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Passions in Poetry

When you think you're getting on top of things again and you fall back off...

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mete out
Member
since 02-16-2000
[First Post] 273
england


0 posted 02-17-2000 04:49 AM       View Profile for mete out   Email mete out   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for mete out

    --Symptom--
I push all this **** to the back of my mind as I am awake,
But it all comes spilling back out as soon as my eyes are shut.
All I can do is sit and let my paranoia take control.
My brain is flooded with angst and torment.
I take one step forward and a lifetime back.

Despit all this you still love me and as a result Ia m so scared for you;
My ability to hurt and maim seems at it's strongest flow,.
All I seem to do is is kick, bruise and drag you through my deficiencies time and time again.
I keep telling myself that this is forever and real,
And whilst I believe, I do not understand what it is I offer you.

I feel that I am a symptom of other peoples hate and indecision,
I feel almost sure that I'm not imagining their mere tolerance of me-
But I can never be sure of what I feel because before you came into my life,
I barely even existed let alone lived.

I long for the ability of reasoning, to work out where I went wrong,
I long for the words to tell you how much I love you,
I long for an end to this struggle and hate and torture,

Why can't I shake this feeling?
This creeping, dreaded feeling.
I thought it was long gone,
Left in the past,
Buried, along with my regret and my longing for something to change.

But all of a sudden it's back again.
Maybe it was never really gone in the first place,
Maybe I'd pushed it all to the back of my mind,
But my dreams have become a reality,
And it's all come spilling out again.
© Copyright 2000 Louise Parsons - All Rights Reserved
Wizzard
Member
since 02-09-2000
Posts 235


1 posted 02-17-2000 05:35 AM       View Profile for Wizzard   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Wizzard

Sound`s kinda like a bad dream.
I hope that with the circle of friends here at Passions your able to over come what troubles you.
Good luck and Welcome To Passions


 Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
And the begining of a new one.

binky_bec
New Member
since 02-10-2000
Posts 7


2 posted 02-17-2000 05:47 AM       View Profile for binky_bec   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for binky_bec

i seem to be feeling much the same way as you describe. very confused i am indeed. i just need some sort of reassurance.
this is a great poem. very real.

bec
infinat3 sadn3ss
Member
since 02-14-2000
Posts 86
somerset england


3 posted 02-17-2000 06:10 AM       View Profile for infinat3 sadn3ss   Email infinat3 sadn3ss   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for infinat3 sadn3ss

sometimes i wonder if i know myself . i always come to the conclusion that i dont and never will . one thing that helps me feel better though is that i have you as a friend . Ryan is very lucky even if you think different .
love always
cabes
infinat3 sadn3ss
Member
since 02-14-2000
Posts 86
somerset england


4 posted 02-17-2000 06:14 AM       View Profile for infinat3 sadn3ss   Email infinat3 sadn3ss   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for infinat3 sadn3ss

sometimes i wonder if i know myself . i always come to the conclusion that i dont and never will . one thing that helps me feel better though is that i have you as a friend . Ryan is very lucky even if you think different .
love always
cabes
tulip
Member
since 07-04-99
Posts 324
unknown


5 posted 02-17-2000 09:12 PM       View Profile for tulip   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for tulip

Mete,
Sounds like someone I know!  I know you'll make it through it, we always find the strength somewhere...
mete out
Member
since 02-16-2000
Posts 273
england


6 posted 02-18-2000 06:09 AM       View Profile for mete out   Email mete out   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mete out

Thanks Tulip..
It seems we have stuff in common.
As long as your words crop up, I'll be reading.
Thanks again......Mete   xxx  


 I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.
Cerenity
Member Elite
since 02-16-2000
Posts 2712
Escondido-California


7 posted 02-20-2000 11:26 AM       View Profile for Cerenity   Email Cerenity   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cerenity

Mete out,

Boy you hit some things right on the head,
I have become a pro at pushing aside alot of stuff just to have it haunt me in my dreams.
Thanks for your poem, I now no I am not the only one doing this.

Cerenity-1
mete out
Member
since 02-16-2000
Posts 273
england


8 posted 03-06-2000 05:15 AM       View Profile for mete out   Email mete out   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mete out

*Wizzard
Thanks for your kind words, I have been been made to feel very welcome here at Passions.

*Bec
Have you posted any poetry? I did asesrch a while ago and couldn't see any...we are in the same boat it seems, feelfreeto mail me for a chat if you like.

*Cabes
Love always.

*Cerenity
I'm glad I'M not the only one!
Thanks for your support.


 I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


9 posted 03-06-2000 05:34 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

This is a feeling I really know - and I hope that for you it sorts out in time - for that is what it will probably take.

K

 'Writing sharpens life;
life enriches writing'
Sylvia Plath
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


10 posted 03-06-2000 09:41 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn



angelswing
Senior Member
since 02-10-2000
Posts 718
United Kingdom


11 posted 03-06-2000 10:53 AM       View Profile for angelswing   Email angelswing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for angelswing

Great, mirrors the way that we all feel at some time, great, I dont know where it all comes from, you seem to write loads, each one distinct and touching .
Thanks, this poem realy made my day,
Tom .




 With poetry as your weapon - express your iner feelings so all may carry your sorrow, united as one .
mete out
Member
since 02-16-2000
Posts 273
england


12 posted 03-07-2000 04:56 AM       View Profile for mete out   Email mete out   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mete out

***Severn,
Time is what I have been given by a very special person in my life who has been so strong for me...I am on my way up...nearly ready to shine...

***Hoot,
I am truely honoured...Thankyou!

***Tom,
Your reply has really made my day.
Thanks always...You know how much I am in love with your work...Thankyou for being such a good mate.


 I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.
infinat3 sadn3ss
Member
since 02-14-2000
Posts 86
somerset england


13 posted 03-07-2000 05:24 PM       View Profile for infinat3 sadn3ss   Email infinat3 sadn3ss   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for infinat3 sadn3ss

well honey
           i think you knocked the nail on the head for a lot of people , especially me.
love always
cabes
Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 03-06-2000
Posts 3768
Michigan


14 posted 03-07-2000 05:30 PM       View Profile for Butterflies_dont_cry   Email Butterflies_dont_cry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Butterflies_dont_cry

When we push what frightens us to the back of our minds it comes to haunt us when we are at our weekest.  I have felt this so many times but continue to fear re-opening the pain for fear that it will consume me once again.  Your poem sang a song of the soul that those who know sing alone.  I loved your poem and embrace you as one that I know well within the depths of pain.
mete out
Member
since 02-16-2000
Posts 273
england


15 posted 03-08-2000 07:04 AM       View Profile for mete out   Email mete out   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mete out

***Cabes,
Refer to anything I've ever said to you before...Thankyou for everything...love ya.

***B_D_C
Thankyou for your kindness and support.
As long as there are people that can empathise with us, we will never be truely alone.    


 I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.
 
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