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Passions in Poetry

Endless Eternity

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Jone
Junior Member
since 02-05-2000
Posts 41


0 posted 02-19-2000 07:54 PM       View Profile for Jone   Email Jone   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jone

Tomorrow brings what today has.
Today has what tomorrow will bring.

Peace and love control our lives,
Our lives cannot be controlled.

Life is made of our realizations,
Of who,
What,
We are.

We don't take opportunities,
Because we fear the outcome.
If we do not take our opportunities,
Then it is our fault.
We didn't make the move,
We didn't make the decision,
It was our fault.
It is not that we are not good enough,
We just didn't place ourselves there.

Life cannot continue like this,
We must stand,
Stand tall,
Stand proud,
Stand out there.

You cannot hide in a maze,
A maze created by your own mind.
You are your own worst enemy.
You keep yourself back,
You and only you.

Others may try,
But you can control how others treat you.
It's is pure joy when you finally,
Finally control yourself.

Put yourself out there,
True gain comes from true risk,
Life and love are risk and gain.
Make a choice,
Take a risk.
Love yourself...




[This message has been edited by Jone (edited 02-22-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Jone - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


1 posted 02-19-2000 10:37 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

excellent work

You cannot hide in a maze,
A maze created by your own mind.
You are your own worst enemy.
You keep yourself back,
You and only you....

words of wisdom...great job...
janet marie

 Now for me some words come easy...
But I know that they don't mean that much
Compared with the things that are said when lovers touch.
You never knew what I loved in you--
I don't know what you loved in me...
Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be...
How long have I been sleeping-
How long have I been drifting alone through the night...
How long have I've dreaming I could make it right...
If I closed my eyes and tried with all my might
To be the one you need...
Jackson Browne


Jone
Junior Member
since 02-05-2000
Posts 41


2 posted 02-20-2000 03:26 PM       View Profile for Jone   Email Jone   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jone

thanx for the reply
Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 12-26-1999
Posts 5512
Ontario, CANADA


3 posted 02-20-2000 04:42 PM       View Profile for Honeybee   Email Honeybee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Honeybee


Jone:

Out of all of the poems that have been posted here in the last few months, this is perhaps the most insightful.  Excellent poem, I was impressed.  These are definately words to live by, if only everyone actually listened to such good advice.

The lines that struck me were "you cannot hide in a maze, a maze created by your own mind, you are your own worst enemy, you keep yourself back, you and only you." WOW! and "make a choice, take a risk, love yourself," this especially made me think because I often struggle with this.
If only everyone could learn to fully accept themselves and love themselves then the world would be at their fingertips, we could achieve anything.  Great words of wisdom, my friend. I look forward to reading more work by you.

I do have one criticism, however, the line "peace and love control our lives, our lives cannot be controlled."  This line does make sense to me, I know what you are trying to say, but, the line is also a contradiction and I didn't like it.  You say that love and peace control our lives, but then you contradict it by saying our lives cannot be controlled.  It doesn't flow, in my opinion.  I would rather peace and love control my life than alcohal or an adidiction, etc.  So, if you are trying to say that life cannot be controlled, then why say that something does control it afterall, it contradicts your point.  But, I still enjoyed this poem immensly.

Take care,
Melissa Honeybee  
Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 12-26-1999
Posts 5512
Ontario, CANADA


4 posted 02-20-2000 04:46 PM       View Profile for Honeybee   Email Honeybee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Honeybee


Wow Chris, this poem is so powerful.  You never cease to amaze me with your words.
Excellent poem!  Applause!  

Take care,
Melissa Honeybee
Jone
Junior Member
since 02-05-2000
Posts 41


5 posted 02-20-2000 10:07 PM       View Profile for Jone   Email Jone   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jone

THank you for your insights into my poetry

i like to explain myself so i thought that i would

"peace and love control our lives, our lives cannot be controlled."

you will often find contradictions in my works.... i blieve that life is one big contradiction and that there is no uniform or pattern to anything and that anything that is possible also isn't...
it is confusing

it was also a way of saying... if peace and love control our lives, and that our lives cannot be controled.. that peace and love cannot truly control our lives unless we want them too.
Jone
Junior Member
since 02-05-2000
Posts 41


6 posted 02-21-2000 11:41 PM       View Profile for Jone   Email Jone   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jone

.
Parker
Member Elite
since 01-06-2000
Posts 3135
... the old black rum


7 posted 02-22-2000 01:15 AM       View Profile for Parker   Email Parker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Parker's Home Page   View IP for Parker

Jone, Good advice, great poem. I'll be looking for more.

Parker
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


8 posted 02-22-2000 01:22 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Jone~
I really like this.
Contradictions are really a part of our lives, are they not?
Wonderfully thought out and presented.
Enjoyed much.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

christies heart
Member
since 08-10-99
Posts 192
NJ, USA


9 posted 02-22-2000 06:56 AM       View Profile for christies heart   Email christies heart   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for christies heart

I loved this and also think that contradictions are sometimes why people have such trouble with taking "control". Live is often about contradictions and mixed emotions.
Jone
Junior Member
since 02-05-2000
Posts 41


10 posted 02-22-2000 05:27 PM       View Profile for Jone   Email Jone   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jone

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