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Passions in Poetry

remember my redhead friend when I was 5

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Chris Goodman
Member
since 01-28-2000
Posts 95
Issaquah, Washington usa


0 posted 02-19-2000 11:39 PM       View Profile for Chris Goodman   Email Chris Goodman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Chris Goodman

Chubby little
one come over
and play with my toes
tickle my cheek with
that freckled nose
kiss my dainty
with pink pink lips
make me laugh
with that red ball
flame
a mixture
of love and play
is something
that holds
so dear
must i say
i enjoy your tea
sipping and smiling
as we play footsie
giggles and sunshine
bring up my rose
that grown anytime
i feel froze
in time
and in body
I lie down on the grass
with hand in hand
its time we collapse
into each other like
falling leaves
we come up for one reason
our reason to breath
in the air as we
catch a glimpse
our future together
is like an eclipse
that hangs so brightly
over our world only
if only
this last laughter
would last forever
young tender kiddies
having fun together



 Blue Moon
© Copyright 2000 Chris Goodman - All Rights Reserved
bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


1 posted 02-20-2000 12:13 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Hi, Chris. I enjoyed this. The only thing that kinda ... sticks with me in a not-as-good way is the imagery, which at least to me, at this hour, seems very sexual; the way you chose to describe things. Is that right for five years old? I dunno about that part, but I liked your wording and pacing nonetheless.

maybe it's just me.

Mike
Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


2 posted 02-20-2000 12:22 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

ChrisG~
I love this.
I can just see two little five year-olds
cavorting and laughing and having great fun.

Funny, it's something I also remember
with my little sister and with my little
brother.  

Redheads are a favorite of mine.
Five and fabulously free of heart and spirit.
~*Marge*~




 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Chris Goodman
Member
since 01-28-2000
Posts 95
Issaquah, Washington usa


3 posted 02-20-2000 12:22 AM       View Profile for Chris Goodman   Email Chris Goodman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Chris Goodman

Do you ever remember just "playing" and being "free"?  I think I do sometimes & everything as a child was very innocent and sometimes indecent.  As children we learn to be embarrased for exploration & imagination, but as adults we are still unforgiven as ever.  I wasn't setting a sexual tone for this particular piece however I was striving for pure feelings based on how we have feelings that never die.  
This red-head friend of mine I met in Witchita Kansas when my mother moved our family there (again) and this red-head friend was a little girl that told me she was flying to California to see family.  She was only to be gone for two weeks.  I waited by her door almost everyday.  My mother told me her and her family weren't coming home because they had been killed by a train "this last laughter".  Anyway, kind of sad.  At that age I didn't really know what death meant, but she sure was a lot of fun as a kiddie.
Chris

 Blue Moon


[This message has been edited by Chris Goodman (edited 02-20-2000).]
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


4 posted 02-20-2000 12:26 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Chris,
Didn't mean to offend, as I obviously did from reading your defensive response. I'm just saying some of the word choices are decidedly adult and don't reflect a five year old's mindset. Yes, I know about having fun. Even now, I refuse to take things for granted, and that's something a lot of people do all the time -- the adult equivalent of "fun" I guess.

I don't want to ruin your tribute though, so let's just drop this whole thing. I still do like the poem.

Mike
jbowie
Member
since 02-18-2000
Posts 137
BANGOR (that OR) ME


5 posted 02-20-2000 12:38 AM       View Profile for jbowie   Email jbowie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jbowie

bsquirrel, don't worry chris would not take offense, he was just claering his message. Funny though chris, I had a redhead girl next door when I was seven who was killed in a car accident while on vacation. Hurt for a time, and I guess still sits there somewhere in my heart. nice job. James
 
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