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Open Poetry #6
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Defeated
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Defeated |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA 
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(I'm going to blame this one on 4 AM thoughts of an over stressed mind) Defeated Within this heart, the battle’s ending With walls and armor, I’m defending And love, it be the cost From these eyes, cold tears, I’m crying You the Victor; I am dying I’ve fought hard and lost From your temple, I am falling In the dark, your name, I’m calling You don’t seem to hear And as the morning’s fast approaching Our love was once beyond reproaching But now, the end is near Our love was once beyond reproaching And as the morning’s fast approaching In the dark, your name, I’m calling While from your temple, I am falling You the Victor; I am dying From these eyes, cold tears, I’m crying With walls and armor, I’m defending But in this heart, the battle’s ending I call your name and you don’t hear Our love, it be the cost With your silence, the end is near I’ve fought hard, the battle’s lost < !signature--> Have you ever noticed That the words... "Goodbye" "I'm sorry" "I love you" Are so easy to pronounce ...Yet so hard to say ~Javan [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 02-20-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
This is beautiful and sorrowful, Hoot Owl, and so aptly titled. I'm hoping you were not writing this from personal perspective, but from creative and poetic perception.  |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Well, I see nothing worng with the 4 am thing. You seem to be very creative at 4 am because this is another piece of art you have done here. May you never be defeated. Beautiful poem Ruth. Shall I ring the alarm at 4 am tomorrow.... The stressed part, yes that can go. Hugs and Love (and a Prayer for thee) The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Ruth, I do believe this is one of your best poems yet, even though I think all your poems are excellent to say the least. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Excellent! But you need to get rid of the stress and sleep! |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
A great friend of mine once told me "to conquer, one must first understand the consequences of defeat, only then will you truly know what it is you are fighting for." Ruth, you've brought tears to my eyes with this one, (as you so often do). You paint a very sorrowful yet beautiful picture. Very nicely done, ma'am. Chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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Julie Senior Member
since 1999-08-20
Posts 739Houston, TX |
Just lovely Hoot. I know I have felt this way. You put it so eloquently. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Claire...I wish I could say it wasn't written from personal perspective, but I can't...thank you for your kind words Helmut...just remember, my body's used to being awake at four AM...thank you my dear friend Lost Dreamer...thank you and to think I almost didn't post it PDV...they may not appreciate me sleeping on the job and the stress thing, well I'm trying...thank you Chris...thank you for the quote and for the lovely reply Julie...thank you |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ruth, you have voiced so beautifully the pain that is in your heart. Wonderful poetry! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Ruth Honey, this is really beautiful, sad but beautiful. Excellent work Ruth!! *as always* What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Ruth once again you tear my eyes and pull my heart strings. Beautiful and sad. You are never defeated unless you give up. And you're just to strong to do that! My prayers are with you Ruth! <*\\\>< There's only two ways you can go... One way you can save your riches, And the other will save your soul. Rich Mullins |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
So - Does that mean it's all gonna get better from here on out?? I think so... Rest, my friend... All will be well.. |
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Shelley Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 263Ohio, USA |
I always enjoy reading your poems. It's amazing what 4am can do with a creative mind. I like the way this is writen. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Martie, DA, Whtdove, Shelly and Nan...thank you all so very much |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Your stress has produced a work of art, Ruth. This is beautiful! Writing is one of the best outlets, I have found. HUGS Denise |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
no kidding denise a work of art is true...this poem is like breathing in a deep painful breath and then slowly breathing it out just the same.....nothing changes but it brings a small relief...like a sigh...great job |
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One Who Understands Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 251Cedar Rapids, Iowa |
Always a pleasure to share your pain and struggles. I know where you are coming from with the 4-in the morning thing |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
this poem is Excellent... very well written and expressed... tragicly beautiful... Isnt poeticly ironic that our best work comes in the late hours of the nite...but I'll take sweet inspiration when ever it comes...regardless of the hour  take care...janet marie I love you Is all that you can't say- Years gone by and still... Words don't come easily Like I love you, I love you... But you can say baby... Baby can I hold you tonight Maybe if I told you the right words At the right time you'd be mine... Tracy Chapman |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Ruth~ I just want to give you a great big hug. Be kind to yourself, lady. Take it easy and know when to say when. Love to you. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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nonsense New Member
since 2000-02-20
Posts 8 |
Very intense. I so have been there before, this really made me feel emotion in so many different areas. Beautiful work. Nichole |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Hoot Owl I really like the line "from these eyes cold tears I'm crying. Very beautiful writing. I'm sorry you are hurting. James |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Hoot, This prooves my theory that the best poetry is written between 3 and 4 a.m. And this is among the best Liz |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Thanks everyone...played with the rhythm and rhyme a bit on this one....I'm glad you enjoyed it, wasn't sure how it would be recieved |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Ruth, this is excellent writing |
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