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Open Poetry #6
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Julie
Senior Member
since 1999-08-20
Posts 739
Houston, TX

0 posted 2000-02-19 08:55 PM


The Derelict

His mind was ancient,
a body basked in bacteria;
in the mysterious islands
off the Caribbean.
Just a flea-bitten bum
that stumbles and cries;
his lips mealy,
chapped and dry.
His flesh was mangled,
as if nails were forced
through his crippled hands.
Reeking of grog;
croaking, then belching,
carrying on in jangle;
chitter-chatter, babble.
Noisily quarreling
to the very verge of hysteria.
Choking on a nauseating breath
cascading
into a bed of slumber
beneath
that same ole' bridge
of lumber.


 Julie
-------------------------
[i]Your most prized possessions will be what you hold in your heart not in your hand.



© Copyright 2000 Julie - All Rights Reserved
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

1 posted 2000-02-19 10:46 PM


Julie, this is excellent writing! Really vivid images...what a portrait you have painted with this piece...keep painting!

Claire

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

2 posted 2000-02-19 10:51 PM


Julie this is a remarkable, thought provoking piece. It reminds me of Our Lord saying that whatever we do to the least of these, we do unto Him. He didn't conditon this with 'unless they are there by their own doing'. I think we all need this 'perspective jogger' from time to time, being thankful, of course, for what we have, but also to see with new eyes of compassion for the less fortunate! Thank you!

Love ya
Denise

Julie
Senior Member
since 1999-08-20
Posts 739
Houston, TX
3 posted 2000-02-19 11:14 PM


Meadowmuse, thank you for your ever so kind comments. I really enjoy writing this way and an audience as you is the reason. I call these pieces fiction but there is always truth peeking out waiting for discovery.

And Denise you did discover. Thank you for taking the time to read.  

Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
4 posted 2000-02-20 10:00 AM


Excellent imagery Julie .... WOW .. A great piece of writing here !!!
This is definetly one of my favorites by you ........

 A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!
Shannon






Julie
Senior Member
since 1999-08-20
Posts 739
Houston, TX
5 posted 2000-02-20 12:36 PM


Pepper your words are certainly an encouragement. So off to never-never land to wade in the sand of words to be told to return to Passions and let them all unfold.
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