navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #6 » Forever Out ... For Christie's Heart
Open Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic Forever Out ... For Christie's Heart Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263


0 posted 2000-02-21 09:45 AM




Forever Out



I have stared forever out and
toward the lulling, pulling sea.
I have searched within the darkness
of the empty ocean of me.

I have crawled through days unending
with soggy sand in lieu of heart.
Through remaining, hulking ruins
of castle dreams I'd dared to start.

I have turned and walked back slowly
to that helpless stone~still child
whose innocent eyes upon me,
long replaced with something wild,

Had given up on the elderfolk
and fairy angels she would read
to free her from the filthy
knotted nettles of demons' deeds.

Whose far~off gaze would lie
while little arms and knees were muddied
to hide the pain of five year old flesh
being bruised, ripped open and bloodied.

Whose secret prayers and lullabyes
could never so much as be heard,
though that child, always silent,
knew each syllable of every word.

And the sometimes when
she trusts enough to hold her close to me,
are the times I breathe against her
and I feel her feel the sea.

And the sands are dry and warming now
and urging us to start
building castles, true and towering,
along the beaches of our heart.



Dear LadyClaire



© Copyright 2000 Meadowmuse - All Rights Reserved
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
1 posted 2000-02-21 09:50 AM


Claire...this is beautiful. Any poem about the ocean always strikes a chord with me. Nicely done  
Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
2 posted 2000-02-21 09:55 AM


This is beautiful Claire ... you write with such passion ... it takes my breath away and fills my heart with the song of your choosing

Rex}<{{{{o>

Fred Hobbs
Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 329
Tallahassee, Florida, US
3 posted 2000-02-21 11:24 AM


Great poem Claire, I love the imagery and the pace.

fh

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

4 posted 2000-02-21 04:54 PM


Hoot Owl...Thank you. I agree...the ocean is a wonderful metaphorical tool for writers, as within its realm can be found the full range of human emotion.

Rex...I'm glad to know your heart is full of music.   Thanks for reading.

Fred...Thank you, Fred, for your thoughtful response. So glad you enjoyed this one.

Claire

Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

5 posted 2000-02-21 05:01 PM


I have came back and read for the third time and suspect I will return again.  
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
6 posted 2000-02-21 05:16 PM


Loud approval here, Claire. This is excellent. What a style you have  
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

7 posted 2000-02-21 06:14 PM


Stunning - absolutely stunning!!


My favourite verse - though hard to pick, is this:

And the sometimes when
she trusts enough to hold her close to me,
are the times I breathe against her
and I feel her feel the sea.

I know that sense of feeling the ocean running through you.

K

 'Writing sharpens life;
life enriches writing'
Sylvia Plath

HelmutB
Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964
Canada
8 posted 2000-02-21 06:28 PM


My Lady
A dream enchantingly painted, that you do
The Ocean the Sea a dream come true
Your certainly know how to dream in style and art
"along the beaches of our heart."
This line alone so deep the thought
L. & S.P.
((((you))))




 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.


Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
9 posted 2000-02-21 10:25 PM


Stunning, Meadowmuse.  I too love poetry written with an ocean theme.  Lovely work, as always.  

 *Krista Knutson*

"Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul...." ~*Sarah McLachlan- Do What You Have To Do*~


Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

10 posted 2000-02-21 11:15 PM


Thanks to all who read and responded. I'm grateful that this work touched someone in something of a positive way.

Claire  

Eloise
Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096
Wyoming
11 posted 2000-02-21 11:44 PM


Claire, I do enjoy reading all of your work.  I don't alway have the time to respond, but all of your work is so outstanding.  And this  is another example of excellence  
Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
12 posted 2000-02-22 01:11 AM


Clair, I love it, I love it, I love it.

