Member
since 1999-08-10
Posts 189
NJ, USA

0 posted 2000-02-22 07:11 AM


The ice on my windshield
is much like my soul,
determined and strong when new.
Yet tap long enough
on the same solid spot,
and soon you are bound to break through.

For with just the first crack
of this once solid form
pieces break quickly away,
until what was once sturdy
losses its hold,
along with the will to stay.

Soon it is melting,
the ice and my soul,
it crumbles like all broken dreams.
The rock of its being
was a simple mirrage,  
that flows away now in crystalized streams.
< !signature-->

 Grant that I may not judge my niegbor until I have walked a mile in his moccasians

Native American prayer



[This message has been edited by christies heart (edited 02-22-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Christine R - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2000-02-22 07:34 AM


ChristiesHeart~
I like the image of the
ice cracking ... love sometimes
has to enter through the melting.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

2 posted 2000-02-22 11:44 AM


An excellent analogy, Christie, and very well delivered...liked this one!

Claire

January Flowers
Member
since 2000-02-01
Posts 209
South Carolina
3 posted 2000-02-22 11:53 AM


Christies Heart~
Your choice of wording in this writing
is simply remarkable.
You have taken a very abstract emotional state
and described in comparrison so perfectly
how a heart can become shielded.
I LOVE THIS ONE!
Great Job.

January Flowers
Member
since 2000-02-01
Posts 209
South Carolina
4 posted 2000-02-22 12:15 PM


...or would that be
"unshielded"?

christies heart
Member
since 1999-08-10
Posts 189
NJ, USA
5 posted 2000-02-22 04:05 PM


Marge..thank you for your thoughtful response. You are so right about love breaking through. This poem, though, is written for my sister who is dealing with the conflict that happens when love for another is sometimes not enough..and how a person can wear your self esteem down. This hardness or "wall" is not the defensive kind..its the kind of self love and strength. Sometimes as you say, love has to break through. In this case it would be self love I suppose! : : :

Claire..Thanks for such a nice response and for reading my poem.  

January Flowers...I really appreciate your kind words. As I wrote about the meaning of the poem in my life I did wonder if the heart in someways is becoming shilded in another way by the melting away of its strength.....   

 Grant that I may not judge my niegbor until I have walked a mile in his moccasians

Native American prayer



Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #6 » Broken Ice

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary