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Passions in Poetry

Tell me what you want!

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Brent Hotchkin
Junior Member
since 02-15-2000
Posts 46
Florida,USA


0 posted 02-19-2000 06:27 PM       View Profile for Brent Hotchkin   Email Brent Hotchkin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Brent Hotchkin

Tell me what you want!

As I sit here pretending.
I know what it wants.
I can barely hear myself thinking.
Over the incessant taunts.

If I knew what you wanted.
I would do it I swear!
You leave me confused.
While Iím pacing.
You just sit there and stare.

Youíre always with me.
I canít tell the difference
Between your thoughts and mine.
Tell me what you want.
With your voice so divine.

I feel you pulling me
Away from the struggle.
But I still cling
In a defiant rebuttal.

If I leave everything behind.
For destination nowhere.
Can I have your word?
That we will find happiness there.

I can feel you in my heart.
The burn is like fire.
I just canít figure out.
What it is you desire.

While this sense of confusion
Constantly surrounds me.
In everything
Insignificance drowns me.

Every time I think
I have found the right path.
I can see you soul
As you sit there and laugh.

Why do I feel out of place?
Why do I care?
Why when I pace?
You just sit there and stare


© Copyright 2000 Brent Hotchkin - All Rights Reserved
Dawn Eclipse
Senior Member
since 01-31-2000
Posts 640
The Horsehead Nebula


1 posted 02-19-2000 09:45 PM       View Profile for Dawn Eclipse   Email Dawn Eclipse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dawn Eclipse

Brent~

Very good poem.  You illustrate your point very vividly.  This is the first poem I have seen you write, so I look forward to reading some more.  

Dawn Eclipse
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


2 posted 02-19-2000 09:57 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

You pose some interesting and important questions in this poem. It can relate to many different situations. I hope you find that answer to the questions you pose.  
Brent Hotchkin
Junior Member
since 02-15-2000
Posts 46
Florida,USA


3 posted 02-20-2000 05:25 AM       View Profile for Brent Hotchkin   Email Brent Hotchkin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Brent Hotchkin

Thank you Dawn. My sisters name is Dawn. I am glad you liked it.

Thanks Marilyn. I hope I find the answers as well. I think I know the answerd I am jus making it hard on myself. I have a few things hold ing me here. and I get metaphoricaly clostrophobic.
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


4 posted 02-20-2000 04:42 PM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Ugh...I can feel your aggrivation and frustration dripping off of this piece!     Whew....glad someone else knows how it feels.  I've been there, and done all the things you speak of!  I don't wish that on anyone....so life-sucking it is...
devina
Member Elite
since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


5 posted 02-20-2000 07:01 PM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

Frustration, unfortunantly is one of life's must's!! Been there, done all of that m'self...sometimes being single has it's advantages!!!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 09-06-99
Posts 6390
Sunny Queensland


6 posted 02-20-2000 07:44 PM       View Profile for Isis   Email Isis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Isis's Home Page   View IP for Isis

Great poem Brent!  Know that feeling well.  It seems to me you know the answers, now you have to find the courage to do something about it.  (HUGS)

 May the world hug you today,
With it's warmth and love.
I pray it whispers a joyful tune in your heart,
That tell you there is a friend sitting in another corner of the world,
Wishing you well and
wishing you love......
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)


Brent Hotchkin
Junior Member
since 02-15-2000
Posts 46
Florida,USA


7 posted 02-21-2000 12:22 AM       View Profile for Brent Hotchkin   Email Brent Hotchkin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Brent Hotchkin

Yes devina I often miss those advantages.

Thank you Icis. You made my day.
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