Parker

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
13 posted 2000-02-22 01:18 AM


Claire~
Again you've tendered a work of art.
Stunning.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


christies heart
Member
since 1999-08-10
Posts 189
NJ, USA
14 posted 2000-02-22 06:38 AM


Meadowmuse, This is a powerful and wonderful poem. Thank you so much for sharing that with me in response to my poem. You paint a clear picture and I read this poem several times. Maybe it is my own experiences and the meaning I see in this poem, but I do not feel peace. And I don't get the feeling that peace is the intention. I see the hope and the ever-so-slow growth of a soul who wants to find such peace. This put together so many themes and struggles that really touch me. Thank you so much for sharing. I would like to also share an older post (which I will post agian here) with you. It is called "She Carried Dolls". Again, this poem is inspiring and evokes a variety of feeling...Christie

 Grant that I may not judge my niegbor until I have walked a mile in his moccasians

Native American prayer


Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
15 posted 2000-02-22 07:05 AM


I read with heartache this poem about sexual abuse, perhaps someone you know. It is a difficult subject, but you write it so beautifully, and I have no doubts that you would.
Liz

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

16 posted 2000-02-22 10:27 AM


Eloise...Thank you, and please don't worry about not responding to my work. I also read more than I am able to respond to, and I imagine most folks here do the same. There is so much exceptional poetry shared on this board every day, one cannot possibly respond to every piece (and still have a life!). I'm glad you enjoyed this one, Eloise.

Parker...thank you, thank you, thank you!  

Marge...and again, I must thank you for reading. Your words are much appreciated.

Christie...yes, you have interpreted this poem very perceptively. I did not intend for the end to seem like a "happily ever after" by any means. Instead, I wished to show that there is a degree of hope present, but that my healing is, indeed, a long, slow and difficult struggle of self, and something that can only be realized by giving the little one inside time and space to trust. Thank you, so much, for reading this and responding not only here, but with your "She Carried Dolls." I was able to read it earlier this morning, and did respond, but then had to get away for a bit, into the fresh air, to remind myself that what is "now" is not what was "then." Peace in healing to you, Christie, and thank you.

Liz...thank you, and yes, it is about someone I know...myself. I'm glad you were touched by this piece, Liz. Thanks for reading it.

Claire  

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

17 posted 2000-02-22 03:39 PM


Claire this is an excellent piece of writing. You, too, deal with your emotional pain very well in your writing!    

Denise

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
18 posted 2000-02-22 03:55 PM


You have reflected on such an uncomfortable and bitter happening with such grace!  I admire the care you are taking with writing on such a powerful subject.  It shows your strength.
christies heart
Member
since 1999-08-10
Posts 189
NJ, USA
19 posted 2000-02-22 04:32 PM


Claire..Just one more thing..before I get back to the now.. I think it says so much of your own strength and healing the way you can are able to speak openly, without any of the so often present, but unthinkable shame that often comes with the start of healing. It shows me you have had a long road behind you and you most certainly are able to live mostly in the present. Very important for me to..  (for the present)
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
20 posted 2000-02-22 04:52 PM


The first verse took my breath away... I don't have it back yet... this kind of power has "been there" written all over it... wow!
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

21 posted 2000-02-22 06:36 PM


Denise...writing is definitely an important outlet for me. Thank you so much for
your kind response.

Martie...it is a strength that I have fought to attain, and sometimes still have to remind myself that I have. Thank you for reading my work and for such a nice response.

Christie...thank you. Living in the present is a daily challenge for those of us who have spent so much time hiding in the shame and shadows of our past. Some days are better than others, but still we must face forward, if we can. In coming to terms with the horror of the past, you must allow yourself the gentle but firm grasp of a healing hand from within the here and now...your own.
Take care, and face forward...Claire

Suthern...I'm glad you were touched by this, but sorry about your breathing!   Thanks for reading.


Claire




Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

22 posted 2000-02-24 11:06 AM


"Whose secret prayers and lullabyes
could never so much as be heard,
though that child, always silent,
knew each syllable of every word.

And the sometimes when
she trusts enough to hold her close to me,
are the times I breathe against her
and I feel her feel the sea.

And the sands are dry and warming now
and urging us to start
building castles, true and towering,
along the beaches of our heart."

this poem is amazing and deeply touching... I came here today in search of it...due to words of another admirer of it...im sorry i missed it before...I hope you dont mind me bringing it back up...thank you for sharing your wisdom and pain. I respect your courage and honesty. take care, janet marie



 ...there are places inside all our souls...
that have never been touched...
there are places inside our hearts...
that need to be loved this much...
Janet Marie

*I miss you baby...
I love you, always.*


Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
23 posted 2000-02-24 11:51 AM


High marks for the poem and the person who wrote it.  I can only echo the praises written above.
Very nice,
Danny

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #6 » Forever Out ... For Christie's Heart

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary