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Passions in Poetry

PleaseRead- Candy in the Garden of Eden

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Ophelia Speaks
Junior Member
since 02-18-2000
Posts 11
suburbia, IL


0 posted 02-18-2000 09:21 PM       View Profile for Ophelia Speaks   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ophelia Speaks




I cry for you no longer.
keep your sugar coated kisses that freely tumble off your candy lips
that smiled to kill
what faith was left inside me
of hollow spaces
open you up and see how many ribs you are missing
of how many Eves you’ve created out of the dust
only to feed them the fruit of rejection
with a glass of nectar and ambrosia
hoping it will make you
invincible
from the serpents slithering about my feet
but even serpents can have candy smiles too.


This is for a guy who I love enough to watch him hurt me.
© Copyright 2000 Megan - All Rights Reserved
Wizzard
Member
since 02-09-2000
Posts 235


1 posted 02-18-2000 09:27 PM       View Profile for Wizzard   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Wizzard

Nice job with expressing yourself here Opheli.....But that last statement is very disturbing...

"This is for a guy who I love enough to watch him hurt me."

I have so much I would like to say about that statement...but like another poet once said...I`ll keep my opinion in my pocket.
Thank`s for the read and Take care.

 Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
And the begining of a new one.

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


2 posted 02-18-2000 09:31 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

I ditto the wizzard
A strong statement
Liz
Chris Goodman
Member
since 01-28-2000
Posts 95
Issaquah, Washington usa


3 posted 02-19-2000 12:12 AM       View Profile for Chris Goodman   Email Chris Goodman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Chris Goodman

I really loved your poem & I too have been stupid enough to sit back & watch the ones I love hurt me.  I am well poised & put up with alot.
Chris

 Blue Moon
Shelley
Member
since 01-27-2000
Posts 269
Ohio, USA


4 posted 02-19-2000 12:12 AM       View Profile for Shelley   Email Shelley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Shelley

I guess this is what you would call bitter sweet. I like it in a strange sort of way.
Good Job!
CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 02-14-2000
Posts 700
USA


5 posted 02-19-2000 12:16 AM       View Profile for CMGrimm   Email CMGrimm   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CMGrimm

Wonderful piece Liz...but I too must follow the advice of a fellow poet and "keep my opinion in my pocket"

Even still, this is a wonderful piece of writing.  Thanks for sharing with us this deep side of your emotions and pain.

Chris


 Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON.
sonjes
Senior Member
since 02-18-2000
Posts 573
North Carolina


6 posted 02-19-2000 12:19 AM       View Profile for sonjes   Email sonjes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sonjes

You created a picture of one of many exes.  you illustrated him to a tee, and that is scary!  Keep writing and I will keep reading!
Ophelia Speaks
Junior Member
since 02-18-2000
Posts 11
suburbia, IL


7 posted 02-19-2000 12:01 PM       View Profile for Ophelia Speaks   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ophelia Speaks

Although it may not sound like it, writing this was actually my first step to getting over this guy.  Its kindof a weird situation but i was just getting sick of waiting for him so this is more of a conqering poem letting him know im finished rather than a victim one.  thanks for the feedback
Parker
Member Elite
since 01-06-2000
Posts 3135
... the old black rum


8 posted 02-19-2000 07:06 PM       View Profile for Parker   Email Parker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Parker's Home Page   View IP for Parker

Ophelia, I really like the poem, good luck in putting him behind you, where he belongs.

Parker
seraphin
Senior Member
since 09-24-2000
Posts 997
Michigan


9 posted 10-07-2000 11:55 PM       View Profile for seraphin   Email seraphin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for seraphin

Like all your work I've read so far, this too is very, very good. I look forward to reading more.
 
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