WOW... damn...this one is EXCELLENT! unique presentation, and such vivid emotion stated...
"i. upstairs Do you feel lonely? Sex, suicide sometimes soothes, But need breaks us first. ii. living room Hold onto that note, Crying in penmanship form. She told you last night."
these lines got me! great work take care, janet marie
I love you Is all that you can't say- Years gone by and still... Words don't come easily Like I love you, I love you... But you can say baby... Baby can I hold you tonight Maybe if I told you the right words At the right time you'd be mine... Tracy Chapman
Member Rara Avis
You always give me something new, Mike. This piece is disturbing, of course, but even more, it takes the reader on a tour of that "edge of the edge" state that is so hard to describe in words alone. Good writing, and I agree with you on the ending...the "too" pulls it all together.
Marge, Glad you enjoyed, or were at least impressed.
Meadowmuse, Your "edge of the edge" response inspired me to write a new poem (nothing has no edge). Believe me, that state is something I'm an expert at. Luckily, the self-destruction, at least on a physical level, isn't real.
January Flowers, (damn I love that name) Glad you enjoyed. And yeah, it's definitely not a common viewpoint.