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Passions in Poetry

A Simple Madness

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serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


0 posted 02-16-2000 03:44 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for serenity blaze

Coarsing through me
  flush, perspiring--
and a faint twitch of hair
on the back of my neck--
  like someone staring.

I hear whispers in every foot-fall,
  leaves crunching on the path,
and all the day behind me, retiring...
  Still warmth lingers,
envelops me...beguiling and bewildering...
  like a low-grade fever,
a waking fantasy.

Shadows in the wood
  now have ponderous meaning.
And every word not uttered,
  predictably misunderstood.
And had I could pen a world of my own
  invention--could not,
would not have destined you...
no, not to my own invention,
but to the whimsy
  of gods who laugh at love's intention.
© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Beki
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since 09-15-99
Posts 1615
Newport Beach, CA, USA


1 posted 02-16-2000 03:54 AM       View Profile for Beki   Email Beki   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Beki

wonderful imagery here..love the ending:
"I could pen a world of my own
  invention--could not,
would not have destined you...
no, not to my own invention,
but to the whimsy
  of gods who laugh at love's intention."
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


2 posted 02-16-2000 07:29 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Serenity~
Sometimes it just comes up and says,
'Here I am !'
I like the way you phrased the inevitablity of love.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


3 posted 02-16-2000 02:48 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Beki-thanks it sounded better the way you structured it--I know I need help in that department, and presentation, and meter, and...sigh.

Marge- as always I can feel you "rooting' for me.  Much gratitude.
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
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4 posted 02-16-2000 03:19 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

I enjoyed reading this poem--loved the lines, the whimsy of gods who laugh at love's intention.
Parker
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since 01-06-2000
Posts 3135
... the old black rum


5 posted 02-16-2000 05:10 PM       View Profile for Parker   Email Parker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Parker's Home Page   View IP for Parker

serenity, Yes I too really enjoyed the imagery here. Great poem.

Parker
Corazon
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


6 posted 02-16-2000 05:17 PM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

yep liked this too....great images
spiked
Senior Member
since 01-13-2000
Posts 886
Hammond, La USA


7 posted 02-16-2000 11:30 PM       View Profile for spiked   Email spiked   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for spiked

Great expression of your image of love. You seem to have a handle on what you want to convey through your words.
Rich
Breathe~
Member
since 02-05-2000
Posts 319
Washington...


8 posted 02-16-2000 11:40 PM       View Profile for Breathe~   Email Breathe~   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Breathe~

Which path was that?  which route exactly??...*grin*

I'd love to have something like that sneaking up on me...Great poem!  


 Freedom of expression is the watch word...

Meadowmuse
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since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


9 posted 02-16-2000 11:40 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

Wonderful title, Serenity, and I especially loved the feel of a dark anticipation as I began reading your words...excellent effect!

Denise
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since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


10 posted 02-16-2000 11:47 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

This is beautiful, Serenity! Lovely imagery!
Denise
CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 02-14-2000
Posts 700
USA


11 posted 02-16-2000 11:53 PM       View Profile for CMGrimm   Email CMGrimm   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CMGrimm

Wonderful serenity.  You paint a beautiful picture.

"Coarsing through me
  flush, perspiring--
and a faint twitch of hair
on the back of my neck--
  like someone staring"

This, this give me cold chills...love the anticipation.

Thanks for a great read.

Chris



 Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON.
tori
Senior Member
since 06-18-99
Posts 521
Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA


12 posted 02-17-2000 12:07 AM       View Profile for tori   Email tori   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tori's Home Page   View IP for tori

serenity I could hear them leaves crunching under foot..Great visuals
This line rings out

Shadows in the wood
  now have ponderous meaning.
And every word not uttered,
  predictably misunderstood.

Great Job****!



 If with pen in hand I've made you think
I've not wasted one drop of ink
Vlh.
visit my site~ http://www.hsanet.net/user/dkm/hellomy.htm
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


13 posted 02-17-2000 12:44 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Thanks to all--serenity is blushing!!!
devina
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since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


14 posted 02-18-2000 01:33 PM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

No need for blushing m'dear passions sister...this has some wonderful imagery...I thank you for the glimpse!!!!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


15 posted 02-18-2000 01:41 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

I love your writing! There are so many wonderful phrases in this poem. Very creative and poetic mind
Liz
Rex Allen McCoy
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since 01-30-2000
Posts 2636
Sippin a Timmy's in London


16 posted 02-19-2000 12:09 AM       View Profile for Rex Allen McCoy   Email Rex Allen McCoy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rex Allen McCoy's Home Page   View IP for Rex Allen McCoy

'I hear whispers in every foot-fall' ....
....pssst....
... another excellent poem ...

Rex}<{{{{o>
 
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