Dear Ms Hoot, I'm answering
The ad you desperately writ.
I think there is a chance for you
If you'll lower your sights a bit.
I know you have been searching,
For yourself a muse.
I don't know much about that,
I haven't got a single clue.
I see you need some friendship,
Would like trust and romance
I'll give you lots of some of that
When I get inside your pants.
I'll give you lots of quiet walks,
You'll see sunsets, forests, and streams.
But if there's football on TV,
You haven't got a dream.
I'm really good at dancing slow,
Except when it comes to truth.
Then I dance all around it girl,
Like I have since my youth.
Hugs, candles and lots of wine
Are the things that I adore.
I don't like games, either, Baby
(Have I told her that before???)
I have a brain, you can trust me
Its as good as when brand new.
I keep it like that all the time,
Because its hardly ever used.
Personality is my middle name,
Honesty and compassion are, too.
I am a saint with shiny halo
(I think a one night stand will do)
I'm thinking that just maybe,
You should give me a good lay,
Then you can tell me how great I am,
Before I slip away.