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Passions in Poetry

Somthing I wrote (is it good?)

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Nikkisweet
Member
since 02-14-2000
Posts 184
Tx, Dallas


0 posted 02-17-2000 12:07 AM       View Profile for Nikkisweet   Email Nikkisweet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Nikkisweet


I know things are bad
Don't get mad
I know it can be tough
Please be rough

Please don't frown
Write your thoughts down
Mabye in a letter
Don't worry it'll get better

Try eating some junk food
It might put you in a better mood
Go for a walk
And mabye a little talk

Just know I'm there for you
And that I love you too
Put on a smile
As long as a mile........


(Deticated to my friend who is having some family trouble.  It'll be ok.)

  



[This message has been edited by Nikkisweet (edited 02-17-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Nikkisweet - All Rights Reserved
Nikkisweet
Member
since 02-14-2000
Posts 184
Tx, Dallas


1 posted 02-17-2000 12:09 AM       View Profile for Nikkisweet   Email Nikkisweet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nikkisweet

1st part of the poem
3rd line.  
It is soposed to be tough,not rough
CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 02-14-2000
Posts 700
USA


2 posted 02-17-2000 12:13 AM       View Profile for CMGrimm   Email CMGrimm   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CMGrimm

Very sweet Nikki....
Very well rhymed, well structured poem.

Your friend is very lucky to have someone who cares for them as much as you do.


Thanks for sharing that with us.  I'll hold your friend in my prayers.

(By the way, never ask if it is good.  Only YOU know the answer to that question. Poetry that comes from the heart will find an audience of it's own, so long as you allow the audience to be graced by it.)(But, for the sake of answering your question, yes it is.)


Chris


 Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON.
spiked
Senior Member
since 01-13-2000
Posts 886
Hammond, La USA


3 posted 02-17-2000 12:13 AM       View Profile for spiked   Email spiked   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for spiked

nikki this is cute. i like it.
you can edit your mistakes if you realize them after.(I do it All the time)
Rich

[This message has been edited by spiked (edited 02-17-2000).]
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


4 posted 02-17-2000 12:14 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Nikkisweet, you can go into the edit function and change it. Click on the icon with the pencil above your poem. Then click on the submit button and it's fixed! Nice poem! Welcome to Passions!

Denise
just_another_fe
Senior Member
since 02-05-2000
Posts 504
MICHIGAN


5 posted 02-17-2000 12:15 AM       View Profile for just_another_fe   Email just_another_fe   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit just_another_fe's Home Page   View IP for just_another_fe

THIS IS A GOOD POEM BUT YOU SHOULD GO BACK THROUGH AND EDIT IT. MABYE = MAYBE . I SEE YOU RELPIED  INSTEAD OF CHANGING IT . DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW/ ALL YOU GOTTA DO HUN IS GO TO THE TOP WHERE THE ICONS ARE AND CLICK ON THE LITTLE ICON THAT IS A PEICE OF PAPER AND A PENCIL. IF YOU KNOW HOW THEN SORRY IM JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU OUT  
Nikkisweet
Member
since 02-14-2000
Posts 184
Tx, Dallas


6 posted 02-17-2000 12:19 AM       View Profile for Nikkisweet   Email Nikkisweet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nikkisweet

Thanks guys!!
 
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